This was last year. Copy and paste please:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/getting-ready-for-new-year.html
I find it weird how I am never happy. I think this year I am not going to look for things that make me happy. Maybe I subconsciously already do that. I don't know. I am not and have told people to not go on about how it's " going to be a good year. a new year and a new start". I hate that kind of thing.
I truly do believe that if anyone wanted to make their lives better, they would do it the next day. Or that day. Some people actually WAIT til New Years day "to change their lives for the better". Idiots.
In sport, it was the best year ever. Even though being a Manchester United fan, losing the title on the last kick of the season wasn't nice but the whole drama of it was amazing. In fact-I'm going to write a new post just on the sport.
I feel really empty as I write this. I said the same thing last year. I think it's all in the mind where a bit of me is maybe thinking "Shit, another year Mukesh and what the fuck have you done with it? Nothing as always."
Will this feeling ever end?
Monday 31 December 2012
Thursday 27 December 2012
Gambling advertisements + Payday loan advertisements = Credit crunch + High suicide rates
First of all if there are people who need someone who understands and is impartial to talk to then my email address is somewhere on my blog as a post. Feel free to write.
I was watching a game of football the other day on TV. They weren't really teams that I cared about but football is football. About 20 minutes in I noticed that both the teams had gambling websites sponsoring them. They do that now? Online gambling sites can sponsor football teams? Yes, it has been the case for a few years now.
During half-time I actually for once (not subconsciously) paid attention to the advertisements purely because the first one was a bet in-play for what the score will end up being for the football match. The next advertisement after that was one for another online casino offering a free welcome bonus (stating in small writing at the bottom that "terms and conditions apply" but doesn't state the likely fact that if you accept the welcome bonus you would have to gamble it an estimated average worth of 2000 times that amount before you will be able to withdraw anything INCLUDING your own money). The advertisement after that was one for a payday loan. "If you're short of a bit of money then a payday loan could be just what you need" (not stating that if you take one out, it could lead to financial catastrophe and ruin your life with it's 2000% interest). Only a few days ago in the newspaper there was a story of a man in hospital. He had attempted to commit suicide after he had become involved with payday loan companies. He ended up doing what a lot of people do and that was to take a 2nd payday loan to help pay towards the 1st one and then a 3rd one to help pay towards the 2nd one and then on and on and on..... The man had a wife and 2 kids. One payday loan company kept trying to ring him whilst he was in hospital and even took all the money from his account whilst he was in there. That is what they do. They are legal and there are more and more payday loan companies emerging just as there are more and more bookmakers and more and more online casinos. There was an actual suicide not so long ago of an 18 year old man who got addicted to gambling on his phone. He took out payday loans to fund his habit and then got into a load of debt but couldn't handle it anymore when it all spiraled out of control. Just 18 years old.
People say things like "The credit crunch has made a lot of people go out of business as less people can afford to buy things."
But that is a load of nonsense. Where did the credit crunch come from? Why are so many people becoming more broke? Why are so many people all of a sudden struggling more than they were a few years ago?
The answer to me is so simple. It's because of gambling.
In the town I live there used to be 3 betting establishments in the town centre. Now there are 6. Each 30 seconds (if that) walk away from each other. Shops are closing down in place of more betting shops. Within a 10 mile radius from my house there are over 100 betting establishments! They are becoming so common that you can't go down the street without one being near by.
With all the advertising, sponsoring of betting shops, online gambling and payday loans that are so easily available that a lot of them now boast how fast they can get money into your account (some as little as 10 minutes), is it any wonder that this country is seriously getting fucked? Anyone can get addicted and once you are, it is very hard to get out of. You'll constantly be trying to chase your money back to no avail. If you would be lucky enough to win your money back, you won't stop. It is a downward spiral. And it's happening to more and more people. Now there are so many easy ways to get money from payday loan companies when it should be more difficult to get loans if there are more people out of work then there used to be. A gambler if he had a job, could lose his wage the very day he got it, take out a payday loan, lose that too and then take out another and another. I write "COULD" lose his wage and take out payday loans but I don't know if that is the right word because people ARE doing just that. Hundreds everyday.
There are addicted gamblers who if there were no betting shops would spend their money on other things. Things in normal retail shops maybe, thus funding their business and keeping it afloat. With people having no money to buy things that they would normally buy if they hadn't lost their money, that is the reason shops (apart from betting shops) are losing money and going out of business.
In 2004 the then Prime Minister, the absolutely idiotic Tony Blair said that "Super Casinos would regenerate run-down areas of Britain." How he thought that would be possible I really don't know.
The fixed odds betting terminals or what most people just refer to as "roulette machines" in betting shops apparently take in just under half of the betting shops' profit. Which I think is very surprising as I really thought it would be more. They are dubbed as "The crack cocaine of the betting industry".
Apparently in 2011, in the UK, more than £1 Billion was lost on these machines.
According to research done by a channel 4 documentary, the target areas are mostly poorer areas that have high unemployment.
A couple of months ago, the Labour deputy party leader Harriet Harman said that they made a "mistake" over the gambling laws and that it had ruined peoples' lives. She said the following:-
"I got the most heartrending letters and emails and calls that I've ever had in 30 years of being an MP, just saying 'Please do something about this. It's ruined my life, it's ruined my family, it's really dangerous and the problem is it's getting worse and that's why we need the law to be changed so that something can be done about it'.
Yet nothing does get done about it. It was 4 months ago when she said this, yet things are getting worse! Now there are payday loans available everywhere too! You can download casinos and betting apps on your phone! You can't walk down the street without coming across a bookmakers. The only people that would notice this would be a gambler or someone that knows a gambler. The only people who first hand really notice how damaging gambling already is, again is the people who gamble and maybe the people who know that they gamble and maybe the staff in the betting shops.
It is curious how some people think that if you were a gambling addict, it's not as bad or as serious as being an alcoholic or as a drug addict. Why is this the case? Why do people think this? How many more suicides will it take for this shit government to finally open their eyes and do something? Stop the advertisements, stop the growth of the betting shops. Close them down.
But another huge problem with gambling is how secretive it can be kept. There are no physical signs unlike an alcoholic or a drug addict. A gambling addict can easily just lose all his/her money, then go back to work or back home without anyone knowing at all. Gambling is often referred to as "The hidden addiction".
Worldwide, suicide rates because of gambling are very high. Higher than cocaine or alcohol or any other substance. The reason for this? It's because there is only so much cocaine your body can take. There is only so much alcohol your body could take before you end up in hospital or dead. But in gambling there are no limits. You could lose £100,000 in a day. If you could get access to more, you would lose that too. A very scary fact that I read 3 months ago is that worldwide 1 in 5 problem gamblers attempt to kill themselves. About 80% of problem gamblers think about killing themselves. Only 5% of problem gamblers attempt to get treatment.
The simple fact is that gambling kills you because it doesn't kill you.
The shame, the frustration, the loss of faith, the realisation after it is over can all make a problem gambler want to end their lives. Dealing with the lies you have to tell people. The pathetic excuses why you can't go out, or buy anything and being to ashamed to tell anyone the truth is not easy.
With alcohol, drugs or substance abuse if a person was strong enough to quit that, then their lives can get better. With a gambler, more often than not, they are in debt. If the debt is substantially higher than what they earn, the high of gambling is gone but the desperation to get out of debt isn't. It only takes one big win to get life back on track. Even if you're not in debt, the thought of all he money you have lost is always in the back of your mind. That would only go if you happened to have a big win. And that is why it is just a bottomless pit which more and more people are getting into.
Talking of pits, a few months ago a gambling addict was being hounded by creditors. He ended up digging a hole under his kitchen and hid their for 2 months. Talk about symbolism. People end up alone. They are that ashamed, they do things like this.
One thing I do want to point out is that being addicted to gambling ISN'T a moral failure. People need to realise that you can be addicted to a behaviour and it really needs to be addressed because there are more and more people, some who are genuine good people who are becoming trapped in this sick vicious cycle. Unfortunately it looks like things are going to get a lot worse.
I was watching a game of football the other day on TV. They weren't really teams that I cared about but football is football. About 20 minutes in I noticed that both the teams had gambling websites sponsoring them. They do that now? Online gambling sites can sponsor football teams? Yes, it has been the case for a few years now.
During half-time I actually for once (not subconsciously) paid attention to the advertisements purely because the first one was a bet in-play for what the score will end up being for the football match. The next advertisement after that was one for another online casino offering a free welcome bonus (stating in small writing at the bottom that "terms and conditions apply" but doesn't state the likely fact that if you accept the welcome bonus you would have to gamble it an estimated average worth of 2000 times that amount before you will be able to withdraw anything INCLUDING your own money). The advertisement after that was one for a payday loan. "If you're short of a bit of money then a payday loan could be just what you need" (not stating that if you take one out, it could lead to financial catastrophe and ruin your life with it's 2000% interest). Only a few days ago in the newspaper there was a story of a man in hospital. He had attempted to commit suicide after he had become involved with payday loan companies. He ended up doing what a lot of people do and that was to take a 2nd payday loan to help pay towards the 1st one and then a 3rd one to help pay towards the 2nd one and then on and on and on..... The man had a wife and 2 kids. One payday loan company kept trying to ring him whilst he was in hospital and even took all the money from his account whilst he was in there. That is what they do. They are legal and there are more and more payday loan companies emerging just as there are more and more bookmakers and more and more online casinos. There was an actual suicide not so long ago of an 18 year old man who got addicted to gambling on his phone. He took out payday loans to fund his habit and then got into a load of debt but couldn't handle it anymore when it all spiraled out of control. Just 18 years old.
People say things like "The credit crunch has made a lot of people go out of business as less people can afford to buy things."
But that is a load of nonsense. Where did the credit crunch come from? Why are so many people becoming more broke? Why are so many people all of a sudden struggling more than they were a few years ago?
The answer to me is so simple. It's because of gambling.
In the town I live there used to be 3 betting establishments in the town centre. Now there are 6. Each 30 seconds (if that) walk away from each other. Shops are closing down in place of more betting shops. Within a 10 mile radius from my house there are over 100 betting establishments! They are becoming so common that you can't go down the street without one being near by.
With all the advertising, sponsoring of betting shops, online gambling and payday loans that are so easily available that a lot of them now boast how fast they can get money into your account (some as little as 10 minutes), is it any wonder that this country is seriously getting fucked? Anyone can get addicted and once you are, it is very hard to get out of. You'll constantly be trying to chase your money back to no avail. If you would be lucky enough to win your money back, you won't stop. It is a downward spiral. And it's happening to more and more people. Now there are so many easy ways to get money from payday loan companies when it should be more difficult to get loans if there are more people out of work then there used to be. A gambler if he had a job, could lose his wage the very day he got it, take out a payday loan, lose that too and then take out another and another. I write "COULD" lose his wage and take out payday loans but I don't know if that is the right word because people ARE doing just that. Hundreds everyday.
There are addicted gamblers who if there were no betting shops would spend their money on other things. Things in normal retail shops maybe, thus funding their business and keeping it afloat. With people having no money to buy things that they would normally buy if they hadn't lost their money, that is the reason shops (apart from betting shops) are losing money and going out of business.
In 2004 the then Prime Minister, the absolutely idiotic Tony Blair said that "Super Casinos would regenerate run-down areas of Britain." How he thought that would be possible I really don't know.
The fixed odds betting terminals or what most people just refer to as "roulette machines" in betting shops apparently take in just under half of the betting shops' profit. Which I think is very surprising as I really thought it would be more. They are dubbed as "The crack cocaine of the betting industry".
Apparently in 2011, in the UK, more than £1 Billion was lost on these machines.
According to research done by a channel 4 documentary, the target areas are mostly poorer areas that have high unemployment.
A couple of months ago, the Labour deputy party leader Harriet Harman said that they made a "mistake" over the gambling laws and that it had ruined peoples' lives. She said the following:-
"I got the most heartrending letters and emails and calls that I've ever had in 30 years of being an MP, just saying 'Please do something about this. It's ruined my life, it's ruined my family, it's really dangerous and the problem is it's getting worse and that's why we need the law to be changed so that something can be done about it'.
Yet nothing does get done about it. It was 4 months ago when she said this, yet things are getting worse! Now there are payday loans available everywhere too! You can download casinos and betting apps on your phone! You can't walk down the street without coming across a bookmakers. The only people that would notice this would be a gambler or someone that knows a gambler. The only people who first hand really notice how damaging gambling already is, again is the people who gamble and maybe the people who know that they gamble and maybe the staff in the betting shops.
It is curious how some people think that if you were a gambling addict, it's not as bad or as serious as being an alcoholic or as a drug addict. Why is this the case? Why do people think this? How many more suicides will it take for this shit government to finally open their eyes and do something? Stop the advertisements, stop the growth of the betting shops. Close them down.
But another huge problem with gambling is how secretive it can be kept. There are no physical signs unlike an alcoholic or a drug addict. A gambling addict can easily just lose all his/her money, then go back to work or back home without anyone knowing at all. Gambling is often referred to as "The hidden addiction".
Worldwide, suicide rates because of gambling are very high. Higher than cocaine or alcohol or any other substance. The reason for this? It's because there is only so much cocaine your body can take. There is only so much alcohol your body could take before you end up in hospital or dead. But in gambling there are no limits. You could lose £100,000 in a day. If you could get access to more, you would lose that too. A very scary fact that I read 3 months ago is that worldwide 1 in 5 problem gamblers attempt to kill themselves. About 80% of problem gamblers think about killing themselves. Only 5% of problem gamblers attempt to get treatment.
The simple fact is that gambling kills you because it doesn't kill you.
The shame, the frustration, the loss of faith, the realisation after it is over can all make a problem gambler want to end their lives. Dealing with the lies you have to tell people. The pathetic excuses why you can't go out, or buy anything and being to ashamed to tell anyone the truth is not easy.
With alcohol, drugs or substance abuse if a person was strong enough to quit that, then their lives can get better. With a gambler, more often than not, they are in debt. If the debt is substantially higher than what they earn, the high of gambling is gone but the desperation to get out of debt isn't. It only takes one big win to get life back on track. Even if you're not in debt, the thought of all he money you have lost is always in the back of your mind. That would only go if you happened to have a big win. And that is why it is just a bottomless pit which more and more people are getting into.
Talking of pits, a few months ago a gambling addict was being hounded by creditors. He ended up digging a hole under his kitchen and hid their for 2 months. Talk about symbolism. People end up alone. They are that ashamed, they do things like this.
One thing I do want to point out is that being addicted to gambling ISN'T a moral failure. People need to realise that you can be addicted to a behaviour and it really needs to be addressed because there are more and more people, some who are genuine good people who are becoming trapped in this sick vicious cycle. Unfortunately it looks like things are going to get a lot worse.
Sunday 16 December 2012
Get rid of the guns part 2.
Another mass shooting in America. More innocent people, many of them who were children, get killed. Please copy and paste:-
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/12/14/school-shooting-connecticut/1769367/
I did write it in July that it would happen again if nothing gets done about the guns. I wrote that in 6 months time it will happen again. It was short of 5 months later when it's happened again. Please copy and paste again:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/get-rid-of-guns.html
The president speaks. Please copy and paste the speech:-
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/415456/20121215/connecticut-school-shooting-newtown-gun-control.htm
Thank you for the history lesson Mr President. Thank you for reminding us how many times this kind of thing has happened and yet NOTHING gets done about gun control. Absolutely NOTHING.
There were people outside The White House protesting about the what seems to be non-existent gun laws and wanting a change starting today. Some had signs saying "today is the day".
Unfortunately, I don't think today is the day, no matter what day you are reading this blog post.
