Christmas time for me

Time for some catharsis guys. Get ready.

Having worked mostly in retail all my working life, it's almost a given that I hate the build up to Christmas.

"You've ruined my childs' Christmas!"

"Why can't you get more staff in?! I've been waiting half an hour!!"

"I want to see your manager! I am not happy!

"I'm next! I'm next!! I'm next!!!"

"I want! I want!! I want!!!"

People are really needlessly angry, stressed, annoyed. This is what Christmas is about-or at least has become about. The behaviour of some can get ridiculous. On a more personal level, the actual day-Christmas day...it really has never been too big a deal. Now I feel almost guilty celebrating it.

I used to always wake up around midday and slightly hungover. Irresponsible of course-as always. Fucking hell I was a shit son. My father used to get up early to make the food. There was always way too much food at the end of it. That was just his way though. Having struggled for food in the early years of his life, it was almost as if he had to make up for that shortage in his older years. My mother would be sat in the living room pissed off about nothing in particular and be watching some awful Indian TV show absolutely refusing to participate in anything festive-not because she hated Christmas, but just because she didn't seem to like it when people were trying to have a good time. My sister would arrive and then so would one of my dads' brothers. Everyone apart from my mother would then eventually sit in the dining room to eat. My mother would get pissed off at people having alcohol and trying to be merry. It was always slightly uncomfortable but oddly quite cosy at the same time. And it was good. What it was-was OK.

And now it is all different. My dad is not around. I don't really want to celebrate Christmas as it just doesn't feel right. But it is almost peer pressure. Everywhere you go, everyone you talk to-it is all about Christmas. I'm not Scrooge, I'm not a grumpy kind of "Bah Humbug" person and I'm definitely not one of those people who when witnessing the "magic" and "miracle" of Christmas can then be changed and then become happy and enjoy it. And not that I believe in Jesus. That subject is almost irrelevant to me. But the fact that people think more about a major brand of soft drink at Christmas than they do of Jesus Christ just does not seem right. Christmas is used for marketing. Christmas is used so people can say "I want this for Christmas".

Sorry, but why the heck should you get anything for Christmas?? Birthdays-yes. You were BORN on that day so whatever many years ago. It's a celebration of your life. Christmas is not celebrating, It is peer pressure and it is stressful and it is saddening.

So does not liking Christmas make me a bad person??

I thought-or would like Christmas to be about helping people. Having a day where you can find some kind of comfort from all the horrible people and the horrible things in the world. I think Christmas time is the time where in the UK, more people commit suicide than any other time in the world. I wish I could help stop this. I understand how the stress can get to people and how they cannot cope. People get in mountains of debt for one day of what they call "celebration". Not only should all of this NEVER happen but how has it even come to this?

I am made out to be a bad person, or a sad,/miserable person just because I do not like Christmas. It is uncomfortable for me. It is stressful, It is hypocritical, It upsets me.

But yet I am almost forced to participate in it.

Black Friday

First of all, why are so many bad things named after "Black"?? As well as the title of this post, you have Blackmail, Black Market, Blacklisted, Black Widow. No wonder there are so many racist people in the world. it seems Black = Bad. All jokes aside, Black Friday is a really strange day to have anywhere apart from The USA. It is a the day after Thanksgiving Day in The USA. It makes sense (although I still don't know why its called "Black Friday". Some say that it is because some retailers go from being 'in the red' to being 'in the black' and actually start to make a profit but I find that hard to believe as the majority of retailers make profit every day especially the one I work for). But for some reason, here in The UK, Black Friday seems to be a thing too. Making no sense whatsoever. In 2013, a supermarket chain in The UK which is a subsidiary of a massive chain in America, introduced Black Friday to The UK thus making crazy people in The UK, going even crazier. In 2014, it was reported by Greater Manchester police that "shoppers had behaved in appalling fashion" and that "lack of planning from retailers was really disappointing". That sounds like just another normal day where I work. People were fighting and looting for crying out loud. Advertisements are a bitch. It is so difficult to not get sucked into wanting something that you do not really need causing people to part with money they probably should not be parting with. In other words, Black Friday is just another stupid marketing gimmick that a lot of people fall for, thinking that they are doing something amazing with their lives by competing against other shoppers and managing to buy something that is priced lesser than it normally is. Question time:- 1) Is the product that you are buying really worth the amount it was before the sale price in the first place? 2) Do you actually believe that you are getting a bargain? 3) Do you think that you have enough hobbies and past times? In short-do you have a life? 4) Do you live outside of The USA? 5) In all honesty, do you feel like you have to buy things because other people are? For example, do you have to keep up with The Jones'? If you have answered yes to at least four of these questions, then you maybe need to reassess things in life.

