2020. An absolutely awful year. It's crazy how it has completely changed life.
There is currently a global pandemic. A lot of people are dying from it. The government seems to be in more of a state than ever. Nobody knows what's going to happen. My advice is to just go with the flow and see what happens and then just try and get through. I'm not one for all the new year shenanigans. Originally, I was going to walk to Dovestones again to the top of it for midnight but I was talked out of it.
What I am going to do is use 2021 as a beacon of opportunity to try and do better and also feel better.
In 2020, I've been a bitter, jealous, spiteful and horrible human being. I'm not blaming certain things that have happened to make me feel like this but they have obviously played a part in it all.
I split up with the love of my life TWICE. I really miss my dog that actually wasn't even mine. I've lived in four different places and have been very unsettled. I've been careless, thoughtless and reckless. I've been uncontrollably down sometimes. I was in a car accident when my ribs were already hurt. I went to the hospital because of an undescribable pain in my head where I thought that was it. I almost got run over by a motorcyclist when I walked out into a dual carriageway.
Halfway through the year, I found myself swearing a lot. I try never to swear but I was doing so. I was also saying things that didn't make any sense. Stupid things that were a bit docile. I had no focus at all. As well as this, I was also making silly little mistakes at work not just once or twice, but constantly.
I couldn't think straight. And I couldn't talk to anyone. I could have talked but I didn't try hard enough to talk. And for a lot of things, it's too late now.
There are things about me that I'm leaving behind in and with 2020. The bitterness, jealousy, spitefulness, horribleness, recklessness. It's ALL going. I said on one of my videos in my last post that I need to get back to how I used to be.
I told my friend earlier that the highlight of the year was when I learned how to ride a bike. For those of you that don't know me, the first time I went on one as a child, I fell off and didn't go on one again until recently. Another highlight was when I saw the doggie that isn't mine after a few months. Lovely moment.
There are things that can happen to everyone. Good and bad things. Sometimes more bad than good unfortunately, but it's how you deal with the bad situations that can make you the person that you are. And I want to be better. So good riddance to 2020 and all the bad stuff that has happened. I'm not saying from the first day of 2021, everything will be amazing because everything will just be the same! But I'm going to work more on helping things become amazing. Some things you can't control.
But some things you can.
