Tuesday, 26 June 2012
Am I dead?
It might be a strange question to ask.
But I have been thinking for about a month now about how very out of touch with the world and out of touch with people I am.
Unlike a lot of people around me, I don't have a Facebook account. I don't watch shit reality TV (watch this space for a post on that) which is actually most TV these days, I have no idea what is new in music, I didn't even know until a week ago that there are actually 3 Transformers movies. How the hell they made 3 is just beyond me after I somehow managed to get through watching the first one and wrote about it in this blog post:-
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7817154262617981257#editor/target=post;postID=280470456344617613
It wasn't worth anymore words.
Out of curiosity, last week I looked at the top ten of "The worlds' sexiest women" from a certain magazine (I actually looked at the results online). I didn't even recognise the woman at number 1. I had to read up about her. The questions I then asked myself were-Who? Why? and also How? The answer was the same to all 3 questions-I don't know. For those that read this who don't know who is number one and out of their own curiosity after reading this now want to know, trust me-don't waste your time. Others in the top 10 were disgusting, grotesque women. It shouldn't be called "The worlds' sexiest women" but instead, it should be called:-
"The worlds' most attention seeking hookers who are in the public eye the most and are actual full blown sluts".
Women like Rhianna (who looks like a starved Ethiopian boy-no offence to starved Ethiopian boys or any Ethiopians for that matter-), Katy Perry (who I have never seen the big deal about as she just looks like a huge chunk of lard) and Cheryl Cole (apparently the nations' sweetheart even though she beat up someone in a nightclub toilet).
Anyway, the point being that most of the women in the top 10, I didn't even recognise. Weird. Yet Everyone adores these women. And I don't understand it.
Manchester City winning the premier league title. That is messed up on so many levels. I keep thinking did it really even happen? Yes it did happen. Weird. And so was the way it happened.
My point to all this is that a lot of things are happening which I can't seem to grasp or fathom. I can't seem to make sense of. All that is written above is just my strange way of saying that. Of trying to put it all into words.
EVERYONE around me is going through life. Living life. Having kids, getting married, progressing in their careers, moving home, moving ABROAD. I feel like I am stuck in time. Watching everyone live a life and for some reason, can't seem to move forward. When I try to move forward, I just end up back in the same place. It is really difficult to explain. There is no progress and there doesn't seem to be any purpose either anymore.
I know I have wrote before about how maybe the world has ended and we are already in Hell. But what I didn't talk about enough was that Hell isn't a place with burning coal and being prodded by the devil with a red hot poking device. Just like Heaven isn't a place where everyone is dressed in white and playing the harp. What if hell is just to not live. And heaven is to live? The problem is, I just don't feel alive. Empty. Invisible. Non existent. Pointless.
I recently finished watching the AMAZING TV show that was called "Lost". It was actually the 2nd time round that I had watched it and I am so glad that I did. It is just absolutely incredible. Very thought provoking, amazing characters, brilliant script writing, the religious paradoxes, the exploration of ideas with time travel, the Egyptian mythology used, the thought that free will and fate are tied together. All amazing. I know some people couldn't handle Lost. I know that there were a lot of people who stopped watching it because they stopped understanding and there were also a lot of people who did watch it all but still didn't understand it. To those people, I would just like to say one word:-
Idiots.
Now if there is anyone who HASN'T seen Lost and wants to watch it then you probably should stop reading now as it will spoil it. I better put it anyway-MAJOR SPOILER ALERT-
So right at the end of Lost, we as the viewers find out that everyone is dead. But that is only right at the end when Jack talks to his father in the sideways universe. The plane still crashed, the bomb had still gone off etc. Everything did happen. What we don't know is that how long each of them had lived for. For example, Hurley became protector of the island when Jack died (on the island) and Hurley could have lived for many many years before somehow connecting with the sideways universe. Libby who was voluntarily in a mental institute because she thought her memories from the island were irrational having not realised that they had actually happened. It was only when she physically touched Hurley who then remembered it all himself and then confirmed to Libby that she wasn't crazy. In the sideways universe, all the characters it seemed needed to find their loved ones before they could move on. On the island, all the characters needed to come to terms with who they are and do what they want before they would die on the island. For example, Charlie kicked his drug habit, Mr Ecko came to terms with his life and didn't confess anything as he thought what he did was right and then he died and right throughout the whole series when Jack just wanted everyone to get Kate off the island. He does it and then he dies (on the island). In the sideways universe, it was Desmond that got a lot of them together, however some could say that no matter what, they would cross paths because they were MEANT to be together anyway. The consciousness was linked from the island to the sideways universe but then needed the physical touch to be able to remember which made for some beautiful scenes in the final episodes.
Anyway, my point to all this is that what if right now, with not just me, but other people too are in some kind of sideways universe and I am just "living" some life when I should be facing up to myself and getting ready to "move on". What if my own consciousness was linked to somewhere else but I haven't yet realised it. Far fetched and insane? Yes. Should I voluntarily go to a mental institute? Maybe. The only difference to me making that connection and to what happened in Lost is that all the characters in the sideways universe had created something that they had always wanted. Jack had a great relationship with his son, Kate had stopped running as she got caught, Sawyer became a cop and he really wanted all along was justice. Even Sayid was protecting Nadia as all he had ever wanted was for her to be safe but even in the sideways universe he didn't have Nadia as he was MEANT to be with Shannon. They all had lives they had wanted whereas with me, I have NOT got the life I want but can you imagine if there was a subconscious link to something amazing which I just hadn't connected with yet? The same could be said for a lot of us. I am not saying that we have been on a plane and crashed on an island somewhere. But what if there was something out there that I hadn't come in connection with yet that could change my life for the better? Something that is MEANT to happen to me?
It's something to hope for because what else is there?
Thursday, 7 June 2012
Recent quotes from famous people
I always read the newspaper as it is good knowing what is going on in the world and recently I have come across a few things that have been said by celebrities that I just had to write a post on. Here are some and my response to them. I thought I would be creative. The blue writings are the quotes I read, the red writings are my thoughts on them:-
Cheryl Cole on why she is here:
"I know now why I was put on this Earth. To be a mother."