I'm not saying that even if there were stricter rules on guns that shootings won't happen. People will still be able to get guns somehow, but when it is SO EASY to get them, what do they expect? Some psycho again will easily get their hands on some and do this again. It keeps happening because it seems guns are as available as easily as chocolate. Why is this?
DO SOMETHING TO STOP THIS HORROR MR PRESIDENT. Or you might as well start planning your next speech.
http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/12/14/school-shooting-connecticut/1769367/
I did write it in July that it would happen again if nothing gets done about the guns. I wrote that in 6 months time it will happen again. It was short of 5 months later when it's happened again. Please copy and paste again:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/get-rid-of-guns.html
The president speaks. Please copy and paste the speech:-
http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/415456/20121215/connecticut-school-shooting-newtown-gun-control.htm
Thank you for the history lesson Mr President. Thank you for reminding us how many times this kind of thing has happened and yet NOTHING gets done about gun control. Absolutely NOTHING.
There were people outside The White House protesting about the what seems to be non-existent gun laws and wanting a change starting today. Some had signs saying "today is the day".
Unfortunately, I don't think today is the day, no matter what day you are reading this blog post.
I'm not saying that even if there were stricter rules on guns that shootings won't happen. People will still be able to get guns somehow, but when it is SO EASY to get them, what do they expect? Some psycho again will easily get their hands on some and do this again. It keeps happening because it seems guns are as available as easily as chocolate. Why is this?
DO SOMETHING TO STOP THIS HORROR MR PRESIDENT. Or you might as well start planning your next speech.
Thursday 29 November 2012
Is doing the right thing...doing the right thing?
As with most people, there are times when I do wonder what would happen if I did that instead of this? If I chose to go this way or that way? Should I be an idiot or shouldn't I be an idiot. What would happen if I did things differently? A lot of people think about this everyday of their lives.
Last week I was out. Drowning my sorrows. Wondering why I don't have a job AGAIN. Why have I lost 3 jobs this year? Why is it that I always seem to be stuck in a rut? Why I am now feeling like I'm running out of motivation, any positivity that I might still have left in me and constantly wondering what it is I actually want? Sometimes I don't even know. Wondering why a rock bar was playing dance music and why everyone was dancing to it.
So I see this handbag on a table. Unattended. I don't know much about ladies handbags- I don't know much about ladies- but this handbag seemed quite large. It was outside, I had just gone to get some fresh air. There was nobody around the handbag. I waited in the cold for about 15 minutes. Nobody came. So I walk up to this huge expensive looking handbag. Look around again. Nobody. What else could I do but pick it up?
Out of simple curiosity I looked inside. Money. About £100. Maybe more, maybe less. I just glanced inside. I didn't see any kind of identification or anything. So what should I do now? Bearing in mind I had no money, no job, no anything.
An honest person would hand it in. After all it wasn't my money. How would I like it if someone stole my money? Which someone had done so in the past. It obviously isn't a good feeling losing money. The right thing to do would be to hand it in. Even though I don't believe in karma anymore:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/karma-or-just-load-of-crap.html
When did doing the right thing get anyone anywhere?
A person who would claim to be kind of honest but would say things like "charity begins at home" would take the money and then hand in the bag. After all if someone else had found the bag, surely they would do that exact thing? So at least the person would have their bag back with anything in it that they might need or be important to them. The money would be gone but surely that is better than everything going? Yes, that would be what most people would surely do? Take the money and then hand the bag in. A benefit for yourself and also the person who had lost their bag.
Now what would a completely dishonest person do? What would an idiot do? But would it be being an idiot or would it actually be being sensible? Take the money, dispose of the handbag and have no qualms about it whatsoever. £100 is a lot of money. What do I need? New jeans? A new phone? How much are phones these days? £100 could go towards a new phone but I probably would have to find a few more handbags to get a brand new decent quality phone the prices they go for now. Or I could just put it all in the bank-I could use it over the next couple of weeks or so. I had no job for crying out loud. Surely it was time for me to be selfish now?
So what did I end up doing then?
In all honestly, I ended up being the idiot. No I didn't take the money and dispose of the bag nor did I take any money at all. I handed it in. All of it. Contents and all. Yes my beautiful readers THAT is being an idiot. The strange thing was that I didn't feel righteous. I didn't feel like I had done a good deed. Even though of course it WAS a good deed. My first thought was a couple of years ago about someone I know who isn't a thief but who for some reason stole a camera out of a girls' bag just to see if he could. Sick I know. He wasn't found out or caught and didn't even need a camera. That person has an amazing job and an amazing life.
I told 10 people about finding the bag and what I did. 9 of them said they would have taken the money but that I "did the right thing". The other person simply said "good boy" which just made me feel like I was supposed to get a pat on the head and a bone.
There was no pat on the head or a even a bone.
Last week I was out. Drowning my sorrows. Wondering why I don't have a job AGAIN. Why have I lost 3 jobs this year? Why is it that I always seem to be stuck in a rut? Why I am now feeling like I'm running out of motivation, any positivity that I might still have left in me and constantly wondering what it is I actually want? Sometimes I don't even know. Wondering why a rock bar was playing dance music and why everyone was dancing to it.
So I see this handbag on a table. Unattended. I don't know much about ladies handbags- I don't know much about ladies- but this handbag seemed quite large. It was outside, I had just gone to get some fresh air. There was nobody around the handbag. I waited in the cold for about 15 minutes. Nobody came. So I walk up to this huge expensive looking handbag. Look around again. Nobody. What else could I do but pick it up?
Out of simple curiosity I looked inside. Money. About £100. Maybe more, maybe less. I just glanced inside. I didn't see any kind of identification or anything. So what should I do now? Bearing in mind I had no money, no job, no anything.
An honest person would hand it in. After all it wasn't my money. How would I like it if someone stole my money? Which someone had done so in the past. It obviously isn't a good feeling losing money. The right thing to do would be to hand it in. Even though I don't believe in karma anymore:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2010/11/karma-or-just-load-of-crap.html
When did doing the right thing get anyone anywhere?
A person who would claim to be kind of honest but would say things like "charity begins at home" would take the money and then hand in the bag. After all if someone else had found the bag, surely they would do that exact thing? So at least the person would have their bag back with anything in it that they might need or be important to them. The money would be gone but surely that is better than everything going? Yes, that would be what most people would surely do? Take the money and then hand the bag in. A benefit for yourself and also the person who had lost their bag.
Now what would a completely dishonest person do? What would an idiot do? But would it be being an idiot or would it actually be being sensible? Take the money, dispose of the handbag and have no qualms about it whatsoever. £100 is a lot of money. What do I need? New jeans? A new phone? How much are phones these days? £100 could go towards a new phone but I probably would have to find a few more handbags to get a brand new decent quality phone the prices they go for now. Or I could just put it all in the bank-I could use it over the next couple of weeks or so. I had no job for crying out loud. Surely it was time for me to be selfish now?
So what did I end up doing then?
In all honestly, I ended up being the idiot. No I didn't take the money and dispose of the bag nor did I take any money at all. I handed it in. All of it. Contents and all. Yes my beautiful readers THAT is being an idiot. The strange thing was that I didn't feel righteous. I didn't feel like I had done a good deed. Even though of course it WAS a good deed. My first thought was a couple of years ago about someone I know who isn't a thief but who for some reason stole a camera out of a girls' bag just to see if he could. Sick I know. He wasn't found out or caught and didn't even need a camera. That person has an amazing job and an amazing life.
I told 10 people about finding the bag and what I did. 9 of them said they would have taken the money but that I "did the right thing". The other person simply said "good boy" which just made me feel like I was supposed to get a pat on the head and a bone.
There was no pat on the head or a even a bone.
Tuesday 13 November 2012
Diwali #3
Well here it is again. My favourite part of the year. Even though it doesn't feel like it as I just lost my job last week. But it is Diwali. It is a little later this year which I do prefer though. When it is after the pointlessness of Halloween. Also after bonfire night too. As promised, last year I said if I was still around, I would write another Diwali story so here it is:-
Long ago the world was taken over by evil. All the people in the world had turned wicked. There was no goodness left in anyone. Everyone had turned selfish, greedy and power hungry. Demons and ogres had taken over. And on this occasion, The Gods were powerless to do anything about it. In desperate hope they turned to a Goddess called Devi for help.
Devi agreed to help rid the world of all this evil and took on the form of The Goddess of destruction called Kali. Kali means "time" and She has 3 eyes which represent the past, the present and the future. But Kali can also mean "black" in regards to the first creation before light itself. In ignorant people She creates fear but to others she removes the avidya (ignorance) that makes us fear Death.
Kali went on a rampage across the whole world, terrifying and killing all the evil in it. One particular demon called Raktabija was difficult to beat as he would produce more demons each time drops of his blood hit the ground. Eventually millions of clones of Raktabija were produced and The Gods thought that they would be defeated. So Kali covered the whole battlefield with her tongue and would lap any of the blood up before any drops hit the ground. The Gods destroyed Raktabija but would have been unable to do so without the help of Kali. All the evil eventually was destroyed. But Kali became carried away with the power and couldn't stop. Some believe that She was drunk on the blood of Raktabija. She carried on destroying the whole world as the anger and fury of seeing all this evil had actually taken over Her. She had gone mad with rage and would often dance out of madness. The Gods tried to stop her but were unable to do so. The Gods then asked Her husband Shiv for help and to try and stop her. But even he couldn't. So when Kali was on one of her unstoppable rampages, with skulls draped around Her, with a sword in one hand and a decapitated head in the other hand, Shiv laid down in front of her and as soon as Kali puts her foot on him, she realises what she has done and what she is doing and stops. It subdues her anger and She then sticks out her tongue in disbelief and remorse. Her hair is disheveled and Her eyes are red and She would wear a garland of 50 human heads that would represent the 50 letters in the Sanskrit alphabet symbolising infinite knowledge. Also she would have demons hands hanging from her belt which symbolises karma. This is often how you would see pictures and statues of Kali.
There are people who don't understand why people would worship someone like Kali. To some people, God is good and The Devil is bad and that's it. But not everything is that black and white.
Anyway, that is another story of good triumphing over evil and light over darkness. Happy Diwali everybody. I will try and write another next year if I am still around!
Monday 12 November 2012
East is........West
I have never been into Indian films. Or as most people say-"Bollywood" movies. I actually hate the term "Bollywood".
Now as a kid whilst I was growing up, my parents used to watch "Bollywood" movies all the time.I always thought that they were so awful. So dull, boring and predictable. The same things would happen in almost every movie. There would be some girl involved who gets saved by the guy, then they would break into song and their clothes would magically change whilst in mid song and so would the setting. "Bollywood" movies are like musicals and I HATE musicals. I had to play a major part in a musical once. Herr Schultz in Cabaret. Even though I cannot stand musicals, ironically that part I played was one of the best things that I have ever done in my life.
But back to the subject. As much as I couldn't stand "Bollywood" movies, they were at least Indian movies. With Indian actors. It is a different script now. Not just in films, but in the general lifestyle as well.
Nowadays, even though the movies are basically still all the same, there is a more sexed up theme in them an in the way Indian people are now living their lives. Saris are starting to be replaced by short skirts, instead of a "Namaste" there is a hug and a kiss on each cheek with a "lovely to see you darling" and instead of dark skinned people (which Indian people generally are), the movie stars-especially the women all seem to be.........white. Here are just a couple of examples:-
Why are they white?
There are now talk shows, where the movie stars would go on. The women wearing next to nothing whilst sitting on couches in shows like "Koffee with Karan" (a 2 word alliteration there). Once I saw some actress go onto the couch with a purse which was weird and they would talk about sex and strangely they would speak in English.
Why do they speak in English?
Talking of speaking in English, a current leading Indian actress called Katrina Kaif couldn't even speak Hindi in her earlier movies. She had to have a dubbed voice. Isn't half the acting in the voice? If not half then at least some of it is. Right? So why was she chosen to act in Hindi movies when she couldn't speak Hindi? Because she looks so Westernised! She lived in London! I do believe that is the only reason. She isn't a great actress and doesn't have any personality whatsoever it seems. For anyone who doesn't know who she is:-
Now as a kid whilst I was growing up, my parents used to watch "Bollywood" movies all the time.I always thought that they were so awful. So dull, boring and predictable. The same things would happen in almost every movie. There would be some girl involved who gets saved by the guy, then they would break into song and their clothes would magically change whilst in mid song and so would the setting. "Bollywood" movies are like musicals and I HATE musicals. I had to play a major part in a musical once. Herr Schultz in Cabaret. Even though I cannot stand musicals, ironically that part I played was one of the best things that I have ever done in my life.
But back to the subject. As much as I couldn't stand "Bollywood" movies, they were at least Indian movies. With Indian actors. It is a different script now. Not just in films, but in the general lifestyle as well.
Nowadays, even though the movies are basically still all the same, there is a more sexed up theme in them an in the way Indian people are now living their lives. Saris are starting to be replaced by short skirts, instead of a "Namaste" there is a hug and a kiss on each cheek with a "lovely to see you darling" and instead of dark skinned people (which Indian people generally are), the movie stars-especially the women all seem to be.........white. Here are just a couple of examples:-
Why are they white?
There are now talk shows, where the movie stars would go on. The women wearing next to nothing whilst sitting on couches in shows like "Koffee with Karan" (a 2 word alliteration there). Once I saw some actress go onto the couch with a purse which was weird and they would talk about sex and strangely they would speak in English.
Why do they speak in English?
Talking of speaking in English, a current leading Indian actress called Katrina Kaif couldn't even speak Hindi in her earlier movies. She had to have a dubbed voice. Isn't half the acting in the voice? If not half then at least some of it is. Right? So why was she chosen to act in Hindi movies when she couldn't speak Hindi? Because she looks so Westernised! She lived in London! I do believe that is the only reason. She isn't a great actress and doesn't have any personality whatsoever it seems. For anyone who doesn't know who she is:-
It's no secret that the Indian lifestyle is becoming more and more westernised especially when it comes to entertainment shows and movies. But why? Not that there is anything wrong with the western culture at all! But my question is why are they doing this? They seem to be getting rid of their own originality just to act like whores. And the beauty of the east is fast becoming an all too desperate attempt to be like the west. Forgetting the term "Bollywood" but just with everything else. Not wearing many clothes, the stupid pointless chat shows (I don't think there has ever even been one cup of coffee drunk in "Koffee with Karan") and the frigging speaking in English thing is really messed up and just makes them look like cheap imitations because they are desperate for attention.
Now Playboy have even opened a club in Goa. Claiming that "it will be non nudity". Yes of course it will be non nudity-for now. Bear in mind that recently there was that first Indian lady to pose nude for playboy. I can't remember what she was called. I'm sure most people have also forgotten her name.
I just do not understand a lot of people sometimes. Dark people wanting to be white. White people getting tanned wanting to be brown. Just be yourself and accept yourself for who you are. Change your life for the better but don't go making yourselves be something that you're not.
Friday 26 October 2012
The new girl part 2
I guess trying to meet the new girl and getting to know her is still
very possible. But of course, the way I am, I would still make it as
difficult for myself as possible. On par with climbing a mountain.
Now the new group I have moved into, I was very wary of at first. From what I had seen of them, they would mess about so much and throw things, swear a lot etc, I wasn't very happy with it. The manager seemed like a lovely lady, though the supervisor I thought at first was disgusting. I was proved right about that. Work wise, he is very good, I cannot deny that. But the guy is a perverted freak. He would constantly feel up the dolly bird from this post up all the time:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/ignorance-is-stupidity.html
With the dolly bird of course liking it but telling him not to do it. Not telling him in a way that would actually stop him doing it but rather in a way where he would do it even more and then she would get a banana out and start peeling and eating it.
Right. OK.