We have no leader...BUT WE CAN WATCH THE TENNIS

Due to "Great" Britain not being in the EU anymore, times could get really difficult. I think anyone who voted to leave the EU were just desperate for a change. There are so many working class people with no future, nothing to hope for, nothing to look forward to. People need something-a lot of people have nothing. I am not saying whether the referendum decision was correct on incorrect, I did not vote. I have written a blog post on why I have never voted. As well as this, I think that there were a lot of blind votes-by this I mean people voting when they are not a hundred percent sure what the outcome even entails.The results of the EU votes have been made and they have been done and there is no going back. What shocks me most is that regardless of who voted what, the people should be sticking up for each other. People in Britain now more than ever should be thinking "We are not in the EU. We are alone. Now is the time that we NEED to stick up for each other. We NEED to be as one and fight for our future."

Instead we get people moaning about the results.

Instead we get people writing on social media about how pissed off they are with the results.

Instead we get people making petitions to re-vote??

How insane.

Petitions to have another vote do not make sense because anyone who voted to stay in the EU would sign the petition. Anyone who wants out, wouldn't hence why they voted that way in the first place.

People have to accept the decision that has been made and move on with life!

There have been disappointments. There have been let downs.

As I am writing this, Britain currently has no Prime Minister. He resigned after the results were announced. Several politicians have resigned their posts (some would say abandoned their country when they were needed the most) and this just goes to show how utterly disgraceful people in power seem to be. How spineless and how pathetic to do this when your country and the people in it need you more than ever.

|So...no Prime Minister. The country in disarray. People at odds with each other.

Who is there to save us? Wait...we have a royal family!! The Queen. The Princes. Somebody. Anybody.

But...wait. Again...wait. The Prince and probably the future Queen are watching the Wimbledon final, (Congratulations on Andy Murray winning Wimbledon for the second time).

So the question now is-What is the relevance of the royal family? Are they just a posh breed of scallies living off benefits? Why don't they say something or do something? Even if one of them just made a speech telling people that things were going to be OK?? Are they that pathetic and uninterested? Just like a jobless person who gets paid more than enough money to carry on living their lives...why would they bother doing anything as long as they are getting what they need.

The people celebrate The Jubilee, A new child being born into the family. A royal birthday...But why? What is the point? Why are the royal family even a thing? The commonwealth do not like Britain (give the independence but KEEP THE CROWN JEWELS), All of Europe now probably do no like Britain (even though nobody was too keen on Britain in the first place) and nobody really seems to care.

I think the "Great" in Britain has long gone and I think people-the royal family, the politicians and everyone who cannot accept a vote that has not gone their way to just be ashamed of themselves for not having any sort of integrity.

But at least we can all watch the tennis. Right?

Understanding depression

Sometimes when people are hungry, they will want to point out how hungry they are by declaring that they are "starving".

The human body could go up to a month without eating any food. It is not a healthy thing to do of course, but that is the fact of the human body. You would need water. No water for around ten days would be fatal. But the human body can go without food for around 30 days after all the stored fats, glucose, muscle mass and tissue have all become used...that is when your body will shut down. So when people claim that they are "starving" when they have gone a few hours without food is just a very exaggerated term.