So it's not to make shit music and beat up people in nightclub toilets? And in connection to that......
Rhianna on Cheryl Cole:
"Cheryl is hot. I would like to watch her work-preferably cleaning things on the floor."
I take it you have a single or an album coming out soon you stupid pathetic porn star?
Maria Sharapova on life:
"I mean, I'm bored with myself on a daily basis."
Maybe people are bored with you? You were cute when you won Wimbledon at 17 but even then you were an attention seeking brat. "Wah wah wah, look at me everybody, I want to ring my mummy and tell her I won, wah wah wah, ooohh I can't call her on my expensive cell as the signal isn't good, wah wah wah."
Screw you Sharapova. A lot of people would trade places with you even though you are an attention seeking brat.
Roy Hogson on why he didn't take Rio Ferdinand to Euro 2012:
"It's for football reasons."
No, it's because you don't have the balls to say
"I don't want to take you Rio because John Terry called your brother a racist name and it might affect how you are with him."
Well done to Roy no balls Hogson. And in connection to THAT:-
John Terry on kneeing an opposing player in the backside:-
"I was just defending myself. I am not the kind of person who does things like that intentionally."
How was that unintentional you idiot? About as "unintentional" as you cheating on your wife-who of course stayed with you-oh and that was while you won "Dad of the year". How sickening.
Oprah Winfrey on her rich life:-
"Anyone that tells you having your own private jet isn't amazing is lying to you."
You are overrated and shit Oprah. I COULD HOST A BETTER CHAT SHOW.
Megan Fox on her looks:-
"I'm clearly not ugly."
You clearly ARE ugly-not to mention a total idiot.
Victoria Beckham on gay men:-
"I love gay men. Inside me there is a gay man wanting to come out!"
You trying to tell us that you have a penis?
The Queen on the utter pointlessness of her Jubilee:-
"The events have been a humbling experience."
I know that you are the head of armed forces and the church of England and all that but in case you haven't noticed Queen, the country is in decline, the celebrations were hypocritical and the whole thing was a joke. People are kidding themselves if they truly deep down inside themselves think that we should celebrate. In my opinion, the only good thing about The Royal family is Pippa Middletons' backside which is strangely kind of poetic.
And there you are. I will probably be writing another part to this so watch this space.
Cheryl Cole on why she is here:
"I know now why I was put on this Earth. To be a mother."
So it's not to make shit music and beat up people in nightclub toilets? And in connection to that......
Rhianna on Cheryl Cole:
"Cheryl is hot. I would like to watch her work-preferably cleaning things on the floor."
I take it you have a single or an album coming out soon you stupid pathetic porn star?
Maria Sharapova on life:
"I mean, I'm bored with myself on a daily basis."
Maybe people are bored with you? You were cute when you won Wimbledon at 17 but even then you were an attention seeking brat. "Wah wah wah, look at me everybody, I want to ring my mummy and tell her I won, wah wah wah, ooohh I can't call her on my expensive cell as the signal isn't good, wah wah wah."
Screw you Sharapova. A lot of people would trade places with you even though you are an attention seeking brat.
Roy Hogson on why he didn't take Rio Ferdinand to Euro 2012:
"It's for football reasons."
No, it's because you don't have the balls to say
"I don't want to take you Rio because John Terry called your brother a racist name and it might affect how you are with him."
Well done to Roy no balls Hogson. And in connection to THAT:-
John Terry on kneeing an opposing player in the backside:-
"I was just defending myself. I am not the kind of person who does things like that intentionally."
How was that unintentional you idiot? About as "unintentional" as you cheating on your wife-who of course stayed with you-oh and that was while you won "Dad of the year". How sickening.
Oprah Winfrey on her rich life:-
"Anyone that tells you having your own private jet isn't amazing is lying to you."
You are overrated and shit Oprah. I COULD HOST A BETTER CHAT SHOW.
Megan Fox on her looks:-
"I'm clearly not ugly."
You clearly ARE ugly-not to mention a total idiot.
Victoria Beckham on gay men:-
"I love gay men. Inside me there is a gay man wanting to come out!"
You trying to tell us that you have a penis?
The Queen on the utter pointlessness of her Jubilee:-
"The events have been a humbling experience."
I know that you are the head of armed forces and the church of England and all that but in case you haven't noticed Queen, the country is in decline, the celebrations were hypocritical and the whole thing was a joke. People are kidding themselves if they truly deep down inside themselves think that we should celebrate. In my opinion, the only good thing about The Royal family is Pippa Middletons' backside which is strangely kind of poetic.
And there you are. I will probably be writing another part to this so watch this space.
Tuesday, 15 May 2012
Grooming gangs and stereotyping
I have been going to a newsagents that is near my house for as long as I can remember. It has actually expanded from a newsagents to a mini market now. The family who own this business are Indian-like me. Indian people tend to originate from India which is in Asia.
There is a Chinese fish and chips take away near me. Well actually, there are 4 near where I live, all about 5 minutes walk away. But I go to a particular one as it is really nice. Chinese people tend to originate from China which is in Asia.
About 8 miles form the town in which I live is a town called Rochdale. Recently, it was discovered that there were some absolutely horrific, disgusting grooming of underage girls by a gang who all but one were (the one being from Afghanistan)-Pakistanis. All of them were Muslims. I think there were 9 in that particular group who were abusing, grooming and raping underage girls for about 2 years now. Pakistani people tend to originate from Pakistan which is in Asia.
So if someone shouts "Those Asian bastards should be hung, drawn and quartered!" do the owners of the chippy, the newsagents and myself have a right to be annoyed? Or do we just put our heads down and go about our business KNOWING what they mean? But what do they mean? There are around 46 countries in Asia. I bet that the people that shout this kind of stuff couldn't even name half of them. A major problem was that in the newspapers, the words "Asian men" was said a numerous amount of times and with the ignorance of some people, this just doesn't help matters.