But the way he talks and acts about and around ladies isn't the kind of thing I like. The kind of douche-bag that I have wrote about in my previous post. The kind of guy girls seem to go for. Even if he does refer to girls as "bitches" and says things like "I wanna smash that". Oh and not to mention that he actually has a girlfriend already. THIS is the kind of guy that the girls go for. 99% of them anyway. So let's talk hypothetically if that really is the case. There are about 200 people on my floor at work so working on average if we said that 100 of them were girls, that would leave me one girl. So on my endless search in finding that elusive 1% who isn't a friend, who is a genuinely nice girl who likes me for myself and who (I'm sorry but I really do not want to come across as shallow) is pretty, has a great personality and who doesn't like douche-bags is difficult to find. Now I do want to state again, that I am not shallow or narrow minded and people who are reading this may think that. But the majority of the ladies in our office look and act like they belong in The only way is Essex or one of those awful Jeremy Kyle type talk shows.
As this new girl seems to make me sweat more, makes me weak at the knees and makes my heart skip so many beats that I do think it might pop out and splatter someone over the face with, I kind of think I NEED to get to know her. If she isn't going to be someone who likes me, or even if I end up not liking her, at least then I would know.
Today, just before lunchtime, the douche-bag wants a drink of water and decides to tell us all he is going to get one. A girl in our group who has been working there a year and who CLEARLY likes him asks him if he could get her a cup of water.
"As if I am gonna get you some water. Fuck that."
Bearing in mind that he was going to the water machine anyway, bearing in mind how I wrote on my last post about how I went across the other side of the whole office to get some cups for the new girl. Bear in mind I would probably do that for any girl as I believe that it is the gentlemanly thing to do. But unlike with the new girl, with anyone else, I would probably strike up a conversation. Bear this all in mind for what's coming next.
So at lunch time, my group were all sat around a table eating really unhealthy food when the subject of relationships came up. Now I do get this a lot "Don't worry, we'll find you a lady". But that really isn't the point. I want to be happy. That is the main thing. I have to focus on making my life better for myself. Now I do believe that people can be happy, sometimes they choose not to be for whatever reason. Anyway, in comes the new girl with her group which was my former group who all seem to have forgotten who I was. They all sit a couple of tables away from me with the new girl facing me. Be cool Mukesh. You can do it. You can be cool.
But the problem is, I CAN'T be cool. That is always the problem. So then I start becoming really self conscious in the way I was eating. The way I looked. The sweat. The knees going weak and being so glad that I was sat down. Was my heart actually going to burst through my chest and splatter the guy sat opposite me who was stuffing his face with pizza? Was this the moment it was actually going to happen? What a way to go. The thing was that she did catch my eye a few times. Shit.
Anyway, the douche-bag supervisor then asks me:-
"So, you want me to get you some faj or what? I can get you pussy no problem."
I tried in vain to explain to him how he shouldn't talk like this and that it was a problem with a lot of the guys today in the attitude and behaviour like this. So he then asks me:-
"OK so is there anyone you wanna do?"
Not really wanting to get into a conversation with a sleazy douche-bag about this I said no there wasn't. Luckily our lunchtime was over and being careful to look cool whilst I was getting up from my seat, making sure my knees didn't go so weak I would fall in the middle of the canteen and making sure I didn't look back to see if the new girl even noticed me leaving. I did it. I remained calm. I was cool. Mission accomplished. Me and the douche-bag headed off back to our part of the office. Unfortunately, the conversation still wasn't over.
"Come on, I can get you the faj. There's gotta be someone you wanna smash."
Again, I tried in vain to explain to him why he shouldn't speak like that and just to shut him up, I told him about the new girl and the response I got was this:-
"Oh. Yeah. Her. I've 'ad her."
"Excuse me?"
"I said I 'ad her innit."
An all too familiar wave of nausea swept over me "What do you mean?"
"I mean I 'ad her. Went to her house other night, she ended up wanking me off whilst I sucked her tits.
Fucking fit as she is. Dirty bitch though. In my car and everything."
Even though I have said over a million times that this is the kind of thing that happens, I was still in disbelief.
"What?? Why did she go near you?? And you have a girlfriend anyway. Are you being serious??"
"Yeah it's just on and off with me and my girlfriend. We were off then, we're back on now. Ha ha. My girlfriend is well fit. Not told her. Ha ha."
I realised that he was indeed telling the truth.
I also then realised that this is the kind of thing I should really expect.
It is ALL there in black and white. It is ALL there already in my mind.
But when this kind of thing does happen again, why am I surprised?
Again-the universe really does know how to annoy me. What a fucked up sense of humour the universe has.
Now the new group I have moved into, I was very wary of at first. From what I had seen of them, they would mess about so much and throw things, swear a lot etc, I wasn't very happy with it. The manager seemed like a lovely lady, though the supervisor I thought at first was disgusting. I was proved right about that. Work wise, he is very good, I cannot deny that. But the guy is a perverted freak. He would constantly feel up the dolly bird from this post up all the time:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/ignorance-is-stupidity.html
With the dolly bird of course liking it but telling him not to do it. Not telling him in a way that would actually stop him doing it but rather in a way where he would do it even more and then she would get a banana out and start peeling and eating it.
Right. OK.
But the way he talks and acts about and around ladies isn't the kind of thing I like. The kind of douche-bag that I have wrote about in my previous post. The kind of guy girls seem to go for. Even if he does refer to girls as "bitches" and says things like "I wanna smash that". Oh and not to mention that he actually has a girlfriend already. THIS is the kind of guy that the girls go for. 99% of them anyway. So let's talk hypothetically if that really is the case. There are about 200 people on my floor at work so working on average if we said that 100 of them were girls, that would leave me one girl. So on my endless search in finding that elusive 1% who isn't a friend, who is a genuinely nice girl who likes me for myself and who (I'm sorry but I really do not want to come across as shallow) is pretty, has a great personality and who doesn't like douche-bags is difficult to find. Now I do want to state again, that I am not shallow or narrow minded and people who are reading this may think that. But the majority of the ladies in our office look and act like they belong in The only way is Essex or one of those awful Jeremy Kyle type talk shows.
As this new girl seems to make me sweat more, makes me weak at the knees and makes my heart skip so many beats that I do think it might pop out and splatter someone over the face with, I kind of think I NEED to get to know her. If she isn't going to be someone who likes me, or even if I end up not liking her, at least then I would know.
Today, just before lunchtime, the douche-bag wants a drink of water and decides to tell us all he is going to get one. A girl in our group who has been working there a year and who CLEARLY likes him asks him if he could get her a cup of water.
"As if I am gonna get you some water. Fuck that."
Bearing in mind that he was going to the water machine anyway, bearing in mind how I wrote on my last post about how I went across the other side of the whole office to get some cups for the new girl. Bear in mind I would probably do that for any girl as I believe that it is the gentlemanly thing to do. But unlike with the new girl, with anyone else, I would probably strike up a conversation. Bear this all in mind for what's coming next.
So at lunch time, my group were all sat around a table eating really unhealthy food when the subject of relationships came up. Now I do get this a lot "Don't worry, we'll find you a lady". But that really isn't the point. I want to be happy. That is the main thing. I have to focus on making my life better for myself. Now I do believe that people can be happy, sometimes they choose not to be for whatever reason. Anyway, in comes the new girl with her group which was my former group who all seem to have forgotten who I was. They all sit a couple of tables away from me with the new girl facing me. Be cool Mukesh. You can do it. You can be cool.
But the problem is, I CAN'T be cool. That is always the problem. So then I start becoming really self conscious in the way I was eating. The way I looked. The sweat. The knees going weak and being so glad that I was sat down. Was my heart actually going to burst through my chest and splatter the guy sat opposite me who was stuffing his face with pizza? Was this the moment it was actually going to happen? What a way to go. The thing was that she did catch my eye a few times. Shit.
Anyway, the douche-bag supervisor then asks me:-
"So, you want me to get you some faj or what? I can get you pussy no problem."
I tried in vain to explain to him how he shouldn't talk like this and that it was a problem with a lot of the guys today in the attitude and behaviour like this. So he then asks me:-
"OK so is there anyone you wanna do?"
Not really wanting to get into a conversation with a sleazy douche-bag about this I said no there wasn't. Luckily our lunchtime was over and being careful to look cool whilst I was getting up from my seat, making sure my knees didn't go so weak I would fall in the middle of the canteen and making sure I didn't look back to see if the new girl even noticed me leaving. I did it. I remained calm. I was cool. Mission accomplished. Me and the douche-bag headed off back to our part of the office. Unfortunately, the conversation still wasn't over.
"Come on, I can get you the faj. There's gotta be someone you wanna smash."
Again, I tried in vain to explain to him why he shouldn't speak like that and just to shut him up, I told him about the new girl and the response I got was this:-
"Oh. Yeah. Her. I've 'ad her."
"Excuse me?"
"I said I 'ad her innit."
An all too familiar wave of nausea swept over me "What do you mean?"
"I mean I 'ad her. Went to her house other night, she ended up wanking me off whilst I sucked her tits.
Fucking fit as she is. Dirty bitch though. In my car and everything."
Even though I have said over a million times that this is the kind of thing that happens, I was still in disbelief.
"What?? Why did she go near you?? And you have a girlfriend anyway. Are you being serious??"
"Yeah it's just on and off with me and my girlfriend. We were off then, we're back on now. Ha ha. My girlfriend is well fit. Not told her. Ha ha."
I realised that he was indeed telling the truth.
I also then realised that this is the kind of thing I should really expect.
It is ALL there in black and white. It is ALL there already in my mind.
But when this kind of thing does happen again, why am I surprised?
Again-the universe really does know how to annoy me. What a fucked up sense of humour the universe has.
Wednesday 10 October 2012
The new girl
It's amazing how crazy and loopy a girl can drive a guy.
I have been working at my job for about 2 months now and it is one of those really mundane jobs. But it was a mundane job that I actually wanted. One of those jobs where you can just go in, do the work and go home. I sell home insurance over the phone. Normally it's a case of:-
"I believe that your home insurance is coming up for renewal."
"No it isn't."
I have actually "majorly breached" twice. Not intentionally but on one call I entered the wrong date of birth and on another call I didn't read out a lot of stuff that I was supposed to. After both occasions I was "investigated" by 2 people who would put Sherlock Holmes and Colombo to shame. Now these breaches can be quite common for new starters. They made sure that I understood how the world might actually end if I breached again.
Fair enough.
Now although I wanted a mundane job, somebody like me can't really stay in a job like this without being bored. I know there are a lot of people who are happy with jobs like these. But I need some kind of excitement. Something to make the meaningless days that are actually passing by worthwhile.
So we have a new girl starting.
Now this to me is exciting. Mainly because the new girl is probably the prettiest girl in the whole of the building nevermind just the office. The fact that she was put in my group is even more exciting. I tend to do this thing where if I do come across a girl like, I would think of about 16,000 scenarios of how to start a conversation with her but then just never end up talking to her at all. I have had a crush on a girl for about 5 years now and we have probably spoken about 5 times (not including the times when I order a drink from her) This is classic Mukesh.
So halfway through my shift today I went to fill my bottle of water up from the water machine. She follows me. This was totally unexpected. I wasn't prepared. She then says:-
"Are there any cups"?
This was my chance to turn on the charm. Come on Mukesh:-
"Nup, erm, if you go over there near that other....across...I'll go and get you one."
"OK thanks but I need two"
"........"
I then walk across the floor and go to the other side of the whole office and grab 2 cups. I still had a chance to turn this around. Go Mukesh. I return to where she was standing and say:-
"........"
"Thanks."
Now OK fine, things didn't work out then. No worries. She is in my group. Tomorrow is another day. The one advantage that I do have over a lot of other guys it seems is that I would consider myself a gentleman. I didn't used to a few years ago but when I see how the majority of guys treat ladies, I do think that I am compared to what I have seen, a nice guy and it does make me think that I must have someone totally amazing coming for me in life. Even though I find that most girls like guys that are total douche-bags (I have stated this many times) that there will be a lovely girl out there who likes me for me and doesn't like douche-bags. I HAVE to tell myself that this is the case. So like I said, there will be more chances to get to know her.
So anyway, since my 2 breaches, I have made sure that the past 2 weeks, I read EVERYTHING I was supposed to and I have actually been one of the best in the whole of the department (of about 40 people). If I carry on like this, my commission will be amazing and with this new girl starting things could get really exciting.
So at the end of my shift today one of the managers wants to speak to me. I was assuming he was going to tell me how amazing I have been the past 14 days or so. Instead he says:-
"We're going to move you to another department. You've done really well the past 2 weeks but because of your breaches last month, we're going to move you somewhere else. It's in your best interests as you are still in your probation period."
Now it will be a case of:-
"I believe your car insurance is up for renewal."
"You're too expensive, get lost."
So I won't be anywhere near the new girl.
I get moved JUST when I am starting to do really well.
The universe really does know how to annoy me.
I have been working at my job for about 2 months now and it is one of those really mundane jobs. But it was a mundane job that I actually wanted. One of those jobs where you can just go in, do the work and go home. I sell home insurance over the phone. Normally it's a case of:-
"I believe that your home insurance is coming up for renewal."
"No it isn't."
I have actually "majorly breached" twice. Not intentionally but on one call I entered the wrong date of birth and on another call I didn't read out a lot of stuff that I was supposed to. After both occasions I was "investigated" by 2 people who would put Sherlock Holmes and Colombo to shame. Now these breaches can be quite common for new starters. They made sure that I understood how the world might actually end if I breached again.
Fair enough.
Now although I wanted a mundane job, somebody like me can't really stay in a job like this without being bored. I know there are a lot of people who are happy with jobs like these. But I need some kind of excitement. Something to make the meaningless days that are actually passing by worthwhile.
So we have a new girl starting.
Now this to me is exciting. Mainly because the new girl is probably the prettiest girl in the whole of the building nevermind just the office. The fact that she was put in my group is even more exciting. I tend to do this thing where if I do come across a girl like, I would think of about 16,000 scenarios of how to start a conversation with her but then just never end up talking to her at all. I have had a crush on a girl for about 5 years now and we have probably spoken about 5 times (not including the times when I order a drink from her) This is classic Mukesh.
So halfway through my shift today I went to fill my bottle of water up from the water machine. She follows me. This was totally unexpected. I wasn't prepared. She then says:-
"Are there any cups"?
This was my chance to turn on the charm. Come on Mukesh:-
"Nup, erm, if you go over there near that other....across...I'll go and get you one."
"OK thanks but I need two"
"........"
I then walk across the floor and go to the other side of the whole office and grab 2 cups. I still had a chance to turn this around. Go Mukesh. I return to where she was standing and say:-
"........"
"Thanks."
Now OK fine, things didn't work out then. No worries. She is in my group. Tomorrow is another day. The one advantage that I do have over a lot of other guys it seems is that I would consider myself a gentleman. I didn't used to a few years ago but when I see how the majority of guys treat ladies, I do think that I am compared to what I have seen, a nice guy and it does make me think that I must have someone totally amazing coming for me in life. Even though I find that most girls like guys that are total douche-bags (I have stated this many times) that there will be a lovely girl out there who likes me for me and doesn't like douche-bags. I HAVE to tell myself that this is the case. So like I said, there will be more chances to get to know her.
So anyway, since my 2 breaches, I have made sure that the past 2 weeks, I read EVERYTHING I was supposed to and I have actually been one of the best in the whole of the department (of about 40 people). If I carry on like this, my commission will be amazing and with this new girl starting things could get really exciting.
So at the end of my shift today one of the managers wants to speak to me. I was assuming he was going to tell me how amazing I have been the past 14 days or so. Instead he says:-
"We're going to move you to another department. You've done really well the past 2 weeks but because of your breaches last month, we're going to move you somewhere else. It's in your best interests as you are still in your probation period."
Now it will be a case of:-
"I believe your car insurance is up for renewal."
