I always read the newspaper as it is good knowing what is going on in the world and recently I have come across a few things that have been said by celebrities that I just had to write a post on. Here are some and my response to them. I thought I would be creative. The blue writings are the quotes I read, the red writings are my thoughts on them:-
Cheryl Cole on why she is here:
"I know now why I was put on this Earth. To be a mother."
So it's not to make shit music and beat up people in nightclub toilets? And in connection to that......
Rhianna on Cheryl Cole:
"Cheryl is hot. I would like to watch her work-preferably cleaning things on the floor."
I take it you have a single or an album coming out soon you stupid pathetic porn star?
Maria Sharapova on life:
"I mean, I'm bored with myself on a daily basis."
Maybe people are bored with you? You were cute when you won Wimbledon at 17 but even then you were an attention seeking brat. "Wah wah wah, look at me everybody, I want to ring my mummy and tell her I won, wah wah wah, ooohh I can't call her on my expensive cell as the signal isn't good, wah wah wah."
Screw you Sharapova. A lot of people would trade places with you even though you are an attention seeking brat.
Roy Hogson on why he didn't take Rio Ferdinand to Euro 2012:
"It's for football reasons."
No, it's because you don't have the balls to say
"I don't want to take you Rio because John Terry called your brother a racist name and it might affect how you are with him."
Well done to Roy no balls Hogson. And in connection to THAT:-
John Terry on kneeing an opposing player in the backside:-
"I was just defending myself. I am not the kind of person who does things like that intentionally."
How was that unintentional you idiot? About as "unintentional" as you cheating on your wife-who of course stayed with you-oh and that was while you won "Dad of the year". How sickening.
Oprah Winfrey on her rich life:-
"Anyone that tells you having your own private jet isn't amazing is lying to you."
You are overrated and shit Oprah. I COULD HOST A BETTER CHAT SHOW.
Megan Fox on her looks:-
"I'm clearly not ugly."
You clearly ARE ugly-not to mention a total idiot.
Victoria Beckham on gay men:-
"I love gay men. Inside me there is a gay man wanting to come out!"
You trying to tell us that you have a penis?
The Queen on the utter pointlessness of her Jubilee:-
"The events have been a humbling experience."
I know that you are the head of armed forces and the church of England and all that but in case you haven't noticed Queen, the country is in decline, the celebrations were hypocritical and the whole thing was a joke. People are kidding themselves if they truly deep down inside themselves think that we should celebrate. In my opinion, the only good thing about The Royal family is Pippa Middletons' backside which is strangely kind of poetic.
And there you are. I will probably be writing another part to this so watch this space.