I understand how frustrated people can get when this kind of horrific stuff happens. Especially people who are friends and relatives of the victims. And with justice in this country being so shit, I would want them to be hung, drawn and quartered too. When I saw one of my bullies back in school repeatedly groping a girl and forcing himself on her, I was scared. I was too much of a coward at the time but the frustration in me was immense. In some sick way it was worse because I COULD have dome something. I am not like that now-If I was to see him do that again now, nevermind him being hung, drawn and quartered, I would rip his head off myself. If the victim was someone I knew then I don't even know what I would do.
A couple of years ago I served a customer in a shop I worked at. He said he had just gotten out of jail. When I asked why he had been in jail he said because he tied up and tortured someone who had abused an underage girl for 2 days straight.
The girls who had been abused in Rochdale were all white. It is most probably still going on. Even though that gang have been caught, I guarantee you that there are numerous other gangs all in that area. The police who were investigating these sick crimes actually had the nerve of coming out with "This isn't a cultural issue. Anyone could have been a victim of this gang. They weren't targeted just because they were white."
THAT is what a policeman said. What utter fucking bullshit.
The sick people in the gang were OF COURSE targeting young white girls. If they saw a young Pakistani girl, they would no way do this to her. This Pakistani gang were doing these sick, disgusting crimes because they felt like they had power over innocence. Over whites. Treating them like meat and passing them onto their own brothers/cousins for sex. They don't stop and think about how damaging it is. They also don't stop and think how they would feel if their own daughter was being treated like meat and used for sex by gangs.
The plain obvious facts are that this has been happening for years. That the men are mostly from the British-Pakistani community. That police and some people are afraid to say this because they are afraid of being branded racist. People are too afraid to actually get involved if it came down to actually seeing something that looked slightly dodgy. They would shout and curse about it later of course. But if they saw something that wasn't right-would they actually step in?
The following is a link I found which fits in nicely with what I am writing. Bear in mind that the date of this article is the 5th of January 2011. Over 16 months ago:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344218/Asian-sex-gangs-Culture-silence-allows-grooming-white-girls-fear-racist.html
If you read that, notice how this seems to have been a recurring issue. It has been going on for years. Also notice the word "Asian" in the link. I think that it seems that the word "Asian" is used because if the word "Pakistani" was used then there would be cries of racism. The word "Asian" is safer. Unfortunately, angry mobs don't understand that because you might be Asian, it doesn't make you a bad person. Ironically, these are the same kind of people who go to the chippy to get Chinese food, who go to the Indian mini market for some bread and milk.
I understand that child abuse happens everywhere, all over the world. It is horrific and it needs to be stopped. I think that punishment needs to be really severe. As severe as the actual abuse itself. When you hear about how things like this happen so close to home, it really does hit home.
There is a Chinese fish and chips take away near me. Well actually, there are 4 near where I live, all about 5 minutes walk away. But I go to a particular one as it is really nice. Chinese people tend to originate from China which is in Asia.
About 8 miles form the town in which I live is a town called Rochdale. Recently, it was discovered that there were some absolutely horrific, disgusting grooming of underage girls by a gang who all but one were (the one being from Afghanistan)-Pakistanis. All of them were Muslims. I think there were 9 in that particular group who were abusing, grooming and raping underage girls for about 2 years now. Pakistani people tend to originate from Pakistan which is in Asia.
So if someone shouts "Those Asian bastards should be hung, drawn and quartered!" do the owners of the chippy, the newsagents and myself have a right to be annoyed? Or do we just put our heads down and go about our business KNOWING what they mean? But what do they mean? There are around 46 countries in Asia. I bet that the people that shout this kind of stuff couldn't even name half of them. A major problem was that in the newspapers, the words "Asian men" was said a numerous amount of times and with the ignorance of some people, this just doesn't help matters.
I understand how frustrated people can get when this kind of horrific stuff happens. Especially people who are friends and relatives of the victims. And with justice in this country being so shit, I would want them to be hung, drawn and quartered too. When I saw one of my bullies back in school repeatedly groping a girl and forcing himself on her, I was scared. I was too much of a coward at the time but the frustration in me was immense. In some sick way it was worse because I COULD have dome something. I am not like that now-If I was to see him do that again now, nevermind him being hung, drawn and quartered, I would rip his head off myself. If the victim was someone I knew then I don't even know what I would do.
A couple of years ago I served a customer in a shop I worked at. He said he had just gotten out of jail. When I asked why he had been in jail he said because he tied up and tortured someone who had abused an underage girl for 2 days straight.
The girls who had been abused in Rochdale were all white. It is most probably still going on. Even though that gang have been caught, I guarantee you that there are numerous other gangs all in that area. The police who were investigating these sick crimes actually had the nerve of coming out with "This isn't a cultural issue. Anyone could have been a victim of this gang. They weren't targeted just because they were white."
THAT is what a policeman said. What utter fucking bullshit.
The sick people in the gang were OF COURSE targeting young white girls. If they saw a young Pakistani girl, they would no way do this to her. This Pakistani gang were doing these sick, disgusting crimes because they felt like they had power over innocence. Over whites. Treating them like meat and passing them onto their own brothers/cousins for sex. They don't stop and think about how damaging it is. They also don't stop and think how they would feel if their own daughter was being treated like meat and used for sex by gangs.
The plain obvious facts are that this has been happening for years. That the men are mostly from the British-Pakistani community. That police and some people are afraid to say this because they are afraid of being branded racist. People are too afraid to actually get involved if it came down to actually seeing something that looked slightly dodgy. They would shout and curse about it later of course. But if they saw something that wasn't right-would they actually step in?