"You're too expensive, get lost."
So I won't be anywhere near the new girl.
I get moved JUST when I am starting to do really well.
The universe really does know how to annoy me.
Saturday 22 September 2012
The anti-Muslim film
It is something that I watched out of pure curiosity after watching the news this evening and from the reaction it has got, I decided that I should give an opinion. I watched it once-I do not intend to watch it again.
Some guy has made this film then that makes The Prophet Muhammad and his followers look like power hungry looters and murderers and much worse. In one bit someone says that Muhammad is gay and another bit where someone said that he is a pedophile. It takes the mickey out of everything to do with Islam.
The reaction it has got from the Islamic community has been all over the news and I think 24 people so far have died. 24 people have died because of a film that was made. Unfortunately, I think that there are going to be many more deaths.I really hope I am wrong.
Now I know that in The USA where the movie was made, there is always a massive thing about "The freedom of speech" and that is fair enough. But the problem is that freedom of speech can a lot of the time cause offence and in this case, causes innocent people to be harmed or killed.
I have said before that this is what religion does. It creates wars, hatred between people and death. Even though my family are Hindu, I really don't follow religion too much or at all.
Now people can believe what they want to believe-that is fair enough. Nobody actually fully KNOWS anything about what is going to happen after death. Or even if there is a God or not. Nobody actually knows-it is all just belief.
But I understand people being offended if their beliefs are being taken the mickey out of. It isn't nice to say the least. But I think that by reacting in violent ways the situation is going to make everything horribly worse. According to the news, there is already talk of "revenge against the west". Now by the look of the film, it was probably made by a very small group of people and now the whole of the west has to suffer? It isn't right.
I think that most of the people who do watch this film would have to agree on how pathetic it actually looks and being angry about it and causing violence is just going to escalate an already bad situation from such a stupid, ridiculous film.
Imagine if all the protestors just decided to protest in a non violent way. People would then believe EVEN MORE that this film is wrong whereas at the minute, the idiot creators of the film are going to be saying to themselves that their point is being proven and that Islam is a violent religion. People of Islam, you now have a chance to prove them wrong and stop the violence.
Some guy has made this film then that makes The Prophet Muhammad and his followers look like power hungry looters and murderers and much worse. In one bit someone says that Muhammad is gay and another bit where someone said that he is a pedophile. It takes the mickey out of everything to do with Islam.
The reaction it has got from the Islamic community has been all over the news and I think 24 people so far have died. 24 people have died because of a film that was made. Unfortunately, I think that there are going to be many more deaths.I really hope I am wrong.
Now I know that in The USA where the movie was made, there is always a massive thing about "The freedom of speech" and that is fair enough. But the problem is that freedom of speech can a lot of the time cause offence and in this case, causes innocent people to be harmed or killed.
I have said before that this is what religion does. It creates wars, hatred between people and death. Even though my family are Hindu, I really don't follow religion too much or at all.
Now people can believe what they want to believe-that is fair enough. Nobody actually fully KNOWS anything about what is going to happen after death. Or even if there is a God or not. Nobody actually knows-it is all just belief.
But I understand people being offended if their beliefs are being taken the mickey out of. It isn't nice to say the least. But I think that by reacting in violent ways the situation is going to make everything horribly worse. According to the news, there is already talk of "revenge against the west". Now by the look of the film, it was probably made by a very small group of people and now the whole of the west has to suffer? It isn't right.
I think that most of the people who do watch this film would have to agree on how pathetic it actually looks and being angry about it and causing violence is just going to escalate an already bad situation from such a stupid, ridiculous film.
Imagine if all the protestors just decided to protest in a non violent way. People would then believe EVEN MORE that this film is wrong whereas at the minute, the idiot creators of the film are going to be saying to themselves that their point is being proven and that Islam is a violent religion. People of Islam, you now have a chance to prove them wrong and stop the violence.
Friday 21 September 2012
Ignorance is stupidity
It's not really related to this post that I have written a while ago, but the title made me think of it:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/ignorance-is-bliss-or-knowledge-is.html
And also this post which I wrote a while ago which is a classic:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/30-of-stupidest-things-people-have-said.html
Unfortunately, it does seem that people around me just seem to become more ignorant.
I currently work in a job that could be considered mundane. It has it's good points and bad points I guess. In my group, there is a girl. A dolly-bird. A fake tanned, too much make-up waring dolly-bird. Now I have mentioned before that I am far too professional to name names. It is not what I do. But the girl checks her make up every 5 minutes, checks her Facebook ever 10 minutes (I only see here in work and yes, she does this whilst in work) and asks someone whether she "looks alright" every 20 minutes. During the course of last week, a guy farted in her face and she giggled. A couple of other guys joked about raping her and she giggled. A guy called her a "wench" and she giggled. Now I hate seeing or hearing any kind of this absolutely disgusting behaviour and I really would have been happy to smash these guys faces in because I believe that is what they deserved. If that was my girlfriend, a friend or a relative or even someone who I knew, I would want to smash their faces in but when a girl giggles at this kind of lewd behaviour-it really just boggles the mind. What, she LIKES being spoken to like this? She LIKES being treated like this? Does she think that this will make people LIKE her??
Anyway, today I was eating lunch which consisted of being ham sandwiches (which I made in 30 seconds the night before) and I was reading my book in the canteen at work. She sits next to me "what you reading? And what are you having for lunch?"
I'm always up for a conversation "The prisoner of Heaven and ham sandwiches".
Then came the words "How come you're eating ham? You're Muslim."
Now I understand that some people can be through no fault of their own, very ignorant. But that can be rectified-maybe they just haven't met any Indian people. Maybe the only Asian people they have met have been Muslim. OK, I can just about accept that. JUST ABOUT. So I told her that "Just because I am brown, doesn't mean to say I am Muslim. Try opening your mind a bit".
She took offence to this and eventually stormed off and then bad mouthed me to people.
Now this is a girl who giggles when her face gets farted in, a girl who giggles when people say they are going to rape her, a girl who giggles when she gets called a "wench". A girl who is also brown but purely through fake tan-does this mean that she can't eat ham too? People who are her friends say disgusting things to her and it is fine. I say what I did and it causes offence? Maybe I should fart in her face next time? No I could never bring myself to ever do that. I would never even think about saying or doing things that some people probably have to her, I couldn't to ANYONE.
I fail to understand as to why people are like this. I have wrote before on my blog how it seems like most women like to be treated like shit. I do not get it. Do women like this think it is the only way they are liked?? What makes them be want to be treated like this?? It is something I just don't understand. It is something I guess in some ways that I never want to understand to be fair. It is messed up.
The other night I was walking home at about 2am and there was a group of people of around 6 guys and 2 girls on the other side of the road. I walked past them on my side of the road and after about 10 metres one of them then shouted "Oi Ghandi. Fucking Ghandi innit". The 2 girls started laughing and then that same guy shouted "Yeah you, you fucking Paki". Then the other guys and girls joined in shouting "Ghandi" and "Paki" and I just carried on walking. Of course, part of me wanted to find a plank of wood and absolutely knock the little sense out of them that they had. Part of me wanted to turn around and give them an educational lesson of how Mahatma Karamchand Ghandi was Indian who led India to independence and led movements for non violent civil rights and they were shouting "Paki"to me?? Who do they think Ghandi was?? What did they think he did? Would it have been really ironic if I did happen to get a plank of wood and beat these morons with it whilst educating them that Mahatma Karamchand Ghandi employed a non violent disobedience??
I know people keep telling me things like "Yeah there are some ignorant idiots in the world, just ignore them". But how is that possible? Why are people like this?
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2010/10/ignorance-is-bliss-or-knowledge-is.html
And also this post which I wrote a while ago which is a classic:-
http://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.co.uk/2011/02/30-of-stupidest-things-people-have-said.html
Unfortunately, it does seem that people around me just seem to become more ignorant.
I currently work in a job that could be considered mundane. It has it's good points and bad points I guess. In my group, there is a girl. A dolly-bird. A fake tanned, too much make-up waring dolly-bird. Now I have mentioned before that I am far too professional to name names. It is not what I do. But the girl checks her make up every 5 minutes, checks her Facebook ever 10 minutes (I only see here in work and yes, she does this whilst in work) and asks someone whether she "looks alright" every 20 minutes. During the course of last week, a guy farted in her face and she giggled. A couple of other guys joked about raping her and she giggled. A guy called her a "wench" and she giggled. Now I hate seeing or hearing any kind of this absolutely disgusting behaviour and I really would have been happy to smash these guys faces in because I believe that is what they deserved. If that was my girlfriend, a friend or a relative or even someone who I knew, I would want to smash their faces in but when a girl giggles at this kind of lewd behaviour-it really just boggles the mind. What, she LIKES being spoken to like this? She LIKES being treated like this? Does she think that this will make people LIKE her??
Anyway, today I was eating lunch which consisted of being ham sandwiches (which I made in 30 seconds the night before) and I was reading my book in the canteen at work. She sits next to me "what you reading? And what are you having for lunch?"
I'm always up for a conversation "The prisoner of Heaven and ham sandwiches".
Then came the words "How come you're eating ham? You're Muslim."
Now I understand that some people can be through no fault of their own, very ignorant. But that can be rectified-maybe they just haven't met any Indian people. Maybe the only Asian people they have met have been Muslim. OK, I can just about accept that. JUST ABOUT. So I told her that "Just because I am brown, doesn't mean to say I am Muslim. Try opening your mind a bit".
She took offence to this and eventually stormed off and then bad mouthed me to people.
Now this is a girl who giggles when her face gets farted in, a girl who giggles when people say they are going to rape her, a girl who giggles when she gets called a "wench". A girl who is also brown but purely through fake tan-does this mean that she can't eat ham too? People who are her friends say disgusting things to her and it is fine. I say what I did and it causes offence? Maybe I should fart in her face next time? No I could never bring myself to ever do that. I would never even think about saying or doing things that some people probably have to her, I couldn't to ANYONE.
I fail to understand as to why people are like this. I have wrote before on my blog how it seems like most women like to be treated like shit. I do not get it. Do women like this think it is the only way they are liked?? What makes them be want to be treated like this?? It is something I just don't understand. It is something I guess in some ways that I never want to understand to be fair. It is messed up.
The other night I was walking home at about 2am and there was a group of people of around 6 guys and 2 girls on the other side of the road. I walked past them on my side of the road and after about 10 metres one of them then shouted "Oi Ghandi. Fucking Ghandi innit". The 2 girls started laughing and then that same guy shouted "Yeah you, you fucking Paki". Then the other guys and girls joined in shouting "Ghandi" and "Paki" and I just carried on walking. Of course, part of me wanted to find a plank of wood and absolutely knock the little sense out of them that they had. Part of me wanted to turn around and give them an educational lesson of how Mahatma Karamchand Ghandi was Indian who led India to independence and led movements for non violent civil rights and they were shouting "Paki"to me?? Who do they think Ghandi was?? What did they think he did? Would it have been really ironic if I did happen to get a plank of wood and beat these morons with it whilst educating them that Mahatma Karamchand Ghandi employed a non violent disobedience??
I know people keep telling me things like "Yeah there are some ignorant idiots in the world, just ignore them". But how is that possible? Why are people like this?
Wednesday 12 September 2012
Andy Murray finally wins a slam
It was one of the greatest tennis matches I have ever seen.
I have used Andy Murray as an example in one of my previous blog posts as someone whose mind stops him getting to the top. It was never his actual stamina, his talent or his ability but it was always like a mental block that he seemed to have in being his own worst enemy. Whatever was going through his mind, I also said that maybe, as ridiculous as this might sound that subconsciously, there might be even a little part of him that didn't want to reach the top. For whatever reason. This does happen to people and I think that maybe like him, this happens to me too.
I am not saying I'm a great a tennis player, I am not adored by millions, I don't have an unbelievably gorgeous girlfriend (I don't have a girlfriend full stop), but what I am trying to say is that some people do have a natural, or so it seems could be natural, a tendency to self-destruct. It is just in some peoples' nature to do this.
It almost happened in this tennis match too. Murray was 2 sets up and then lost the next 2 where you could start seeing signs that he might just self destruct there and then but then he stormed the final set. Well deserved and it was quite inspirational to watch.
It just goes to show that you CAN reach the top no matter whatever is going on in your mind that you might think is stopping you from doing that.
I know some people might say that it was just a tennis match. But to me and probably to a lot of other people, it was always much more than that.
I have used Andy Murray as an example in one of my previous blog posts as someone whose mind stops him getting to the top. It was never his actual stamina, his talent or his ability but it was always like a mental block that he seemed to have in being his own worst enemy. Whatever was going through his mind, I also said that maybe, as ridiculous as this might sound that subconsciously, there might be even a little part of him that didn't want to reach the top. For whatever reason. This does happen to people and I think that maybe like him, this happens to me too.
I am not saying I'm a great a tennis player, I am not adored by millions, I don't have an unbelievably gorgeous girlfriend (I don't have a girlfriend full stop), but what I am trying to say is that some people do have a natural, or so it seems could be natural, a tendency to self-destruct. It is just in some peoples' nature to do this.
It almost happened in this tennis match too. Murray was 2 sets up and then lost the next 2 where you could start seeing signs that he might just self destruct there and then but then he stormed the final set. Well deserved and it was quite inspirational to watch.
It just goes to show that you CAN reach the top no matter whatever is going on in your mind that you might think is stopping you from doing that.
I know some people might say that it was just a tennis match. But to me and probably to a lot of other people, it was always much more than that.
Saturday 18 August 2012
Olympic Games 2012
I had to write a post on this as I thought that the games were frigging amazing.
I'm going to post my favourite/worst moments. Let me know if you agree or not!
Best moment:-
There were a lot of amazing moments-Jessica Ennis winning the Heptathlon, Usain Bolt being Usain Bolt, the world record being broken in the 800m by David Rudiha, Andy Murray winning a gold medal, Michael Phelps winning lots of medals, Mo Farah winning and then winning again, Sir Chris Hoy winning a gold medal and then crying, the womens' beach volleyball. Lots. There were frigging LOTS.
But I am going to give my best moment to Gemma Gibbons in the Judo. She didn't win gold but won a silver but unbelievably getting to the final. She was amazing and also for the fact that I only ever watch Judo when it is The Olympics but never really caring about it until this year. I was glued to the screen and really wanted her to go all the way. Her punching the air when she made the final was awesome. And looking up and mouthing "I love you" to her mother who had passed away through leukaemia was beautiful.
Worst moment:-
Not that many at all. Someone called Nadzeya Ostapchuk from Belarus-she failed a drug test and had her Shot Put gold medal stripped. The 2 teams from South Korea, 1 from China and 1 from Indonesia in the Badminton who lost their matches on purpose so they might have had easier opponents in the next round was just pathetic to watch.
But the winner is One Direction, Jesse J AND Russell Brand at the closing ceremony. What the hell were they even doing there?
Most controversial moment:-
This was unbelievable. See for yourself how Shin A Lam got robbed in The Fencing semi-final. Keep your eye on the clock when there is one second to go. Copy and paste:-
http://www.buzzfeed.com/ktlincoln/an-olympic-fencer-refuses-to-leave-the-floor-after
Best celebration:-
Amazing celebration from Robert Harting after winning The Mens' Discus event. Copy and paste:-
http://bostinno.com/2012/08/08/video-robert-harting-hulk-celebration-discus-gold-germany/#ss__199315_1_0__ss
Best Football game:-
For any Americans that read this, I am not too sure what "Soccer" is but I do know that Football is Football because it is played with your feet. The best game goes to The American ladies who beat Canada 4-3 in The Womens' semi-final. What a game.
