Somebody loved me.

Of all the crazy things that have happened and are still happening in life, this is probably the strangest thing of them all. 

Somebody actually loved me. 

I'm a gargoyle. I lie. I am untrustworthy. I moan. I am negative. I am opinionated. I am a loser.

Anything really is possible. Even though the love doesn't exist anymore, it happened and it was amazing. 

A long time ago, one of my college tutors told me that I should take my own advice as I gave good advice. But for some reason, I just never take my own advice. 

I feel very empty. I get periods of crying but then nothing. Just really down. It is a very difficult thing to accept that I am not loved anymore. But I suppose it can be a very easy thing to take for granted too. But it happened. It may not happen ever again (maybe I don't ever want it to happen again).

But for some part of my life, it happened. 

It was there. It was real. It was lovely. It made life seem worthwile. 

And even though it is over, surely just the fact that somebody loved me once is enough to maybe keep getting through the days and to keep me going in life?

I do not celebrate Black History Month

Who is your favourite black person?

I was asked this today. 

Seeing as it's "Black History Month", people think about iconic "Black" people who have influenced the world. Obviously there is also this whole "Black Lives" bandwagon/movement currently going on too. 

I know that the world is already insane but it really is just going backwards. The world does need educating and there are some incredible people that can do that but it does not matter whether you are black or white or whatever colour! Black people aren't even black and white people aren't even white. 

The colours don't even match the description! A Raven is black. A Dove is white.

My problem with celebrating these events such as "Black History Month" and "Pride" and whatever else people want to talk about is the fact that every single time something is mentioned like this, you are ALREADY creating seperation. I wrote this six years ago:-

https://muksblogaboutstuff.blogspot.com/2014/01/equality-and-diversity-is-not-equality.html

Anyone can have a good or bad heart regardless of what they look like or what they believe in or who they follow. 

Talking about it, jumping on bandwagons about it, trying to make a big deal out of things about the differences in people is the very thing that is wrong. So now there are posters celebrating this event and people will look at these posters and think about "Black" people. Thus creating a sense of judging because of the colour of their skin. Its almost unbelievable that this is happening. I understand that there are so many horrible people in the world who of course do discriminate. there are some very ignorant people. But do celebrating these kind of events really change their views?

Personally I don't think so. I am a British Indian. I get called all sort of names, I have even been called a "Paki" and ironically I have been severely bullied by Pakistanis

Things like this are happening everyday to different extremes. Just recently I was told that "all white people are dirty, it's in their nature". This is offensive to me and I'm not even "white". 

People are people. Good and bad. Judging people should be based on this.