For some reason a lot of people have recently been asking me why I have had trouble sleeping for years. I used to think about it a lot myself and then just accepted the fact that this was just the way it is.
But even with that thought, I can't help but ask myself sometimes "Why?"
And I think it is that question and lots of other questions which literally do keep me awake at night.
Questions such as:-
Why is the world the way it is? Why are people so awful? Why do good things happen to bad people? Why do bad things happen to good people? Why are there so many poor people in the world who can't eat and why are there so many rich people in the world who don't help? Why do poor people get poorer? Why do rich people get richer? Why don't people give a shit? Will I ever be happy? Are some people destined to fail? Do you create your own destiny or is everything planned out for you already? Why do girls go for bad boys? Why are people so obsessed with social networking? Are people always searching for ego boosts? Why do people strive to want more and more when they already seem to have everything? What happens when we die? Will we ever know? Why do people die in the first place? Is there a Heaven? Is there a Hell?
I know that I have asked some of these questions, if not all these questions in part here and there on my blog. But it is these questions-just some are these questions-that keep me awake at night. I cannot help but think about them. Unfortunately, some questions just don't have answers and may never have answers. So thinking about them really is a waste of time. But yet I still can't help it.
I guess the psychology of people is always going to be difficult to understand. And trying to understand can either keep people awake at night or just drive people round the bend. I know that there are so called expert psychologists who think they can analyse people and figure out why they are the way they are. These are people who are "figuring" out things from their own point of view. Their own point of view being what they think through circumstances from their own lives thus just having nothing but opinions. And that's all they are. Opinions. Not facts. Not answers.
But the sooner I can actually come to terms with the fact that there is ALWAYS something shit happening in the world, the sooner I can be more content and sleep. And then maybe even be happy. The sooner I can come to terms with the fact that I should just live and let live. The world is the way it is because we made it like that. People are awful because they either have some deep psychological reason for it or were just born twats. Good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people because THAT IS JUST THE WAY IT IS. And in some ways, if we did have the answer to that particular question, then what would be the point?
For example, if we knew the answer to why do bad things happen to good people, then we would have no emotion. It would be like having no tears, no pain, no anything because we would understand why it is happening. It is a question that probably SHOULD NEVER BE answered as then the only way to stop that is when you see innocent people suffering-you can then help them.
As the same with good things happening to bad people. The only way to counter that is to fuck it. Not have some stupid belief that "oh they will all go to hell, don't worry." The actual way to making sure it doesn't stop you from sleeping or drive you round the bend is just to not let it bother you. Not to focus on it.
And then some questions, they just do not have answers. But I guess that is the beauty of life right?
Will all this help me sleep? No. Will it drive me round the bend? Possibly. But only if I let it.
I guess it is all in my own mind. As with anything and everything.
Everything is in your own mind.
Isn't it?