Biggest let down:-
Apart from the horrific One Direction, the awful Russel Brand and the gross Jesse J, also Victoria Pendleton on 2 things, one being disqualified from her first event and secondly after The Olympics finished, saying "I want to try Strictly Come Dancing".
But the winner has to be India on not winning a single gold medal! Darn it! 2 silvers and 4 bronze-well at least that is 6 more medals than Pakistan.
Best picture:-
No, the winner isn't Mo Farah after winning either of his races. Or Usian Bolt after winning either of his races. Or Mo Farah doing a Usain Bolt pose. Or Usain Bolt doing a Mo Farah pose.
It is Sally Pearson after winning the 100m Womens' Hurdles:-
But I have to put in a 2nd. It is the beautiful, graceful Natalya Antyukh from Russia winning the 400m Womens' Hurdles:-
And the bronze medal for the best picture goes to the silver medallist Gemma Gibbons:-
and the last one that I had to put in is of Annalisa Harju from Finland after she and her friends brought tickets online which never arrived:-
Best quotes:-
I couldn't really pick just one. So here are a few:-
"My mother used to tell us in the mornings, 'Carl put on your shoes, Oscar you put on your prosthetic legs...' so I grew up not really thinking I had a disability. I grew up thinking I had different shoes."
- Oscar Pistorius
"I hope that this medal (silver in the Mens' 20 km race walk. Guatemalas' first-ever Olympic medal) inspires the kids at home to put down knives and guns and pick up a pair of trainers instead."
- Erick Barrondo
A presenter to Beth Tweddles' parents after she won a bronze medal on The Uneven Bars-"Just tell me what you've been going through this past week."
"I've been laying a patio."
- Mr Tweddle
"There were moments when you began to wonder if The Olympics were the only thing we had to hand over to Rio: Could The Brazilians not be coerced into taking Russell Brand off our hands while they were about it?"
- Alexis Petridis (Pop and Rock critic)
"The female body is a masterpiece. Everyone likes to look at the female body, especially in dynamic, athletic sport." - Natalie Cook
"Of course it is an amazing feeling to represent your country and I hope there will be many more occasions to come, because I really love the tune of our national anthem."
- Sandra Raluca Izbasa
"About a year ago I was not sure I would be alive. It's winning just being here, speaking to you guys."
- Petr Koukal
"Sometimes it's just the beer and bikinis that get people to come to watch, but it's the competition that's keeping them there."
- Kerri Walsh Jennings
"We've won The Olympics"
- Katherine Copeland
And that's it. The best (and worst) moments from The Olympic Games 2012. Well done London, well done to all the athletes, organisers and volunteers (my cousin and his wife being 2 of them). It was an amazing Olympic games.
I'm going to post my favourite/worst moments. Let me know if you agree or not!
Best moment:-
There were a lot of amazing moments-Jessica Ennis winning the Heptathlon, Usain Bolt being Usain Bolt, the world record being broken in the 800m by David Rudiha, Andy Murray winning a gold medal, Michael Phelps winning lots of medals, Mo Farah winning and then winning again, Sir Chris Hoy winning a gold medal and then crying, the womens' beach volleyball. Lots. There were frigging LOTS.
But I am going to give my best moment to Gemma Gibbons in the Judo. She didn't win gold but won a silver but unbelievably getting to the final. She was amazing and also for the fact that I only ever watch Judo when it is The Olympics but never really caring about it until this year. I was glued to the screen and really wanted her to go all the way. Her punching the air when she made the final was awesome. And looking up and mouthing "I love you" to her mother who had passed away through leukaemia was beautiful.
Worst moment:-
Not that many at all. Someone called Nadzeya Ostapchuk from Belarus-she failed a drug test and had her Shot Put gold medal stripped. The 2 teams from South Korea, 1 from China and 1 from Indonesia in the Badminton who lost their matches on purpose so they might have had easier opponents in the next round was just pathetic to watch.
But the winner is One Direction, Jesse J AND Russell Brand at the closing ceremony. What the hell were they even doing there?
Most controversial moment:-
This was unbelievable. See for yourself how Shin A Lam got robbed in The Fencing semi-final. Keep your eye on the clock when there is one second to go. Copy and paste:-
http://www.buzzfeed.com/ktlincoln/an-olympic-fencer-refuses-to-leave-the-floor-after
Best celebration:-
Amazing celebration from Robert Harting after winning The Mens' Discus event. Copy and paste:-
http://bostinno.com/2012/08/08/video-robert-harting-hulk-celebration-discus-gold-germany/#ss__199315_1_0__ss
Best Football game:-
For any Americans that read this, I am not too sure what "Soccer" is but I do know that Football is Football because it is played with your feet. The best game goes to The American ladies who beat Canada 4-3 in The Womens' semi-final. What a game.
Biggest let down:-
Apart from the horrific One Direction, the awful Russel Brand and the gross Jesse J, also Victoria Pendleton on 2 things, one being disqualified from her first event and secondly after The Olympics finished, saying "I want to try Strictly Come Dancing".
But the winner has to be India on not winning a single gold medal! Darn it! 2 silvers and 4 bronze-well at least that is 6 more medals than Pakistan.
Best picture:-
No, the winner isn't Mo Farah after winning either of his races. Or Usian Bolt after winning either of his races. Or Mo Farah doing a Usain Bolt pose. Or Usain Bolt doing a Mo Farah pose.
It is Sally Pearson after winning the 100m Womens' Hurdles:-
But I have to put in a 2nd. It is the beautiful, graceful Natalya Antyukh from Russia winning the 400m Womens' Hurdles:-
And the bronze medal for the best picture goes to the silver medallist Gemma Gibbons:-
and the last one that I had to put in is of Annalisa Harju from Finland after she and her friends brought tickets online which never arrived:-
Best quotes:-
I couldn't really pick just one. So here are a few:-
"My mother used to tell us in the mornings, 'Carl put on your shoes, Oscar you put on your prosthetic legs...' so I grew up not really thinking I had a disability. I grew up thinking I had different shoes."
- Oscar Pistorius
"I hope that this medal (silver in the Mens' 20 km race walk. Guatemalas' first-ever Olympic medal) inspires the kids at home to put down knives and guns and pick up a pair of trainers instead."
- Erick Barrondo
A presenter to Beth Tweddles' parents after she won a bronze medal on The Uneven Bars-"Just tell me what you've been going through this past week."
"I've been laying a patio."
- Mr Tweddle
"There were moments when you began to wonder if The Olympics were the only thing we had to hand over to Rio: Could The Brazilians not be coerced into taking Russell Brand off our hands while they were about it?"
- Alexis Petridis (Pop and Rock critic)
"The female body is a masterpiece. Everyone likes to look at the female body, especially in dynamic, athletic sport." - Natalie Cook
"Of course it is an amazing feeling to represent your country and I hope there will be many more occasions to come, because I really love the tune of our national anthem."
- Sandra Raluca Izbasa
"About a year ago I was not sure I would be alive. It's winning just being here, speaking to you guys."
- Petr Koukal
"Sometimes it's just the beer and bikinis that get people to come to watch, but it's the competition that's keeping them there."
- Kerri Walsh Jennings
"We've won The Olympics"
- Katherine Copeland
And that's it. The best (and worst) moments from The Olympic Games 2012. Well done London, well done to all the athletes, organisers and volunteers (my cousin and his wife being 2 of them). It was an amazing Olympic games.
Saturday 28 July 2012
Get rid of the guns.
A few years ago I was working in a certain retail store. I remember one particular shift when I was absolutely exhausted and it was one of those work places where it was just a few people of the many staff there who carried the store. A LOT of lazy staff who weren't needed would walk about with clipboards or notepads trying their damned hardest to look professional whilst actually not doing anything useful.
Anyway, on that day, I had done a stupid amount of hours already and at the time, I had 2 jobs and was working crazy hours during the whole week I remember that I was at my evening job too later and really wanted to just sleep forever.
A customer came to the counter. The store was busy and I was dead on my feet. The customer had a watch he wanted to return. No box. No receipt. No proof of purchase whatsoever. When I politely, repeatedly, for about 20 minutes told this customer that we couldn't do a refund as he had no proof of purchase, he argued a lot with me demanding for what he said was his. He then threatened to shoot me with "the gun in his pocket" and then went around the store showing apparently what was a gun to the other customers who seemed to get frightened. Did this bozo really actually have a gun? I wasn't sure. I radioed to our security guard who informed me that he "was on his way". The security guard was about 247 years old so him being on his way from wherever he was (outside smoking) would take at least 2 weeks. So I decided to ring the police who probably would have taken just as long anyway. But before I could, the customer advanced towards me. He was a big, brutish oaf with a slightly unbalanced walk due to him being overweight and also had drool coming down from his mouth to his double chin. "You gonna give me back my money or do you want a bullet in your face". Defiant, stubborn, stupid (whatever you want to call it) and me being the completely opposite to big, brutish oaf-like overweight and completely drool-less and double-chinless , it wasn't easy for me to clear my throat and reply "No proof of purchase, no refund. If you're going to shoot me then do it. I've had a long week."
The brute, who now had his hand in his inside pocket which from the look of it, definitely had SOMETHING in it, glared at me for about 30 seconds but it actually seemed like 3 hours. Then he grabbed the box-less, receipt-less watch from the counter and stormed out of the store.
The security guard then decided to spring into action and came out of nowhere demanding to know where this brute was.
"He left 5 minutes ago." I said.
"I would have showed him." said the security guard.
Of course you would have.
It was only after the incident happened when some customers from outside the store came rushing in to say that they had seen a man with a gun. The managers after hearing what had happened came out of their hibernation to see if I was OK. Not really sure what they were doing whilst the incident was happening. "He could have shot you", "What if he shot you?" "Did he really have a gun?" were things mostly said to me then. And also I got a "Next time, do whatever he wants." My shift had finished and I just wanted to go home-oh but wait, I had to go to my other job where I got more of the same. I couldn't explain to people that if I wasn't so tired, then I would have been scared. But I was alive then. That was the main thing.
Recently some dickhead shot dead 12 people and wounded 58 others in a mass shooting outside a cinema in Colorado which was showing the new Batman film. He claimed he was "The Joker" but then also said that he "doesn't remember anything and doesn't understand why he is in prison." Strangely, he used to study neuroscience.
Anyway, he spent $15,000 which is about £9500 on guns and ammunition. He bought them online.
How fucked up is it that you can buy GUNS and AMMUNITION online?? I couldn't even believe it when I had heard that. I know you can buy just about ANYTHING online but surely there should be some kind of thing to see what is going to what kind of person it is that is buying??
In a world where a 30 year old like me sometimes gets asked for I.D when I go to buy a bottle of wine, for someone can go online and purchase guns so freely and so easily to kill people is sickening. Didn't the online stores where he bought them for even question what he needed them for? What he needed ALL THAT MUCH of it for?
To cause harm and kill people and nothing else.
Why are guns even available to buy in places like The United States of America? Countless times, some maniac has been on a mass killing spree shooting people in schools, colleges and now at a cinema. Yet all that happens is the same thing that happens every time. The police will say how sorry they are for the families and friends of the victims, The President will talk some BOLLOCKS about how "in times like these people need to come together" and some other crap about "the human spirit triumphing above adversity". Just because people like to hear about that kind of shit.
But that shit isn't good enough anymore. Too many people-innocent people-have died but nothing really gets done about it.
What would happen if ALL firearms were banned? Or better still, as well as being banned, stopped being produced in the first place. Oh but then too much money is spent on firearms and money still has to be made so I guess that is out of the question. Money is more important than innocent lives so it seems.
To me, when things like this happen (and they will happen again and again) people who are supposed to be strong and powerful like The President, just end up looking weak and pathetic.
Get rid of the guns. I might have made the choice to be defiant, stubborn and stupid but there are a lot of innocent people out there who don't even get a chance to make a decision before they are killed and it is such a waste of life. Not to mention the pain, suffering and helplessness their family and friends have to go through.
It is not right.
Anyway, on that day, I had done a stupid amount of hours already and at the time, I had 2 jobs and was working crazy hours during the whole week I remember that I was at my evening job too later and really wanted to just sleep forever.
A customer came to the counter. The store was busy and I was dead on my feet. The customer had a watch he wanted to return. No box. No receipt. No proof of purchase whatsoever. When I politely, repeatedly, for about 20 minutes told this customer that we couldn't do a refund as he had no proof of purchase, he argued a lot with me demanding for what he said was his. He then threatened to shoot me with "the gun in his pocket" and then went around the store showing apparently what was a gun to the other customers who seemed to get frightened. Did this bozo really actually have a gun? I wasn't sure. I radioed to our security guard who informed me that he "was on his way". The security guard was about 247 years old so him being on his way from wherever he was (outside smoking) would take at least 2 weeks. So I decided to ring the police who probably would have taken just as long anyway. But before I could, the customer advanced towards me. He was a big, brutish oaf with a slightly unbalanced walk due to him being overweight and also had drool coming down from his mouth to his double chin. "You gonna give me back my money or do you want a bullet in your face". Defiant, stubborn, stupid (whatever you want to call it) and me being the completely opposite to big, brutish oaf-like overweight and completely drool-less and double-chinless , it wasn't easy for me to clear my throat and reply "No proof of purchase, no refund. If you're going to shoot me then do it. I've had a long week."
The brute, who now had his hand in his inside pocket which from the look of it, definitely had SOMETHING in it, glared at me for about 30 seconds but it actually seemed like 3 hours. Then he grabbed the box-less, receipt-less watch from the counter and stormed out of the store.
The security guard then decided to spring into action and came out of nowhere demanding to know where this brute was.
"He left 5 minutes ago." I said.
"I would have showed him." said the security guard.
Of course you would have.
It was only after the incident happened when some customers from outside the store came rushing in to say that they had seen a man with a gun. The managers after hearing what had happened came out of their hibernation to see if I was OK. Not really sure what they were doing whilst the incident was happening. "He could have shot you", "What if he shot you?" "Did he really have a gun?" were things mostly said to me then. And also I got a "Next time, do whatever he wants." My shift had finished and I just wanted to go home-oh but wait, I had to go to my other job where I got more of the same. I couldn't explain to people that if I wasn't so tired, then I would have been scared. But I was alive then. That was the main thing.
Recently some dickhead shot dead 12 people and wounded 58 others in a mass shooting outside a cinema in Colorado which was showing the new Batman film. He claimed he was "The Joker" but then also said that he "doesn't remember anything and doesn't understand why he is in prison." Strangely, he used to study neuroscience.
Anyway, he spent $15,000 which is about £9500 on guns and ammunition. He bought them online.
How fucked up is it that you can buy GUNS and AMMUNITION online?? I couldn't even believe it when I had heard that. I know you can buy just about ANYTHING online but surely there should be some kind of thing to see what is going to what kind of person it is that is buying??
In a world where a 30 year old like me sometimes gets asked for I.D when I go to buy a bottle of wine, for someone can go online and purchase guns so freely and so easily to kill people is sickening. Didn't the online stores where he bought them for even question what he needed them for? What he needed ALL THAT MUCH of it for?
To cause harm and kill people and nothing else.
Why are guns even available to buy in places like The United States of America? Countless times, some maniac has been on a mass killing spree shooting people in schools, colleges and now at a cinema. Yet all that happens is the same thing that happens every time. The police will say how sorry they are for the families and friends of the victims, The President will talk some BOLLOCKS about how "in times like these people need to come together" and some other crap about "the human spirit triumphing above adversity". Just because people like to hear about that kind of shit.
But that shit isn't good enough anymore. Too many people-innocent people-have died but nothing really gets done about it.
What would happen if ALL firearms were banned? Or better still, as well as being banned, stopped being produced in the first place. Oh but then too much money is spent on firearms and money still has to be made so I guess that is out of the question. Money is more important than innocent lives so it seems.