The following is a link I found which fits in nicely with what I am writing. Bear in mind that the date of this article is the 5th of January 2011. Over 16 months ago:-
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344218/Asian-sex-gangs-Culture-silence-allows-grooming-white-girls-fear-racist.html
If you read that, notice how this seems to have been a recurring issue. It has been going on for years. Also notice the word "Asian" in the link. I think that it seems that the word "Asian" is used because if the word "Pakistani" was used then there would be cries of racism. The word "Asian" is safer. Unfortunately, angry mobs don't understand that because you might be Asian, it doesn't make you a bad person. Ironically, these are the same kind of people who go to the chippy to get Chinese food, who go to the Indian mini market for some bread and milk.
I understand that child abuse happens everywhere, all over the world. It is horrific and it needs to be stopped. I think that punishment needs to be really severe. As severe as the actual abuse itself. When you hear about how things like this happen so close to home, it really does hit home.
Friday, 11 May 2012
How to get a girl to like you.
No offence to any females that may read this, but girls are just so strange and weird. I should probably say something along the lines of about 90% of girls that I have come across in my lifetime are strange and weird. Yes, that sounds less offensive.
Also to the regular readers of my blog and to anyone that knows me, you probably already know how this post is going to turn out. Apologies for anyone who may come across this who is really lonely, desperate and think that I may have the secret answers to their lifelong question and think that they might yet be saved. It's not going to happen. Or is it? Nevertheless, you should read on anyway:-
It's a known fact that a lot of girls like "Bad boys". Why? I don't know. There could be a lot of reasons. They like talking about their "relationship problems" to their friends- "Oh my boyfriend is so bad, but I know deep down inside we are meant to be together", "Oh my boyfriend hits me. He beats me so bad but I know that he really loves me", "My boyfriend cheated on me last night. I am so angry but I forgive him", "My boyfriend had sex with me. He cares about me so much but he hasn't called me in 6 weeks", "My boyfriend won't leave his wife/girlfriend for me". Etc.
These are just some of the things that have actually been said to me. If you're a guy that is reading this and you have heard comments like these from girls, do yourself a favour and stop listening to them. You might think that eventually, the girl that is constantly complaining about her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, about her husband, about her ex-husband and will eventually see the light and realise that YOU'RE the guy that is right for her. That YOU'RE the guy who will save her. That YOU'RE the guy who is the missing piece in her life-if you think she will realise this-SHE WON'T. You're not there for that. You're there to listen to her pathetic fucking rambling. Like I said, do yourself a favour and stop listening. Stop wasting your time otherwise you will hate yourself for being so stupid.
And as a girl once told me in college "Girls like bad boys because they are exciting". Why she just didn't go on more roller coasters instead of ruining her life I never did understand.
Also, as I have said somewhere on this blog before, I know that there are some girls who feel that they don't deserve happiness. Somewhere, deep down inside themselves, they do think this and they almost subconsciously go for the bad boy because they don't want to be happy. It sounds strange but there are girls out there like that.
So basically 90% of girls (that I have met but probably 90% of all girls ever) like absolute first class idiots. Some of the girls know full well that these guys are absolute first class idiots, some just kid themselves and live in the land of delusion and genuinely believe that they are nice as with the examples of comments said to me that I have used above. So if you are a guy and you are not a first class idiot, then you are already making life difficult for yourself. But for those who are thinking "Yes, you are right, I am now going to act like a first class idiot". Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You have to not act like an idiot, you have to BE the idiot. You have to have the nastiness in your blood from the start. Behaving like an idiot will just make you look stupid. But BEING the nasty horrible idiot and boy, then you will get the ladies. Forget opening doors for them, forget pulling a chair from under the table for them to sit down at the restaurant on. Forget the whole "ladies first" and "being a gentleman" shit. This doesn't work. We are not in the 1940s anymore.
Another way to get a girl to like you is to get a girlfriend. For example, if you are after, or have been after a certain girl for a long time and she hasn't taken the slightest bit of notice of you, it is almost guaranteed that if you have a girlfriend (no matter who it is), they will then start to take notice. The very few times in my life when I have actually had a girlfriend, the response from ladies then wanting me was actually overwhelming. Either that or I was just wearing the right aftershave at the time. And it has been that long that I wouldn't even be able to remember what aftershave it was that I was actually using.
I don't know why this is. I don't know if it is the competitiveness in peoples' nature to want someone who is already taken and then feel better when you do get that someone as then that would make that person then "one that won" or is it possible that when someone is already taken, they are just simply more desirable for whatever reason? And for the person who does have someone, is it because when you do have someone, that you automatically have the attitude of not being arsed as you already are taken and then you can do and behave how you choose which makes you irresistible? Who knows? Fuck knows. But I also have to say that sometimes it is almost as if when people cheat, they feel good about themselves in some sick way.
Talking of not being arsed, this is actually a great way to get a girl. Say if you liked a girl for ages and she knew full well about it and then all of a sudden you would suddenly become not bothered about her and you stopped drooling over her and glaring at her and wishing she was yours and you stopped losing sleep over her etc-if you stopped all this then saw her after you just didn't care anymore, she would be sure to be something on the lines of like "Why isn't he glaring at me anymore? Why isn't he drooling? Don't I look good today? Has he gone off me? Why has he gone off me? Have I put on weight?" And so on and so on.
Money. If you have money, you will get girls. It is that simple. I don't mean a full time wage. I mean that you have to be rich. And I know some people might be thinking "But what kind of girls would you be attracting with just money?"
My answer to that is-good ones. I'm not just talking about models, film stars etc. But just good girls in general. If you were rich enough, the girls wouldn't have to work and could just go around all day spending your money on handbags and shoes. Shallow ones yes, but aren't most people shallow to some degree anyway? I know a LOT of people say "I look for personality in a person". But if you're in a bar, a park, on a dating website even or ANYWHERE, you are first attracted to looks NOT personality. You think to yourself "She looks nice, I wouldn't mind getting to know her" and THEN you approach her. Nobody is ever in a bar and says "She has a nice personality" because how would you know without talking to her and if it is someone you don't know, you go to the attractive looking ones, not the ones who are sat on the walls eating cheeseburgers. If one one side of the room, you saw beautiful looking girl sipping a glass of red wine and then on the other side of the room you saw a fat gross girl who looked horrendous eating a cheeseburger, you would of course prefer to want to talk to the nice red wine girl. You'd probably have more of a chance talking to the cheeseburger girl though but if you had preference, you would obviously go for the nicer looking one. Is this classed as shallow?