People also use a term for when they feel down. That they are "depressed".

"That shop didn't have the ring in my size. It's well depressing".

"It's depressing watching them play football like that".

"It's so depressing that this place is going to close down".

These are all terms that I have heard people say today. Of course, they are all exaggerated. And it kind of annoyed me.  Should people be allowed to say they are depressed for such reasons? Is that not undermining what is a severe illness?

I am very ashamed to say that I do and have not treated mental health as seriously as I should have. I always used to think that when it came to mental health, something like depression for example, why would a person let that take over them? Surely the mindset could be strong enough to cope with such a silly thing? Surely if you were depressed, you could force yourself to get up and do something about it and live your life and become mentally stronger? And that this could make you a stronger person? After all, what if someone wasn't diagnosed with depression? They wouldn't know any better. So how could they not at least try to live their life to the fullest if they had no clue that their setbacks they suffer in their minds was actually an illness?

But if you don't understand it, then how can you make decisions about it? How can you judge it? And also, if you were depressed, but you weren't diagnosed as depressed-in other words if you hadn't been to the doctor-what happens then?

I don't understand it...Or do I understand it better than I think?

It is normal for everyone to feel down at some point. This is life. But if feeling down got in the way of actually doing everyday things in life-then this could be depression. And I have felt like that myself a lot of the times. I am sure that there are a lot of people who haven't been diagnosed with depression that have and are going through this right this very minute.

So far, it is still a bit of a taboo subject. People do not seem to be exploring this illness as much as they probably should be. It seems to be kind of pushed to the side. One example being the anti-depressants. It seems that they are just prescribed by doctors to "help cope" with depression but in my own personal opinion, I have to ask the question whether this is just a case of accepting things rather than getting to the root of the problem. Also with bipolar disorder-which is also known as manic depression (where your mood can gradually go from one extreme to the other and your behaviour may be impulsive and you would be very hyper and have little or no sleep), anti-depressants can actually be worse for you.

People often mistake feeling sadness is depression. This is not necessarily the case. Depression can be down swings in mood, emptiness, restlessness, being irritable and/or short tempered.

You kind of lose interest in pleasurable things.
Your behaviour can become very reckless.
You have problems concentrating.
Your body aches. You have no energy.

There are some very interesting facts about depression too. Depression rates for women are double than that of those in men but men have a higher suicide risk. As well as this, men apparently are more reluctant to admit that they are feeling like this. So could talking about it be very beneficial?

So how would someone put up with mood swings, sadness with no explanation and feelings of suicide and not wanting to face the world? Is there are an actual cure for all this? Apparently not. Anti-depressants have so many side effects that people actually feel worse for a long time before they actually supposedly start to feel better-that is what they say however in my opinion, it is just your body and mind getting used to them-not so long ago, someone was diagnosed with depression, was given anti-depressants and then that poor person committed suicide. So what does a person with depression do to beat this? Is it even possible to do so?

And what does all this do to a person who would know someone close to them who is suffering from depression? Whether it has been diagnosed or not? Not only is it difficult actually having depression, but it is also difficult dealing with a person who has depression. I very much now believe that depression could also be contagious. Imagine if you care for someone with depression? How would it make you feel if no matter what you did. no matter what you said or anything you could do for them just didn't matter? How would that make you feel?? It would make you feel really down. It would make you feel empty. It would make you feel like there is no point.

Maybe I will continue this on another blog post. I don't know, But right now, I believe that depression MUST come from somewhere. Whether it be something very obvious that had recently happened to you or whether it is an underlying sadness from something that could have happened to you in the past but has affected you and is still affecting you because you never dealt with it and are still having trouble coming to terms with it. Maybe it is that long ago that you have even forgotten what it is. It is at the back of your mind, hidden away under a million other thoughts you have had since then.

Maybe getting to the root of the problem and dealing with it is the key.