To me, when things like this happen (and they will happen again and again) people who are supposed to be strong and powerful like The President, just end up looking weak and pathetic.
Get rid of the guns. I might have made the choice to be defiant, stubborn and stupid but there are a lot of innocent people out there who don't even get a chance to make a decision before they are killed and it is such a waste of life. Not to mention the pain, suffering and helplessness their family and friends have to go through.
It is not right.
Tuesday 26 June 2012
Am I dead?
It might be a strange question to ask.
But I have been thinking for about a month now about how very out of touch with the world and out of touch with people I am.
Unlike a lot of people around me, I don't have a Facebook account. I don't watch shit reality TV (watch this space for a post on that) which is actually most TV these days, I have no idea what is new in music, I didn't even know until a week ago that there are actually 3 Transformers movies. How the hell they made 3 is just beyond me after I somehow managed to get through watching the first one and wrote about it in this blog post:-
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7817154262617981257#editor/target=post;postID=280470456344617613
It wasn't worth anymore words.
Out of curiosity, last week I looked at the top ten of "The worlds' sexiest women" from a certain magazine (I actually looked at the results online). I didn't even recognise the woman at number 1. I had to read up about her. The questions I then asked myself were-Who? Why? and also How? The answer was the same to all 3 questions-I don't know. For those that read this who don't know who is number one and out of their own curiosity after reading this now want to know, trust me-don't waste your time. Others in the top 10 were disgusting, grotesque women. It shouldn't be called "The worlds' sexiest women" but instead, it should be called:-
"The worlds' most attention seeking hookers who are in the public eye the most and are actual full blown sluts".
Women like Rhianna (who looks like a starved Ethiopian boy-no offence to starved Ethiopian boys or any Ethiopians for that matter-), Katy Perry (who I have never seen the big deal about as she just looks like a huge chunk of lard) and Cheryl Cole (apparently the nations' sweetheart even though she beat up someone in a nightclub toilet).
Anyway, the point being that most of the women in the top 10, I didn't even recognise. Weird. Yet Everyone adores these women. And I don't understand it.
Manchester City winning the premier league title. That is messed up on so many levels. I keep thinking did it really even happen? Yes it did happen. Weird. And so was the way it happened.
My point to all this is that a lot of things are happening which I can't seem to grasp or fathom. I can't seem to make sense of. All that is written above is just my strange way of saying that. Of trying to put it all into words.
EVERYONE around me is going through life. Living life. Having kids, getting married, progressing in their careers, moving home, moving ABROAD. I feel like I am stuck in time. Watching everyone live a life and for some reason, can't seem to move forward. When I try to move forward, I just end up back in the same place. It is really difficult to explain. There is no progress and there doesn't seem to be any purpose either anymore.
I know I have wrote before about how maybe the world has ended and we are already in Hell. But what I didn't talk about enough was that Hell isn't a place with burning coal and being prodded by the devil with a red hot poking device. Just like Heaven isn't a place where everyone is dressed in white and playing the harp. What if hell is just to not live. And heaven is to live? The problem is, I just don't feel alive. Empty. Invisible. Non existent. Pointless.
I recently finished watching the AMAZING TV show that was called "Lost". It was actually the 2nd time round that I had watched it and I am so glad that I did. It is just absolutely incredible. Very thought provoking, amazing characters, brilliant script writing, the religious paradoxes, the exploration of ideas with time travel, the Egyptian mythology used, the thought that free will and fate are tied together. All amazing. I know some people couldn't handle Lost. I know that there were a lot of people who stopped watching it because they stopped understanding and there were also a lot of people who did watch it all but still didn't understand it. To those people, I would just like to say one word:-
Idiots.
Now if there is anyone who HASN'T seen Lost and wants to watch it then you probably should stop reading now as it will spoil it. I better put it anyway-MAJOR SPOILER ALERT-
So right at the end of Lost, we as the viewers find out that everyone is dead. But that is only right at the end when Jack talks to his father in the sideways universe. The plane still crashed, the bomb had still gone off etc. Everything did happen. What we don't know is that how long each of them had lived for. For example, Hurley became protector of the island when Jack died (on the island) and Hurley could have lived for many many years before somehow connecting with the sideways universe. Libby who was voluntarily in a mental institute because she thought her memories from the island were irrational having not realised that they had actually happened. It was only when she physically touched Hurley who then remembered it all himself and then confirmed to Libby that she wasn't crazy. In the sideways universe, all the characters it seemed needed to find their loved ones before they could move on. On the island, all the characters needed to come to terms with who they are and do what they want before they would die on the island. For example, Charlie kicked his drug habit, Mr Ecko came to terms with his life and didn't confess anything as he thought what he did was right and then he died and right throughout the whole series when Jack just wanted everyone to get Kate off the island. He does it and then he dies (on the island). In the sideways universe, it was Desmond that got a lot of them together, however some could say that no matter what, they would cross paths because they were MEANT to be together anyway. The consciousness was linked from the island to the sideways universe but then needed the physical touch to be able to remember which made for some beautiful scenes in the final episodes.
Anyway, my point to all this is that what if right now, with not just me, but other people too are in some kind of sideways universe and I am just "living" some life when I should be facing up to myself and getting ready to "move on". What if my own consciousness was linked to somewhere else but I haven't yet realised it. Far fetched and insane? Yes. Should I voluntarily go to a mental institute? Maybe. The only difference to me making that connection and to what happened in Lost is that all the characters in the sideways universe had created something that they had always wanted. Jack had a great relationship with his son, Kate had stopped running as she got caught, Sawyer became a cop and he really wanted all along was justice. Even Sayid was protecting Nadia as all he had ever wanted was for her to be safe but even in the sideways universe he didn't have Nadia as he was MEANT to be with Shannon. They all had lives they had wanted whereas with me, I have NOT got the life I want but can you imagine if there was a subconscious link to something amazing which I just hadn't connected with yet? The same could be said for a lot of us. I am not saying that we have been on a plane and crashed on an island somewhere. But what if there was something out there that I hadn't come in connection with yet that could change my life for the better? Something that is MEANT to happen to me?
It's something to hope for because what else is there?
Thursday 7 June 2012
Recent quotes from famous people
I always read the newspaper as it is good knowing what is going on in the world and recently I have come across a few things that have been said by celebrities that I just had to write a post on. Here are some and my response to them. I thought I would be creative. The blue writings are the quotes I read, the red writings are my thoughts on them:-
Cheryl Cole on why she is here:
"I know now why I was put on this Earth. To be a mother."
So it's not to make shit music and beat up people in nightclub toilets? And in connection to that......
Rhianna on Cheryl Cole:
"Cheryl is hot. I would like to watch her work-preferably cleaning things on the floor."
I take it you have a single or an album coming out soon you stupid pathetic porn star?
Maria Sharapova on life:
"I mean, I'm bored with myself on a daily basis."
Maybe people are bored with you? You were cute when you won Wimbledon at 17 but even then you were an attention seeking brat. "Wah wah wah, look at me everybody, I want to ring my mummy and tell her I won, wah wah wah, ooohh I can't call her on my expensive cell as the signal isn't good, wah wah wah."
Screw you Sharapova. A lot of people would trade places with you even though you are an attention seeking brat.
Roy Hogson on why he didn't take Rio Ferdinand to Euro 2012:
"It's for football reasons."
No, it's because you don't have the balls to say
"I don't want to take you Rio because John Terry called your brother a racist name and it might affect how you are with him."
Well done to Roy no balls Hogson. And in connection to THAT:-
John Terry on kneeing an opposing player in the backside:-
"I was just defending myself. I am not the kind of person who does things like that intentionally."
How was that unintentional you idiot? About as "unintentional" as you cheating on your wife-who of course stayed with you-oh and that was while you won "Dad of the year". How sickening.
Oprah Winfrey on her rich life:-
"Anyone that tells you having your own private jet isn't amazing is lying to you."
You are overrated and shit Oprah. I COULD HOST A BETTER CHAT SHOW.
Megan Fox on her looks:-
"I'm clearly not ugly."
You clearly ARE ugly-not to mention a total idiot.
Victoria Beckham on gay men:-
"I love gay men. Inside me there is a gay man wanting to come out!"
You trying to tell us that you have a penis?
The Queen on the utter pointlessness of her Jubilee:-
"The events have been a humbling experience."
I know that you are the head of armed forces and the church of England and all that but in case you haven't noticed Queen, the country is in decline, the celebrations were hypocritical and the whole thing was a joke. People are kidding themselves if they truly deep down inside themselves think that we should celebrate. In my opinion, the only good thing about The Royal family is Pippa Middletons' backside which is strangely kind of poetic.
And there you are. I will probably be writing another part to this so watch this space.
Cheryl Cole on why she is here:
"I know now why I was put on this Earth. To be a mother."
So it's not to make shit music and beat up people in nightclub toilets? And in connection to that......
Rhianna on Cheryl Cole:
"Cheryl is hot. I would like to watch her work-preferably cleaning things on the floor."
I take it you have a single or an album coming out soon you stupid pathetic porn star?
Maria Sharapova on life:
"I mean, I'm bored with myself on a daily basis."
Maybe people are bored with you? You were cute when you won Wimbledon at 17 but even then you were an attention seeking brat. "Wah wah wah, look at me everybody, I want to ring my mummy and tell her I won, wah wah wah, ooohh I can't call her on my expensive cell as the signal isn't good, wah wah wah."
Screw you Sharapova. A lot of people would trade places with you even though you are an attention seeking brat.
Roy Hogson on why he didn't take Rio Ferdinand to Euro 2012:
"It's for football reasons."
No, it's because you don't have the balls to say
"I don't want to take you Rio because John Terry called your brother a racist name and it might affect how you are with him."
Well done to Roy no balls Hogson. And in connection to THAT:-
John Terry on kneeing an opposing player in the backside:-
"I was just defending myself. I am not the kind of person who does things like that intentionally."
How was that unintentional you idiot? About as "unintentional" as you cheating on your wife-who of course stayed with you-oh and that was while you won "Dad of the year". How sickening.
Oprah Winfrey on her rich life:-
"Anyone that tells you having your own private jet isn't amazing is lying to you."
You are overrated and shit Oprah. I COULD HOST A BETTER CHAT SHOW.
Megan Fox on her looks:-
"I'm clearly not ugly."
You clearly ARE ugly-not to mention a total idiot.
Victoria Beckham on gay men:-
"I love gay men. Inside me there is a gay man wanting to come out!"
You trying to tell us that you have a penis?
The Queen on the utter pointlessness of her Jubilee:-
"The events have been a humbling experience."
I know that you are the head of armed forces and the church of England and all that but in case you haven't noticed Queen, the country is in decline, the celebrations were hypocritical and the whole thing was a joke. People are kidding themselves if they truly deep down inside themselves think that we should celebrate. In my opinion, the only good thing about The Royal family is Pippa Middletons' backside which is strangely kind of poetic.
And there you are. I will probably be writing another part to this so watch this space.
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Grooming gangs and stereotyping
I have been going to a newsagents that is near my house for as long as I can remember. It has actually expanded from a newsagents to a mini market now. The family who own this business are Indian-like me. Indian people tend to originate from India which is in Asia.
There is a Chinese fish and chips take away near me. Well actually, there are 4 near where I live, all about 5 minutes walk away. But I go to a particular one as it is really nice. Chinese people tend to originate from China which is in Asia.
About 8 miles form the town in which I live is a town called Rochdale. Recently, it was discovered that there were some absolutely horrific, disgusting grooming of underage girls by a gang who all but one were (the one being from Afghanistan)-Pakistanis. All of them were Muslims. I think there were 9 in that particular group who were abusing, grooming and raping underage girls for about 2 years now. Pakistani people tend to originate from Pakistan which is in Asia.
So if someone shouts "Those Asian bastards should be hung, drawn and quartered!" do the owners of the chippy, the newsagents and myself have a right to be annoyed? Or do we just put our heads down and go about our business KNOWING what they mean? But what do they mean? There are around 46 countries in Asia. I bet that the people that shout this kind of stuff couldn't even name half of them. A major problem was that in the newspapers, the words "Asian men" was said a numerous amount of times and with the ignorance of some people, this just doesn't help matters.
I understand how frustrated people can get when this kind of horrific stuff happens. Especially people who are friends and relatives of the victims. And with justice in this country being so shit, I would want them to be hung, drawn and quartered too. When I saw one of my bullies back in school repeatedly groping a girl and forcing himself on her, I was scared. I was too much of a coward at the time but the frustration in me was immense. In some sick way it was worse because I COULD have dome something. I am not like that now-If I was to see him do that again now, nevermind him being hung, drawn and quartered, I would rip his head off myself. If the victim was someone I knew then I don't even know what I would do.
A couple of years ago I served a customer in a shop I worked at. He said he had just gotten out of jail. When I asked why he had been in jail he said because he tied up and tortured someone who had abused an underage girl for 2 days straight.
The girls who had been abused in Rochdale were all white. It is most probably still going on. Even though that gang have been caught, I guarantee you that there are numerous other gangs all in that area. The police who were investigating these sick crimes actually had the nerve of coming out with "This isn't a cultural issue. Anyone could have been a victim of this gang. They weren't targeted just because they were white."
THAT is what a policeman said. What utter fucking bullshit.
The sick people in the gang were OF COURSE targeting young white girls. If they saw a young Pakistani girl, they would no way do this to her. This Pakistani gang were doing these sick, disgusting crimes because they felt like they had power over innocence. Over whites. Treating them like meat and passing them onto their own brothers/cousins for sex. They don't stop and think about how damaging it is. They also don't stop and think how they would feel if their own daughter was being treated like meat and used for sex by gangs.
The plain obvious facts are that this has been happening for years. That the men are mostly from the British-Pakistani community. That police and some people are afraid to say this because they are afraid of being branded racist. People are too afraid to actually get involved if it came down to actually seeing something that looked slightly dodgy. They would shout and curse about it later of course. But if they saw something that wasn't right-would they actually step in?
The following is a link I found which fits in nicely with what I am writing. Bear in mind that the date of this article is the 5th of January 2011. Over 16 months ago:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344218/Asian-sex-gangs-Culture-silence-allows-grooming-white-girls-fear-racist.html
If you read that, notice how this seems to have been a recurring issue. It has been going on for years. Also notice the word "Asian" in the link. I think that it seems that the word "Asian" is used because if the word "Pakistani" was used then there would be cries of racism. The word "Asian" is safer. Unfortunately, angry mobs don't understand that because you might be Asian, it doesn't make you a bad person. Ironically, these are the same kind of people who go to the chippy to get Chinese food, who go to the Indian mini market for some bread and milk.
I understand that child abuse happens everywhere, all over the world. It is horrific and it needs to be stopped. I think that punishment needs to be really severe. As severe as the actual abuse itself. When you hear about how things like this happen so close to home, it really does hit home.
There is a Chinese fish and chips take away near me. Well actually, there are 4 near where I live, all about 5 minutes walk away. But I go to a particular one as it is really nice. Chinese people tend to originate from China which is in Asia.
About 8 miles form the town in which I live is a town called Rochdale. Recently, it was discovered that there were some absolutely horrific, disgusting grooming of underage girls by a gang who all but one were (the one being from Afghanistan)-Pakistanis. All of them were Muslims. I think there were 9 in that particular group who were abusing, grooming and raping underage girls for about 2 years now. Pakistani people tend to originate from Pakistan which is in Asia.
So if someone shouts "Those Asian bastards should be hung, drawn and quartered!" do the owners of the chippy, the newsagents and myself have a right to be annoyed? Or do we just put our heads down and go about our business KNOWING what they mean? But what do they mean? There are around 46 countries in Asia. I bet that the people that shout this kind of stuff couldn't even name half of them. A major problem was that in the newspapers, the words "Asian men" was said a numerous amount of times and with the ignorance of some people, this just doesn't help matters.