Anyway, back to the point. To get a girl, you don't have to be good looking-you have to just be rich. You don't have to be nice-but you have to be nasty and you don't have to be bothered about her-you have to not be arsed!
I know that there are some guys out there who aren't rich but have gorgeous girlfriends-they are probably the same type of guys who cheat on them etc. So I guess having one or two of the traits above would do.
Also to the regular readers of my blog and to anyone that knows me, you probably already know how this post is going to turn out. Apologies for anyone who may come across this who is really lonely, desperate and think that I may have the secret answers to their lifelong question and think that they might yet be saved. It's not going to happen. Or is it? Nevertheless, you should read on anyway:-
It's a known fact that a lot of girls like "Bad boys". Why? I don't know. There could be a lot of reasons. They like talking about their "relationship problems" to their friends- "Oh my boyfriend is so bad, but I know deep down inside we are meant to be together", "Oh my boyfriend hits me. He beats me so bad but I know that he really loves me", "My boyfriend cheated on me last night. I am so angry but I forgive him", "My boyfriend had sex with me. He cares about me so much but he hasn't called me in 6 weeks", "My boyfriend won't leave his wife/girlfriend for me". Etc.
These are just some of the things that have actually been said to me. If you're a guy that is reading this and you have heard comments like these from girls, do yourself a favour and stop listening to them. You might think that eventually, the girl that is constantly complaining about her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, about her husband, about her ex-husband and will eventually see the light and realise that YOU'RE the guy that is right for her. That YOU'RE the guy who will save her. That YOU'RE the guy who is the missing piece in her life-if you think she will realise this-SHE WON'T. You're not there for that. You're there to listen to her pathetic fucking rambling. Like I said, do yourself a favour and stop listening. Stop wasting your time otherwise you will hate yourself for being so stupid.
And as a girl once told me in college "Girls like bad boys because they are exciting". Why she just didn't go on more roller coasters instead of ruining her life I never did understand.
Also, as I have said somewhere on this blog before, I know that there are some girls who feel that they don't deserve happiness. Somewhere, deep down inside themselves, they do think this and they almost subconsciously go for the bad boy because they don't want to be happy. It sounds strange but there are girls out there like that.
So basically 90% of girls (that I have met but probably 90% of all girls ever) like absolute first class idiots. Some of the girls know full well that these guys are absolute first class idiots, some just kid themselves and live in the land of delusion and genuinely believe that they are nice as with the examples of comments said to me that I have used above. So if you are a guy and you are not a first class idiot, then you are already making life difficult for yourself. But for those who are thinking "Yes, you are right, I am now going to act like a first class idiot". Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You have to not act like an idiot, you have to BE the idiot. You have to have the nastiness in your blood from the start. Behaving like an idiot will just make you look stupid. But BEING the nasty horrible idiot and boy, then you will get the ladies. Forget opening doors for them, forget pulling a chair from under the table for them to sit down at the restaurant on. Forget the whole "ladies first" and "being a gentleman" shit. This doesn't work. We are not in the 1940s anymore.
Another way to get a girl to like you is to get a girlfriend. For example, if you are after, or have been after a certain girl for a long time and she hasn't taken the slightest bit of notice of you, it is almost guaranteed that if you have a girlfriend (no matter who it is), they will then start to take notice. The very few times in my life when I have actually had a girlfriend, the response from ladies then wanting me was actually overwhelming. Either that or I was just wearing the right aftershave at the time. And it has been that long that I wouldn't even be able to remember what aftershave it was that I was actually using.
I don't know why this is. I don't know if it is the competitiveness in peoples' nature to want someone who is already taken and then feel better when you do get that someone as then that would make that person then "one that won" or is it possible that when someone is already taken, they are just simply more desirable for whatever reason? And for the person who does have someone, is it because when you do have someone, that you automatically have the attitude of not being arsed as you already are taken and then you can do and behave how you choose which makes you irresistible? Who knows? Fuck knows. But I also have to say that sometimes it is almost as if when people cheat, they feel good about themselves in some sick way.
Talking of not being arsed, this is actually a great way to get a girl. Say if you liked a girl for ages and she knew full well about it and then all of a sudden you would suddenly become not bothered about her and you stopped drooling over her and glaring at her and wishing she was yours and you stopped losing sleep over her etc-if you stopped all this then saw her after you just didn't care anymore, she would be sure to be something on the lines of like "Why isn't he glaring at me anymore? Why isn't he drooling? Don't I look good today? Has he gone off me? Why has he gone off me? Have I put on weight?" And so on and so on.
Money. If you have money, you will get girls. It is that simple. I don't mean a full time wage. I mean that you have to be rich. And I know some people might be thinking "But what kind of girls would you be attracting with just money?"
My answer to that is-good ones. I'm not just talking about models, film stars etc. But just good girls in general. If you were rich enough, the girls wouldn't have to work and could just go around all day spending your money on handbags and shoes. Shallow ones yes, but aren't most people shallow to some degree anyway? I know a LOT of people say "I look for personality in a person". But if you're in a bar, a park, on a dating website even or ANYWHERE, you are first attracted to looks NOT personality. You think to yourself "She looks nice, I wouldn't mind getting to know her" and THEN you approach her. Nobody is ever in a bar and says "She has a nice personality" because how would you know without talking to her and if it is someone you don't know, you go to the attractive looking ones, not the ones who are sat on the walls eating cheeseburgers. If one one side of the room, you saw beautiful looking girl sipping a glass of red wine and then on the other side of the room you saw a fat gross girl who looked horrendous eating a cheeseburger, you would of course prefer to want to talk to the nice red wine girl. You'd probably have more of a chance talking to the cheeseburger girl though but if you had preference, you would obviously go for the nicer looking one. Is this classed as shallow?