From the research that I have done, for anyone that is suffering from depression, get help. Talk to someone. Statistics say that talking to someone helps. On a good day, make the decision to get help BEFORE you have a bad day. Because it is not just yourself that is hurting.

 It is the people that care about you who are suffering too.

A trip to the cinema

Until last week, I had not been to the cinema in over five years. And I might as well  had not bothered going.

I watched Batman V Superman. Two of the biggest and most iconic fictional characters in one movie! Going against each other as the title may suggest. How exciting for us comic book fans and also for the millions of people who have jumped onto the comic book bandwagon all of a sudden as it seems to have become part of some kind of fashion that is currently going on. I wrote on my last post how Marvel were ruining comic book characters by creating such awful, pathetic, horrid disgraceful movies. Well, it looks like DC are doing the same with this pathetic dire excuse of a film.

But I am not here to review the movie itself.  It's each to their own. If you like bad acting, no plot-just a lot of awful sub plots, silly characterisation, a script that seemed like it was written by dimwits, and if all you're interested in is special effects and an explosion and nonsensical poo then by all means go and watch this movie. Otherwise, if  you have a brain then don't bother.

I am actually here to write the cinema experience. And how terrible and strange that was too.

First of all, I booked tickets through a very convenient cinema website. You could even choose your seats from the ones that were available! Again, more excitement that was unbearably difficult to contain.

So you could choose to be in "regular" seats. This cost quite a bit I noticed. But they were "regular". So what are the next ones? IMAX! What exactly is IMAX? I was not too sure. The tickets for IMAX were more pricey. I had heard of it and a quick explanation given to me made me choose to actually go for the IMAX tickets...But...wait...there was more. There was 3D IMAX SUPER EXTRAVAGANZA. Now this meant that you could watch the movie and enjoy it in the most amazing way possible-even more pricey of course. Another quick explanation and the fact that there were 3D glasses that I could borrow to experience this made me not choose the 3D IMAX SUPER EXTRAVAGANZA but just the IMAX. As I had not been to the cinema in such a long time, I figured I might as well go a bit crazy but not too crazy. Still insane prices for cinema tickets but what the hell.

I like nachos, I really like nachos and jalapeños. On the day of the cinema I wanted to get these. When I got to the cinema and looked at the prices, I was shocked...but it was OK For the price of an hour and a half of work at a minimum wage job, you MUST get A TON of nachos that would last until well after the movie was over. But what I received was a small amount of triangles on a small tray with a small amount of jalapeños that seemed...pointless. I went large too. This was supposed to be large...an hour and a half of working minimum wage and I got...this...with a post mix drink...no wonder people are so depressed.

But put all that to one side-IT WAS MOVIE TIME. A few trailers into it and then a whisper in my ear "put your glasses on". But I don't wear glasses? Oh! The 3D glasses. This was my first time. It was really odd, looking around and seeing everybody take their out the glasses and put them on. They all looked like complete brain washed zombies. and I was about to become one too. I put the glasses on.

It did not feel right and at first I did not notice any difference and kept glancing over the rim of them and back through them to see if there was any difference. There was! The leaves actually looked like they were falling out of the screen and into the auditorium! It looked like you could reach out and pat the horses bottom! The fireballs looked like they were going to come out of the screen and burn us!

After fifteen minutes, the excitement of the glasses had worn off, just like the excitement of the film, just like the excitement of the whole evening.

The main problem was that even if the movie was a good, even if it was exciting and had me hooked and made me enjoy myself, I still do not think that would have saved the evening. I could not believe how silly the whole thing was. From the overpriced tickets, to the overpriced food, to the over brain washed zombies...I do not encourage illegal activity, but it is no surprise that a lot of people are downloading/streaming movies. These people probably cannot afford to go. And there is no guarantee the movie would be good! The only guarantee is that you will get overcharged and to think how much money these movies make! How much money these actors make is actually quite disgusting and disturbing to think that we are paying for them to live the high life whilst we do not even get enough nachos. Not enough entertainment. Not enough anything for what we pay.