I understand how frustrated people can get when this kind of horrific stuff happens. Especially people who are friends and relatives of the victims. And with justice in this country being so shit, I would want them to be hung, drawn and quartered too. When I saw one of my bullies back in school repeatedly groping a girl and forcing himself on her, I was scared. I was too much of a coward at the time but the frustration in me was immense. In some sick way it was worse because I COULD have dome something. I am not like that now-If I was to see him do that again now, nevermind him being hung, drawn and quartered, I would rip his head off myself. If the victim was someone I knew then I don't even know what I would do.
A couple of years ago I served a customer in a shop I worked at. He said he had just gotten out of jail. When I asked why he had been in jail he said because he tied up and tortured someone who had abused an underage girl for 2 days straight.
The girls who had been abused in Rochdale were all white. It is most probably still going on. Even though that gang have been caught, I guarantee you that there are numerous other gangs all in that area. The police who were investigating these sick crimes actually had the nerve of coming out with "This isn't a cultural issue. Anyone could have been a victim of this gang. They weren't targeted just because they were white."
THAT is what a policeman said. What utter fucking bullshit.
The sick people in the gang were OF COURSE targeting young white girls. If they saw a young Pakistani girl, they would no way do this to her. This Pakistani gang were doing these sick, disgusting crimes because they felt like they had power over innocence. Over whites. Treating them like meat and passing them onto their own brothers/cousins for sex. They don't stop and think about how damaging it is. They also don't stop and think how they would feel if their own daughter was being treated like meat and used for sex by gangs.
The plain obvious facts are that this has been happening for years. That the men are mostly from the British-Pakistani community. That police and some people are afraid to say this because they are afraid of being branded racist. People are too afraid to actually get involved if it came down to actually seeing something that looked slightly dodgy. They would shout and curse about it later of course. But if they saw something that wasn't right-would they actually step in?
The following is a link I found which fits in nicely with what I am writing. Bear in mind that the date of this article is the 5th of January 2011. Over 16 months ago:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344218/Asian-sex-gangs-Culture-silence-allows-grooming-white-girls-fear-racist.html
If you read that, notice how this seems to have been a recurring issue. It has been going on for years. Also notice the word "Asian" in the link. I think that it seems that the word "Asian" is used because if the word "Pakistani" was used then there would be cries of racism. The word "Asian" is safer. Unfortunately, angry mobs don't understand that because you might be Asian, it doesn't make you a bad person. Ironically, these are the same kind of people who go to the chippy to get Chinese food, who go to the Indian mini market for some bread and milk.
I understand that child abuse happens everywhere, all over the world. It is horrific and it needs to be stopped. I think that punishment needs to be really severe. As severe as the actual abuse itself. When you hear about how things like this happen so close to home, it really does hit home.
Friday 11 May 2012
How to get a girl to like you.
No offence to any females that may read this, but girls are just so strange and weird. I should probably say something along the lines of about 90% of girls that I have come across in my lifetime are strange and weird. Yes, that sounds less offensive.
Also to the regular readers of my blog and to anyone that knows me, you probably already know how this post is going to turn out. Apologies for anyone who may come across this who is really lonely, desperate and think that I may have the secret answers to their lifelong question and think that they might yet be saved. It's not going to happen. Or is it? Nevertheless, you should read on anyway:-
It's a known fact that a lot of girls like "Bad boys". Why? I don't know. There could be a lot of reasons. They like talking about their "relationship problems" to their friends- "Oh my boyfriend is so bad, but I know deep down inside we are meant to be together", "Oh my boyfriend hits me. He beats me so bad but I know that he really loves me", "My boyfriend cheated on me last night. I am so angry but I forgive him", "My boyfriend had sex with me. He cares about me so much but he hasn't called me in 6 weeks", "My boyfriend won't leave his wife/girlfriend for me". Etc.
These are just some of the things that have actually been said to me. If you're a guy that is reading this and you have heard comments like these from girls, do yourself a favour and stop listening to them. You might think that eventually, the girl that is constantly complaining about her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, about her husband, about her ex-husband and will eventually see the light and realise that YOU'RE the guy that is right for her. That YOU'RE the guy who will save her. That YOU'RE the guy who is the missing piece in her life-if you think she will realise this-SHE WON'T. You're not there for that. You're there to listen to her pathetic fucking rambling. Like I said, do yourself a favour and stop listening. Stop wasting your time otherwise you will hate yourself for being so stupid.
And as a girl once told me in college "Girls like bad boys because they are exciting". Why she just didn't go on more roller coasters instead of ruining her life I never did understand.
Also, as I have said somewhere on this blog before, I know that there are some girls who feel that they don't deserve happiness. Somewhere, deep down inside themselves, they do think this and they almost subconsciously go for the bad boy because they don't want to be happy. It sounds strange but there are girls out there like that.
So basically 90% of girls (that I have met but probably 90% of all girls ever) like absolute first class idiots. Some of the girls know full well that these guys are absolute first class idiots, some just kid themselves and live in the land of delusion and genuinely believe that they are nice as with the examples of comments said to me that I have used above. So if you are a guy and you are not a first class idiot, then you are already making life difficult for yourself. But for those who are thinking "Yes, you are right, I am now going to act like a first class idiot". Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You have to not act like an idiot, you have to BE the idiot. You have to have the nastiness in your blood from the start. Behaving like an idiot will just make you look stupid. But BEING the nasty horrible idiot and boy, then you will get the ladies. Forget opening doors for them, forget pulling a chair from under the table for them to sit down at the restaurant on. Forget the whole "ladies first" and "being a gentleman" shit. This doesn't work. We are not in the 1940s anymore.
Another way to get a girl to like you is to get a girlfriend. For example, if you are after, or have been after a certain girl for a long time and she hasn't taken the slightest bit of notice of you, it is almost guaranteed that if you have a girlfriend (no matter who it is), they will then start to take notice. The very few times in my life when I have actually had a girlfriend, the response from ladies then wanting me was actually overwhelming. Either that or I was just wearing the right aftershave at the time. And it has been that long that I wouldn't even be able to remember what aftershave it was that I was actually using.
I don't know why this is. I don't know if it is the competitiveness in peoples' nature to want someone who is already taken and then feel better when you do get that someone as then that would make that person then "one that won" or is it possible that when someone is already taken, they are just simply more desirable for whatever reason? And for the person who does have someone, is it because when you do have someone, that you automatically have the attitude of not being arsed as you already are taken and then you can do and behave how you choose which makes you irresistible? Who knows? Fuck knows. But I also have to say that sometimes it is almost as if when people cheat, they feel good about themselves in some sick way.
Talking of not being arsed, this is actually a great way to get a girl. Say if you liked a girl for ages and she knew full well about it and then all of a sudden you would suddenly become not bothered about her and you stopped drooling over her and glaring at her and wishing she was yours and you stopped losing sleep over her etc-if you stopped all this then saw her after you just didn't care anymore, she would be sure to be something on the lines of like "Why isn't he glaring at me anymore? Why isn't he drooling? Don't I look good today? Has he gone off me? Why has he gone off me? Have I put on weight?" And so on and so on.
Money. If you have money, you will get girls. It is that simple. I don't mean a full time wage. I mean that you have to be rich. And I know some people might be thinking "But what kind of girls would you be attracting with just money?"
My answer to that is-good ones. I'm not just talking about models, film stars etc. But just good girls in general. If you were rich enough, the girls wouldn't have to work and could just go around all day spending your money on handbags and shoes. Shallow ones yes, but aren't most people shallow to some degree anyway? I know a LOT of people say "I look for personality in a person". But if you're in a bar, a park, on a dating website even or ANYWHERE, you are first attracted to looks NOT personality. You think to yourself "She looks nice, I wouldn't mind getting to know her" and THEN you approach her. Nobody is ever in a bar and says "She has a nice personality" because how would you know without talking to her and if it is someone you don't know, you go to the attractive looking ones, not the ones who are sat on the walls eating cheeseburgers. If one one side of the room, you saw beautiful looking girl sipping a glass of red wine and then on the other side of the room you saw a fat gross girl who looked horrendous eating a cheeseburger, you would of course prefer to want to talk to the nice red wine girl. You'd probably have more of a chance talking to the cheeseburger girl though but if you had preference, you would obviously go for the nicer looking one. Is this classed as shallow?
Anyway, back to the point. To get a girl, you don't have to be good looking-you have to just be rich. You don't have to be nice-but you have to be nasty and you don't have to be bothered about her-you have to not be arsed!
I know that there are some guys out there who aren't rich but have gorgeous girlfriends-they are probably the same type of guys who cheat on them etc. So I guess having one or two of the traits above would do.
Also to the regular readers of my blog and to anyone that knows me, you probably already know how this post is going to turn out. Apologies for anyone who may come across this who is really lonely, desperate and think that I may have the secret answers to their lifelong question and think that they might yet be saved. It's not going to happen. Or is it? Nevertheless, you should read on anyway:-
It's a known fact that a lot of girls like "Bad boys". Why? I don't know. There could be a lot of reasons. They like talking about their "relationship problems" to their friends- "Oh my boyfriend is so bad, but I know deep down inside we are meant to be together", "Oh my boyfriend hits me. He beats me so bad but I know that he really loves me", "My boyfriend cheated on me last night. I am so angry but I forgive him", "My boyfriend had sex with me. He cares about me so much but he hasn't called me in 6 weeks", "My boyfriend won't leave his wife/girlfriend for me". Etc.
These are just some of the things that have actually been said to me. If you're a guy that is reading this and you have heard comments like these from girls, do yourself a favour and stop listening to them. You might think that eventually, the girl that is constantly complaining about her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, about her husband, about her ex-husband and will eventually see the light and realise that YOU'RE the guy that is right for her. That YOU'RE the guy who will save her. That YOU'RE the guy who is the missing piece in her life-if you think she will realise this-SHE WON'T. You're not there for that. You're there to listen to her pathetic fucking rambling. Like I said, do yourself a favour and stop listening. Stop wasting your time otherwise you will hate yourself for being so stupid.
And as a girl once told me in college "Girls like bad boys because they are exciting". Why she just didn't go on more roller coasters instead of ruining her life I never did understand.
Also, as I have said somewhere on this blog before, I know that there are some girls who feel that they don't deserve happiness. Somewhere, deep down inside themselves, they do think this and they almost subconsciously go for the bad boy because they don't want to be happy. It sounds strange but there are girls out there like that.
So basically 90% of girls (that I have met but probably 90% of all girls ever) like absolute first class idiots. Some of the girls know full well that these guys are absolute first class idiots, some just kid themselves and live in the land of delusion and genuinely believe that they are nice as with the examples of comments said to me that I have used above. So if you are a guy and you are not a first class idiot, then you are already making life difficult for yourself. But for those who are thinking "Yes, you are right, I am now going to act like a first class idiot". Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You have to not act like an idiot, you have to BE the idiot. You have to have the nastiness in your blood from the start. Behaving like an idiot will just make you look stupid. But BEING the nasty horrible idiot and boy, then you will get the ladies. Forget opening doors for them, forget pulling a chair from under the table for them to sit down at the restaurant on. Forget the whole "ladies first" and "being a gentleman" shit. This doesn't work. We are not in the 1940s anymore.
Another way to get a girl to like you is to get a girlfriend. For example, if you are after, or have been after a certain girl for a long time and she hasn't taken the slightest bit of notice of you, it is almost guaranteed that if you have a girlfriend (no matter who it is), they will then start to take notice. The very few times in my life when I have actually had a girlfriend, the response from ladies then wanting me was actually overwhelming. Either that or I was just wearing the right aftershave at the time. And it has been that long that I wouldn't even be able to remember what aftershave it was that I was actually using.
I don't know why this is. I don't know if it is the competitiveness in peoples' nature to want someone who is already taken and then feel better when you do get that someone as then that would make that person then "one that won" or is it possible that when someone is already taken, they are just simply more desirable for whatever reason? And for the person who does have someone, is it because when you do have someone, that you automatically have the attitude of not being arsed as you already are taken and then you can do and behave how you choose which makes you irresistible? Who knows? Fuck knows. But I also have to say that sometimes it is almost as if when people cheat, they feel good about themselves in some sick way.
Talking of not being arsed, this is actually a great way to get a girl. Say if you liked a girl for ages and she knew full well about it and then all of a sudden you would suddenly become not bothered about her and you stopped drooling over her and glaring at her and wishing she was yours and you stopped losing sleep over her etc-if you stopped all this then saw her after you just didn't care anymore, she would be sure to be something on the lines of like "Why isn't he glaring at me anymore? Why isn't he drooling? Don't I look good today? Has he gone off me? Why has he gone off me? Have I put on weight?" And so on and so on.
Money. If you have money, you will get girls. It is that simple. I don't mean a full time wage. I mean that you have to be rich. And I know some people might be thinking "But what kind of girls would you be attracting with just money?"
My answer to that is-good ones. I'm not just talking about models, film stars etc. But just good girls in general. If you were rich enough, the girls wouldn't have to work and could just go around all day spending your money on handbags and shoes. Shallow ones yes, but aren't most people shallow to some degree anyway? I know a LOT of people say "I look for personality in a person". But if you're in a bar, a park, on a dating website even or ANYWHERE, you are first attracted to looks NOT personality. You think to yourself "She looks nice, I wouldn't mind getting to know her" and THEN you approach her. Nobody is ever in a bar and says "She has a nice personality" because how would you know without talking to her and if it is someone you don't know, you go to the attractive looking ones, not the ones who are sat on the walls eating cheeseburgers. If one one side of the room, you saw beautiful looking girl sipping a glass of red wine and then on the other side of the room you saw a fat gross girl who looked horrendous eating a cheeseburger, you would of course prefer to want to talk to the nice red wine girl. You'd probably have more of a chance talking to the cheeseburger girl though but if you had preference, you would obviously go for the nicer looking one. Is this classed as shallow?
Anyway, back to the point. To get a girl, you don't have to be good looking-you have to just be rich. You don't have to be nice-but you have to be nasty and you don't have to be bothered about her-you have to not be arsed!
I know that there are some guys out there who aren't rich but have gorgeous girlfriends-they are probably the same type of guys who cheat on them etc. So I guess having one or two of the traits above would do.
Saturday 21 April 2012
Identity Crisis
About 9 years ago, someone who was in my class at college said to me "Mukesh, I think what you need to do is to find yourself. You need to find yourself Mukesh." He then went on to say "I am really good at giving advice". So I asked him. "If I need to find myself, how would I go about doing it?" He replied "I don't know. Maybe go on holiday".
Thanks.
So after a lot of jobs, after meeting a lot of people-some of them amazing, some of them fucking idiots-what now? I am in the same place that I was 9 years ago when I left college. Actually, no I am not in the same place-there are a few things that are different. I am older, I have more knowledge of a lot of things including how horrible and vile people can be (even though I was bullied all the way back in school-I have discovered that there are a lot more different ways to be horrible and vile), also a knowledge that not everyone in the world is bad and that there are a few people in the world who are truly inspiring. That is always good to know. I've had lot of work experience. But apart from all that, I am in the same place. At home. With my parents but worse, in debt and also putting myself under a hell of a lot of pressure to try and do something with my life. Feeling stressed more so then I was 9 years ago. Not good.
I've been a drama student, a shop assistant, a barman, a supervisor, a receptionist, a loner, a gambler, a loser, an underachiever. So the question I find that I am constantly asking myself isn't "What am I going to do now?"
But it's "Who am I?"