Anyway, back to the point. To get a girl, you don't have to be good looking-you have to just be rich. You don't have to be nice-but you have to be nasty and you don't have to be bothered about her-you have to not be arsed!
I know that there are some guys out there who aren't rich but have gorgeous girlfriends-they are probably the same type of guys who cheat on them etc. So I guess having one or two of the traits above would do.
Saturday, 21 April 2012
Identity Crisis
About 9 years ago, someone who was in my class at college said to me "Mukesh, I think what you need to do is to find yourself. You need to find yourself Mukesh." He then went on to say "I am really good at giving advice". So I asked him. "If I need to find myself, how would I go about doing it?" He replied "I don't know. Maybe go on holiday".
Thanks.
So after a lot of jobs, after meeting a lot of people-some of them amazing, some of them fucking idiots-what now? I am in the same place that I was 9 years ago when I left college. Actually, no I am not in the same place-there are a few things that are different. I am older, I have more knowledge of a lot of things including how horrible and vile people can be (even though I was bullied all the way back in school-I have discovered that there are a lot more different ways to be horrible and vile), also a knowledge that not everyone in the world is bad and that there are a few people in the world who are truly inspiring. That is always good to know. I've had lot of work experience. But apart from all that, I am in the same place. At home. With my parents but worse, in debt and also putting myself under a hell of a lot of pressure to try and do something with my life. Feeling stressed more so then I was 9 years ago. Not good.
I've been a drama student, a shop assistant, a barman, a supervisor, a receptionist, a loner, a gambler, a loser, an underachiever. So the question I find that I am constantly asking myself isn't "What am I going to do now?"
But it's "Who am I?"
65 days earlier when I lost my job, I thought it would give me some kind of opportunity to "find myself" as some idiot once told me to do. Oh but wait, I can't go on holiday as I have no money and my passport is out of date. Are there any other ways I could "find myself"? Currently, I just feel insignificant. Pointless. Someone actually asked me today "What do you do now?" Even though I have said it's not what I do but who I am that is more important, I was still a bit affected, annoyed, not happy when I had to reply "Nothing."
I've never understood the whole concept of "plodding along". People keep saying it. Why would you just want to "plod along" and not be someone in life? How can people be content with this?
I guess that a lot of people these days really don't care about that kind of stuff. As long as they don't miss their awful soaps or their terrible "reality" TV shows then they are happy. What a weird way to live life. I really hope one day soon, TV would just stop existing. For about a year at least. But saying that, recently, I am only happy when I am in a pub. With drink. With friends. Or when I am inspired to play my guitar. I guess it's each to their own. Whatever makes you happy makes you happy. Regardless of how pathetic it might seem.
At the minute, I don't know what I am going to do and I am scared that life will just pass me by and I will soon be dead. I keep thinking about the few moments before death and how disappointed I would feel with myself.
So who am I? I don't know. The search for myself continues.
Thanks.
So after a lot of jobs, after meeting a lot of people-some of them amazing, some of them fucking idiots-what now? I am in the same place that I was 9 years ago when I left college. Actually, no I am not in the same place-there are a few things that are different. I am older, I have more knowledge of a lot of things including how horrible and vile people can be (even though I was bullied all the way back in school-I have discovered that there are a lot more different ways to be horrible and vile), also a knowledge that not everyone in the world is bad and that there are a few people in the world who are truly inspiring. That is always good to know. I've had lot of work experience. But apart from all that, I am in the same place. At home. With my parents but worse, in debt and also putting myself under a hell of a lot of pressure to try and do something with my life. Feeling stressed more so then I was 9 years ago. Not good.
I've been a drama student, a shop assistant, a barman, a supervisor, a receptionist, a loner, a gambler, a loser, an underachiever. So the question I find that I am constantly asking myself isn't "What am I going to do now?"
But it's "Who am I?"
65 days earlier when I lost my job, I thought it would give me some kind of opportunity to "find myself" as some idiot once told me to do. Oh but wait, I can't go on holiday as I have no money and my passport is out of date. Are there any other ways I could "find myself"? Currently, I just feel insignificant. Pointless. Someone actually asked me today "What do you do now?" Even though I have said it's not what I do but who I am that is more important, I was still a bit affected, annoyed, not happy when I had to reply "Nothing."
I've never understood the whole concept of "plodding along". People keep saying it. Why would you just want to "plod along" and not be someone in life? How can people be content with this?
I guess that a lot of people these days really don't care about that kind of stuff. As long as they don't miss their awful soaps or their terrible "reality" TV shows then they are happy. What a weird way to live life. I really hope one day soon, TV would just stop existing. For about a year at least. But saying that, recently, I am only happy when I am in a pub. With drink. With friends. Or when I am inspired to play my guitar. I guess it's each to their own. Whatever makes you happy makes you happy. Regardless of how pathetic it might seem.
At the minute, I don't know what I am going to do and I am scared that life will just pass me by and I will soon be dead. I keep thinking about the few moments before death and how disappointed I would feel with myself.
So who am I? I don't know. The search for myself continues.
Monday, 9 April 2012
Nicknames
Just a quick lighthearted post before my next serious one. I'm not really used to lightheartedness but it has to be done sometimes I guess:-
I have had quite a few jobs during my life. I know that most people hate working and would love it if they won the lottery so they wouldn't have to ever work again. I wish the same. But I don't help myself in that respect by not doing the lottery. I am going to start doing the lottery.
Anyway, most people get through their working day by thinking about what they might have to come home to. A beautiful partner. Beautiful children. Saving up for a beautiful holiday. A beautiful car. A beautiful house. Currently I don't have a job and a lot of my last few wages went towards paying debt off. Still some way to go but now I have no money coming in. What to do? I will keep you posted on that in another post. Anyway, I didn't have and still don't have anything beautiful. By beautiful, I mean something that motivates me and actually makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. But back to the point-Nicknames.
The majority of people will tell you that their bosses are horrible. That they are evil, can't do their jobs properly and a lot of people also say "I could manage this place better" Could you really?
Recently, my last job, my manager was evil. She stole, treated people like crap and was the most conniving, manipulative and horrid person I have ever met in my whole life. I haven't hated anyone since when I was bullied at school. I used to call her "The Goblin" and the following is a definition from Wikipedia of what a goblin is:-
A goblin is a legendary evil or mischievous creature; a grotesquely evil or evil-like phantom.
Apart from the "legendary" bit-it is all true.
Not just managers but a lot of people I have worked with in my various jobs, I nicknamed. Just for personal amusement. It helped me get through the working day especially when I was in with people I didn't like. Here is a list in no particular order with their meanings too (I am thoughtful like that):-
The Diseased Horse (A horse with awide range of sexual transmitted infections)
Goldilocks (A male with long blonde hair)
The Chunk (Large lady pointless sweaty woman)
Semi Chunk (See above-but to a lesser extent)
The Beast Of Ancoats Moor (Another large lady-very backward)
The Sewer Rat (Dirty, horrid, vile gimp)
Mr Personality (Dingbat that had the personality of a snail)
Miss Personality (Dingbelle that had the personality of a snail)
The Loch Ness Monster (A big loud Scottish woman)
The Lard Machine (Large man who exported and distributed lard)
The Escaped Convict (Idiot who escaped from jail to work in a warehouse)
The White Witch (Conniving, deceitful and a first class fucking bitch)
The Orange Stain (A useless fake tanned idiot)
The Hooker (She also had more facial hair than me)
So there you go. It's just one of those things I do. I don't mean to give out nicknames, but the looks, actions general horribleness of some people I have had to work with makes me bring out my dis-likeness towards them in a very creative way. It's great when my other work colleagues start to refer to them by the nicknames I have given them too. That's when you know you've made it.
I have had quite a few jobs during my life. I know that most people hate working and would love it if they won the lottery so they wouldn't have to ever work again. I wish the same. But I don't help myself in that respect by not doing the lottery. I am going to start doing the lottery.
Anyway, most people get through their working day by thinking about what they might have to come home to. A beautiful partner. Beautiful children. Saving up for a beautiful holiday. A beautiful car. A beautiful house. Currently I don't have a job and a lot of my last few wages went towards paying debt off. Still some way to go but now I have no money coming in. What to do? I will keep you posted on that in another post. Anyway, I didn't have and still don't have anything beautiful. By beautiful, I mean something that motivates me and actually makes me want to get out of bed in the morning. But back to the point-Nicknames.
The majority of people will tell you that their bosses are horrible. That they are evil, can't do their jobs properly and a lot of people also say "I could manage this place better" Could you really?
Recently, my last job, my manager was evil. She stole, treated people like crap and was the most conniving, manipulative and horrid person I have ever met in my whole life. I haven't hated anyone since when I was bullied at school. I used to call her "The Goblin" and the following is a definition from Wikipedia of what a goblin is:-
A goblin is a legendary evil or mischievous creature; a grotesquely evil or evil-like phantom.
Apart from the "legendary" bit-it is all true.
Not just managers but a lot of people I have worked with in my various jobs, I nicknamed. Just for personal amusement. It helped me get through the working day especially when I was in with people I didn't like. Here is a list in no particular order with their meanings too (I am thoughtful like that):-
The Trunchbull (Very much like her from Matilda)
The Diseased Horse (A horse with awide range of sexual transmitted infections)
Goldilocks (A male with long blonde hair)
The Chunk (Large lady pointless sweaty woman)
Semi Chunk (See above-but to a lesser extent)
The Beast Of Ancoats Moor (Another large lady-very backward)
The Sewer Rat (Dirty, horrid, vile gimp)
Mr Personality (Dingbat that had the personality of a snail)
Miss Personality (Dingbelle that had the personality of a snail)
The Loch Ness Monster (A big loud Scottish woman)
The Lard Machine (Large man who exported and distributed lard)
The Escaped Convict (Idiot who escaped from jail to work in a warehouse)
The White Witch (Conniving, deceitful and a first class fucking bitch)
The Orange Stain (A useless fake tanned idiot)
The Hooker (She also had more facial hair than me)
So there you go. It's just one of those things I do. I don't mean to give out nicknames, but the looks, actions general horribleness of some people I have had to work with makes me bring out my dis-likeness towards them in a very creative way. It's great when my other work colleagues start to refer to them by the nicknames I have given them too. That's when you know you've made it.
Thursday, 5 April 2012
Performing Arts-Bulldozers just don't care.
The other day I walked past the college I went to for 5 years. The reason I was there for 5 years was because I originally tried to get straight onto the music course after school and I was so bad on guitar that the guy who I auditioned to ever so politely told me that I needed to do the course below it which was a year and it was a mixture of Drama, Music and Dance and that if I passed 2 of them, I could choose which course I would do for the next 2 years. I ended up choosing Drama instead of Music after this 1st year course as the music class was full of too many guitarists and after the first year my friend told me at the time that I was "The best actor" he had ever seen. When I asked him "What, the best actor EVER?" he replied "No, the best actor in Ashton-Under-Lyne." His point being that there aren't many actors in my town and it would be a wiser choice for me to do Drama than Music and I could always play my guitar as much as I want to at home and not have to be tied down to learning particular songs for music class with about 8 different guitarists. Anyway, I then did that 2 year course on Drama and was planning on going to university for 3 years to get my degree but a HND course opened and the plan was to arrange to do that course which was also 2 years and then as arranged with the university, I could then just do one year there as a top up on my HND to get my degree. After I and a few others finished our HND course and went to university, they then told us that they stopped doing "Top up" years and that we would have to do the whole course again. This was pointless as it would be 3 years and a lot of the people who were in university classes hadn't even studied Drama before and I had for 5 years. So after staying about 3 weeks, I decided to leave. More about my life on what happened on the next blog post but back to my point on this:-
The Performing Arts building isn't there anymore. After my last year the college decided to knock it down. I knew something like this was going to happen as ever other building in the college during my time there had been renovated and when the time came for ours to be done, they said that they didn't have enough money at the time and kept putting it off. I didn't think at the time that they were planning to knock down the building, I just thought that they didn't want to give our department any funding as they might have thought we were all a bunch of mad idiots. Why would you want to give mad idiots money?