65 days earlier when I lost my job, I thought it would give me some kind of opportunity to "find myself" as some idiot once told me to do. Oh but wait, I can't go on holiday as I have no money and my passport is out of date. Are there any other ways I could "find myself"? Currently, I just feel insignificant. Pointless. Someone actually asked me today "What do you do now?" Even though I have said it's not what I do but who I am that is more important, I was still a bit affected, annoyed, not happy when I had to reply "Nothing."
I've never understood the whole concept of "plodding along". People keep saying it. Why would you just want to "plod along" and not be someone in life? How can people be content with this?
I guess that a lot of people these days really don't care about that kind of stuff. As long as they don't miss their awful soaps or their terrible "reality" TV shows then they are happy. What a weird way to live life. I really hope one day soon, TV would just stop existing. For about a year at least. But saying that, recently, I am only happy when I am in a pub. With drink. With friends. Or when I am inspired to play my guitar. I guess it's each to their own. Whatever makes you happy makes you happy. Regardless of how pathetic it might seem.
At the minute, I don't know what I am going to do and I am scared that life will just pass me by and I will soon be dead. I keep thinking about the few moments before death and how disappointed I would feel with myself.
So who am I? I don't know. The search for myself continues.
Thanks.
So after a lot of jobs, after meeting a lot of people-some of them amazing, some of them fucking idiots-what now? I am in the same place that I was 9 years ago when I left college. Actually, no I am not in the same place-there are a few things that are different. I am older, I have more knowledge of a lot of things including how horrible and vile people can be (even though I was bullied all the way back in school-I have discovered that there are a lot more different ways to be horrible and vile), also a knowledge that not everyone in the world is bad and that there are a few people in the world who are truly inspiring. That is always good to know. I've had lot of work experience. But apart from all that, I am in the same place. At home. With my parents but worse, in debt and also putting myself under a hell of a lot of pressure to try and do something with my life. Feeling stressed more so then I was 9 years ago. Not good.
I've been a drama student, a shop assistant, a barman, a supervisor, a receptionist, a loner, a gambler, a loser, an underachiever. So the question I find that I am constantly asking myself isn't "What am I going to do now?"
But it's "Who am I?"
65 days earlier when I lost my job, I thought it would give me some kind of opportunity to "find myself" as some idiot once told me to do. Oh but wait, I can't go on holiday as I have no money and my passport is out of date. Are there any other ways I could "find myself"? Currently, I just feel insignificant. Pointless. Someone actually asked me today "What do you do now?" Even though I have said it's not what I do but who I am that is more important, I was still a bit affected, annoyed, not happy when I had to reply "Nothing."
I've never understood the whole concept of "plodding along". People keep saying it. Why would you just want to "plod along" and not be someone in life? How can people be content with this?
I guess that a lot of people these days really don't care about that kind of stuff. As long as they don't miss their awful soaps or their terrible "reality" TV shows then they are happy. What a weird way to live life. I really hope one day soon, TV would just stop existing. For about a year at least. But saying that, recently, I am only happy when I am in a pub. With drink. With friends. Or when I am inspired to play my guitar. I guess it's each to their own. Whatever makes you happy makes you happy. Regardless of how pathetic it might seem.
At the minute, I don't know what I am going to do and I am scared that life will just pass me by and I will soon be dead. I keep thinking about the few moments before death and how disappointed I would feel with myself.
So who am I? I don't know. The search for myself continues.
Monday 9 April 2012
Nicknames
Just a quick lighthearted post before my next serious one. I'm not really used to lightheartedness but it has to be done sometimes I guess:-
I have had quite a few jobs during my life. I know that most people hate working and would love it if they won the lottery so they wouldn't have to ever work again. I wish the same. But I don't help myself in that respect by not doing the lottery. I am going to start doing the lottery.
Anyway, most people get through their working day by thinking about what they might have to come home to. A beautiful partner. Beautiful children. Saving up for a beautiful holiday. A beautiful car. A beautiful house. Currently I don't have a job and a lot of my last few wages went towards paying debt off. Still some way to go but now I have no money coming in. What to do? I will keep you posted on that in another post. Anyway, I didn't have and still don't have anything beautiful. By beautiful, I mean something that motivates me and actually makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. But back to the point-Nicknames.
The majority of people will tell you that their bosses are horrible. That they are evil, can't do their jobs properly and a lot of people also say "I could manage this place better" Could you really?
Recently, my last job, my manager was evil. She stole, treated people like crap and was the most conniving, manipulative and horrid person I have ever met in my whole life. I haven't hated anyone since when I was bullied at school. I used to call her "The Goblin" and the following is a definition from Wikipedia of what a goblin is:-
A goblin is a legendary evil or mischievous creature; a grotesquely evil or evil-like phantom.
Apart from the "legendary" bit-it is all true.
Not just managers but a lot of people I have worked with in my various jobs, I nicknamed. Just for personal amusement. It helped me get through the working day especially when I was in with people I didn't like. Here is a list in no particular order with their meanings too (I am thoughtful like that):-
The Diseased Horse (A horse with awide range of sexual transmitted infections)
Goldilocks (A male with long blonde hair)
The Chunk (Large lady pointless sweaty woman)
Semi Chunk (See above-but to a lesser extent)
The Beast Of Ancoats Moor (Another large lady-very backward)
The Sewer Rat (Dirty, horrid, vile gimp)
Mr Personality (Dingbat that had the personality of a snail)
Miss Personality (Dingbelle that had the personality of a snail)
The Loch Ness Monster (A big loud Scottish woman)
The Lard Machine (Large man who exported and distributed lard)
The Escaped Convict (Idiot who escaped from jail to work in a warehouse)
The White Witch (Conniving, deceitful and a first class fucking bitch)
The Orange Stain (A useless fake tanned idiot)
The Hooker (She also had more facial hair than me)
So there you go. It's just one of those things I do. I don't mean to give out nicknames, but the looks, actions general horribleness of some people I have had to work with makes me bring out my dis-likeness towards them in a very creative way. It's great when my other work colleagues start to refer to them by the nicknames I have given them too. That's when you know you've made it.
I have had quite a few jobs during my life. I know that most people hate working and would love it if they won the lottery so they wouldn't have to ever work again. I wish the same. But I don't help myself in that respect by not doing the lottery. I am going to start doing the lottery.
Anyway, most people get through their working day by thinking about what they might have to come home to. A beautiful partner. Beautiful children. Saving up for a beautiful holiday. A beautiful car. A beautiful house. Currently I don't have a job and a lot of my last few wages went towards paying debt off. Still some way to go but now I have no money coming in. What to do? I will keep you posted on that in another post. Anyway, I didn't have and still don't have anything beautiful. By beautiful, I mean something that motivates me and actually makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. But back to the point-Nicknames.
The majority of people will tell you that their bosses are horrible. That they are evil, can't do their jobs properly and a lot of people also say "I could manage this place better" Could you really?
Recently, my last job, my manager was evil. She stole, treated people like crap and was the most conniving, manipulative and horrid person I have ever met in my whole life. I haven't hated anyone since when I was bullied at school. I used to call her "The Goblin" and the following is a definition from Wikipedia of what a goblin is:-
A goblin is a legendary evil or mischievous creature; a grotesquely evil or evil-like phantom.
Apart from the "legendary" bit-it is all true.
Not just managers but a lot of people I have worked with in my various jobs, I nicknamed. Just for personal amusement. It helped me get through the working day especially when I was in with people I didn't like. Here is a list in no particular order with their meanings too (I am thoughtful like that):-
The Trunchbull (Very much like her from Matilda)
The Diseased Horse (A horse with awide range of sexual transmitted infections)
Goldilocks (A male with long blonde hair)
The Chunk (Large lady pointless sweaty woman)
Semi Chunk (See above-but to a lesser extent)
The Beast Of Ancoats Moor (Another large lady-very backward)
The Sewer Rat (Dirty, horrid, vile gimp)
Mr Personality (Dingbat that had the personality of a snail)
Miss Personality (Dingbelle that had the personality of a snail)
The Loch Ness Monster (A big loud Scottish woman)
The Lard Machine (Large man who exported and distributed lard)
The Escaped Convict (Idiot who escaped from jail to work in a warehouse)
The White Witch (Conniving, deceitful and a first class fucking bitch)
The Orange Stain (A useless fake tanned idiot)
The Hooker (She also had more facial hair than me)
So there you go. It's just one of those things I do. I don't mean to give out nicknames, but the looks, actions general horribleness of some people I have had to work with makes me bring out my dis-likeness towards them in a very creative way. It's great when my other work colleagues start to refer to them by the nicknames I have given them too. That's when you know you've made it.
Thursday 5 April 2012
Performing Arts-Bulldozers just don't care.
The other day I walked past the college I went to for 5 years. The reason I was there for 5 years was because I originally tried to get straight onto the music course after school and I was so bad on guitar that the guy who I auditioned to ever so politely told me that I needed to do the course below it which was a year and it was a mixture of Drama, Music and Dance and that if I passed 2 of them, I could choose which course I would do for the next 2 years. I ended up choosing Drama instead of Music after this 1st year course as the music class was full of too many guitarists and after the first year my friend told me at the time that I was "The best actor" he had ever seen. When I asked him "What, the best actor EVER?" he replied "No, the best actor in Ashton-Under-Lyne." His point being that there aren't many actors in my town and it would be a wiser choice for me to do Drama than Music and I could always play my guitar as much as I want to at home and not have to be tied down to learning particular songs for music class with about 8 different guitarists. Anyway, I then did that 2 year course on Drama and was planning on going to university for 3 years to get my degree but a HND course opened and the plan was to arrange to do that course which was also 2 years and then as arranged with the university, I could then just do one year there as a top up on my HND to get my degree. After I and a few others finished our HND course and went to university, they then told us that they stopped doing "Top up" years and that we would have to do the whole course again. This was pointless as it would be 3 years and a lot of the people who were in university classes hadn't even studied Drama before and I had for 5 years. So after staying about 3 weeks, I decided to leave. More about my life on what happened on the next blog post but back to my point on this:-
The Performing Arts building isn't there anymore. After my last year the college decided to knock it down. I knew something like this was going to happen as ever other building in the college during my time there had been renovated and when the time came for ours to be done, they said that they didn't have enough money at the time and kept putting it off. I didn't think at the time that they were planning to knock down the building, I just thought that they didn't want to give our department any funding as they might have thought we were all a bunch of mad idiots. Why would you want to give mad idiots money?
I remember my last day in the college. It was strange. Surreal. The building and everyone in it were all just really flat. We did a monthly thing called "Studio Group," where everybody if they wanted to could get up on the stage and perform whatever it was they wanted. It was a great idea as it was an opportunity to try something different. Needless to say that I hardly ever took the opportunity. I think I was too scared of what people thought of me at the time or that I simply didn't have the balls. I think the same could be said for a lot of people there. The last performance in that studio group was some horrid temporary band that played Nirvanas' "Smells like teen spirit". It was a really bad performance but everyone decided to jump up and down towards the latter part of the song anyway. After it was all over, people left the building slowly knowing that it was going to be knocked down and then that would be the end. I don't know why, but I half expected that most people would be crying or something. Because of the emotional attachment and all that crap. A few people did but nothing major. I kind of half expected for people to strap themselves to the walls and tie themselves to the railings in protest. Hopefully the brave, selfless heroic students could save the building from those horrid evil machines that were going to destroy the place that was a second home. After about 10 minutes after the last ever performance, most people were in the pub.
I remember being one of the few people left after everyone had left. A couple of tutors were in the office and I decided to take a walk through the whole of the building. It was kind of eerie walking through a empty rooms that for some reason all seemed really different as if I was entering them for the first time, but knowing that it would be for the very last time.
I wanted to start from one end of the building and walk right through. The end room was always locked anyway. The bridge room. The recording studio. The music room. The room next to the Music room which hardly anyone went in. The Dance studio. The stairs. The computer room. The room next to the computer room which was held for written work which nobody cared about doing. Past the office. The green room. Then finally the Drama studio. I kept this last on purpose. Each room had a memory. The room with nothing important in so it was never used. The room where we had that psycho teacher in for one day where the students were afraid for their lives. The room where I recorded that horrible solo album which 28 people actually bought. The room where I learnt my first song on the guitar. The room where I secretly went to when I wanted peace and quiet. The room where I discovered that I couldn't move my body in rhythm to save my life. The room where I wouldn't do any research whatsoever but would instead go onto chat rooms and email. The room where creative writing classes ended up being held and I wrote so much but I was too scared to read anything out. The room where we got ready for performances a million times and finally, the room where I discovered that I was actually good at something but for some reason just couldn't give everything I had. At best I gave 50%. I never really understood why.
I am not sure why I chose to walk through the college that day. I think after my birthday a few days before where a few people who did performing arts at my college were there must have triggered that. I actually had my name in wet cement on the side of the building that isn't there anymore.
There were no heroics by me or anyone else to try and keep the building open. At the time, nobody seemed to care too much. I do kind of wish I had done something now.
The Performing Arts building isn't there anymore. After my last year the college decided to knock it down. I knew something like this was going to happen as ever other building in the college during my time there had been renovated and when the time came for ours to be done, they said that they didn't have enough money at the time and kept putting it off. I didn't think at the time that they were planning to knock down the building, I just thought that they didn't want to give our department any funding as they might have thought we were all a bunch of mad idiots. Why would you want to give mad idiots money?
I remember my last day in the college. It was strange. Surreal. The building and everyone in it were all just really flat. We did a monthly thing called "Studio Group," where everybody if they wanted to could get up on the stage and perform whatever it was they wanted. It was a great idea as it was an opportunity to try something different. Needless to say that I hardly ever took the opportunity. I think I was too scared of what people thought of me at the time or that I simply didn't have the balls. I think the same could be said for a lot of people there. The last performance in that studio group was some horrid temporary band that played Nirvanas' "Smells like teen spirit". It was a really bad performance but everyone decided to jump up and down towards the latter part of the song anyway. After it was all over, people left the building slowly knowing that it was going to be knocked down and then that would be the end. I don't know why, but I half expected that most people would be crying or something. Because of the emotional attachment and all that crap. A few people did but nothing major. I kind of half expected for people to strap themselves to the walls and tie themselves to the railings in protest. Hopefully the brave, selfless heroic students could save the building from those horrid evil machines that were going to destroy the place that was a second home. After about 10 minutes after the last ever performance, most people were in the pub.
I remember being one of the few people left after everyone had left. A couple of tutors were in the office and I decided to take a walk through the whole of the building. It was kind of eerie walking through a empty rooms that for some reason all seemed really different as if I was entering them for the first time, but knowing that it would be for the very last time.
I wanted to start from one end of the building and walk right through. The end room was always locked anyway. The bridge room. The recording studio. The music room. The room next to the Music room which hardly anyone went in. The Dance studio. The stairs. The computer room. The room next to the computer room which was held for written work which nobody cared about doing. Past the office. The green room. Then finally the Drama studio. I kept this last on purpose. Each room had a memory. The room with nothing important in so it was never used. The room where we had that psycho teacher in for one day where the students were afraid for their lives. The room where I recorded that horrible solo album which 28 people actually bought. The room where I learnt my first song on the guitar. The room where I secretly went to when I wanted peace and quiet. The room where I discovered that I couldn't move my body in rhythm to save my life. The room where I wouldn't do any research whatsoever but would instead go onto chat rooms and email. The room where creative writing classes ended up being held and I wrote so much but I was too scared to read anything out. The room where we got ready for performances a million times and finally, the room where I discovered that I was actually good at something but for some reason just couldn't give everything I had. At best I gave 50%. I never really understood why.
I am not sure why I chose to walk through the college that day. I think after my birthday a few days before where a few people who did performing arts at my college were there must have triggered that. I actually had my name in wet cement on the side of the building that isn't there anymore.
There were no heroics by me or anyone else to try and keep the building open. At the time, nobody seemed to care too much. I do kind of wish I had done something now.
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