I remember my last day in the college. It was strange. Surreal. The building and everyone in it were all just really flat. We did a monthly thing called "Studio Group," where everybody if they wanted to could get up on the stage and perform whatever it was they wanted. It was a great idea as it was an opportunity to try something different. Needless to say that I hardly ever took the opportunity. I think I was too scared of what people thought of me at the time or that I simply didn't have the balls. I think the same could be said for a lot of people there. The last performance in that studio group was some horrid temporary band that played Nirvanas' "Smells like teen spirit". It was a really bad performance but everyone decided to jump up and down towards the latter part of the song anyway. After it was all over, people left the building slowly knowing that it was going to be knocked down and then that would be the end. I don't know why, but I half expected that most people would be crying or something. Because of the emotional attachment and all that crap. A few people did but nothing major. I kind of half expected for people to strap themselves to the walls and tie themselves to the railings in protest. Hopefully the brave, selfless heroic students could save the building from those horrid evil machines that were going to destroy the place that was a second home. After about 10 minutes after the last ever performance, most people were in the pub.
I remember being one of the few people left after everyone had left. A couple of tutors were in the office and I decided to take a walk through the whole of the building. It was kind of eerie walking through a empty rooms that for some reason all seemed really different as if I was entering them for the first time, but knowing that it would be for the very last time.
I wanted to start from one end of the building and walk right through. The end room was always locked anyway. The bridge room. The recording studio. The music room. The room next to the Music room which hardly anyone went in. The Dance studio. The stairs. The computer room. The room next to the computer room which was held for written work which nobody cared about doing. Past the office. The green room. Then finally the Drama studio. I kept this last on purpose. Each room had a memory. The room with nothing important in so it was never used. The room where we had that psycho teacher in for one day where the students were afraid for their lives. The room where I recorded that horrible solo album which 28 people actually bought. The room where I learnt my first song on the guitar. The room where I secretly went to when I wanted peace and quiet. The room where I discovered that I couldn't move my body in rhythm to save my life. The room where I wouldn't do any research whatsoever but would instead go onto chat rooms and email. The room where creative writing classes ended up being held and I wrote so much but I was too scared to read anything out. The room where we got ready for performances a million times and finally, the room where I discovered that I was actually good at something but for some reason just couldn't give everything I had. At best I gave 50%. I never really understood why.
I am not sure why I chose to walk through the college that day. I think after my birthday a few days before where a few people who did performing arts at my college were there must have triggered that. I actually had my name in wet cement on the side of the building that isn't there anymore.
There were no heroics by me or anyone else to try and keep the building open. At the time, nobody seemed to care too much. I do kind of wish I had done something now.
The Performing Arts building isn't there anymore. After my last year the college decided to knock it down. I knew something like this was going to happen as ever other building in the college during my time there had been renovated and when the time came for ours to be done, they said that they didn't have enough money at the time and kept putting it off. I didn't think at the time that they were planning to knock down the building, I just thought that they didn't want to give our department any funding as they might have thought we were all a bunch of mad idiots. Why would you want to give mad idiots money?
I remember my last day in the college. It was strange. Surreal. The building and everyone in it were all just really flat. We did a monthly thing called "Studio Group," where everybody if they wanted to could get up on the stage and perform whatever it was they wanted. It was a great idea as it was an opportunity to try something different. Needless to say that I hardly ever took the opportunity. I think I was too scared of what people thought of me at the time or that I simply didn't have the balls. I think the same could be said for a lot of people there. The last performance in that studio group was some horrid temporary band that played Nirvanas' "Smells like teen spirit". It was a really bad performance but everyone decided to jump up and down towards the latter part of the song anyway. After it was all over, people left the building slowly knowing that it was going to be knocked down and then that would be the end. I don't know why, but I half expected that most people would be crying or something. Because of the emotional attachment and all that crap. A few people did but nothing major. I kind of half expected for people to strap themselves to the walls and tie themselves to the railings in protest. Hopefully the brave, selfless heroic students could save the building from those horrid evil machines that were going to destroy the place that was a second home. After about 10 minutes after the last ever performance, most people were in the pub.
I remember being one of the few people left after everyone had left. A couple of tutors were in the office and I decided to take a walk through the whole of the building. It was kind of eerie walking through a empty rooms that for some reason all seemed really different as if I was entering them for the first time, but knowing that it would be for the very last time.
I wanted to start from one end of the building and walk right through. The end room was always locked anyway. The bridge room. The recording studio. The music room. The room next to the Music room which hardly anyone went in. The Dance studio. The stairs. The computer room. The room next to the computer room which was held for written work which nobody cared about doing. Past the office. The green room. Then finally the Drama studio. I kept this last on purpose. Each room had a memory. The room with nothing important in so it was never used. The room where we had that psycho teacher in for one day where the students were afraid for their lives. The room where I recorded that horrible solo album which 28 people actually bought. The room where I learnt my first song on the guitar. The room where I secretly went to when I wanted peace and quiet. The room where I discovered that I couldn't move my body in rhythm to save my life. The room where I wouldn't do any research whatsoever but would instead go onto chat rooms and email. The room where creative writing classes ended up being held and I wrote so much but I was too scared to read anything out. The room where we got ready for performances a million times and finally, the room where I discovered that I was actually good at something but for some reason just couldn't give everything I had. At best I gave 50%. I never really understood why.
I am not sure why I chose to walk through the college that day. I think after my birthday a few days before where a few people who did performing arts at my college were there must have triggered that. I actually had my name in wet cement on the side of the building that isn't there anymore.
There were no heroics by me or anyone else to try and keep the building open. At the time, nobody seemed to care too much. I do kind of wish I had done something now.
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