Diwali #4

I didn't write one last year due to a hell of a lot of shit going on. It didn't seem right. In some ways it seems even less right now but here goes.

It is Diwali today. The Indian equivalent of Christmas. Tomorrow will be the new year. Today is the darkest night of the year-so candles, diyas and lanterns will be lit. 

For those that don't know, Diwali symbolises Light over darkness. Hope over despair. Knowledge over ignorance. Good over evil. Right over wrong.

It used to be my favourite time of the year. However, everyday is the same to me now. 

In Hindu philosophy, it is believed that there is an afterlife. That there is more to just the physical body and that there is an inner-self. A soul. A soul which is pure, infinite, eternal.  

There are things which happen in life. Things that are unreasonable. Beyond unreasonable. Things that can leave you wondering, questioning. Things that can leave you forever sad.

Things that can leave you empty and lost. 

But maybe all is not lost. 

All is never lost. 

If what I have written is true. If there is Light over darkness. Hope over despair. Knowledge over ignorance. Good over evil. Right over wrong. 

If what I have wrote about an afterlife. A pure, infinite, eternal soul being all true.

(I hope it is all true). 

Then today, Diwali. 

It truly is a day of celebration. No matter what happens in life-or afterlife.

Things are going to be OK.

This post is for Louise and Will x

R.I.P Myles Oliver Neale 12/10/2014 x

Lust > Love

I suppose it's all fun and games until feelings get into it.

Lust. Love.

The former.

You are horny, you see someone attractive (for me attraction is about the mind as well as the physical features). You want them. You want to screw them, fuck them, make love to them, have sex with them. However you want to put it. It's good. It fulfills you. You go on living life and doing your thing. It's simple. It's easy. Nobody gets hurt.

So then what comes with the latter?

What comes with Love?

Understanding. Companionship.

Something beautiful. A sensation that in my opinion, no written word could really ever describe. Especially anything I may write. Just the thought of that person makes your heart smile.

Their actions, the way they laugh, their movements, the way they speak, the things they say. Their characteristics.

Their everything.

It all sounds so amazing. But unfortunately, there is an awful flip-side.

What else comes with it?

It can make you go crazy.

What if love breaks down? What if one person doesn't feel the same way as the other person?

What if you love someone and they don't love you back?

Hurt, anger, jealousy. Worthlessness?

Pain. Sheer fucking emotional pain.

How would YOU feel if that happened to you? How would you feel if the person you loved didn't care about you? That they didn't even acknowledge your existence?

Imagine if you love someone and they were with someone else. Imagine them being kissed, touched, fucked by that someone else. Imagine them not even caring about your feelings.

Would you feel betrayed? But how can it be betrayal if they don't care about you and never did? If they don't feel the same about you and never did? It's not even fucking betrayal.

Each person is different. Some are strong. Some can move on.

Others suffer. Others become miserable. They feel like there is no point. They don't want to exist anymore. They want to be dead. How can this happen?

What if you loved someone and you had to let it go but you could never let it go? No matter how hard you tried? Give it time some say. No. That doesn't always work.

The emptiness.

No matter what you do, you can't stop thinking about them? You can't stop crying, shaking, trembling.

Are you supposed to just ache forever? What do you fucking do??

Lust. Love.

I choose the former.

An amazing cause but I didn't want to get pressured into participating.

I think the latest craze has passed? Therefore I am writing this. 

Recently, a lot of people around the world decided to pour ice cold water over themselves to raise awareness for Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) and to raise money for the ALS association. 

Now this was a huge worldwide thing which I wasn't even aware of at first as apparently it started on a social networking site which I don't use. For anyone out there who doesn't know-this was called "The ice bucket challenge". 

The challenge aims to raise awareness for ALS and money for the ALS Association. 

The British equivalent is called The Motor Neurone Disease association (MND) which benefited a great deal. 

Fifty-six per cent of those who did participate in the ice bucket challenge for ALS said they did not donate afterwards, while over a third of people who did it said they did the challenge just to gain attention on social media.

A further one in ten claimed to have done the ice bucket challenge because they felt pressured into doing so after receiving a nomination.

In Britain only sixteen per cent said they donated between £1 and £3 to an ALS charity after completing the challenge, while three per cent said they donated £10 or more.

But before the ice bucket challenge was introduced, The MND association received an average of £200,000 a week in donations. On the last week in August, it received £2.7M!

The ALS during the whole of last year well over $2.5M but in just one month, the charity made $98.2M!! 

The amount of money going to such a good cause is just absolutely incredible. That is an amazing amount of money. A lot of people around the world participated.

Some really believed in donating money for a good cause.

Some wanted attention and for some celebrities, this was a great chance to try and get back into the limelight. How many women wore really tight tops and nothing underneath? How sexy. But also of course, celebrities can't make themselves look bad. 

Some actually had no clue what was going on and were just following a trend that had caught on.

It raised so much awareness that literally millions of people are more in the know about this condition now then they were before the ice bucket challenge.

The "challenge" was to pour ice cold water over your head. You record it. You then donate to the charity. You then nominate three people after doing so to do the "challenge". And they must do it. They have to. If they don't then...I'm not really sure? Oh wait, they have to donate more money to the charity if they didn't participate. It's the rule and everyone who is nominated has to play. 

Did I play? No. 

Social pressure has become a really big thing. And when something on social media has gathered so many people into making decisions based on what everyone else has decided to do can make a person feel like they are doing the wrong thing if they decide not to participate. It can make them feel bad. The most kind person can feel like they are doing something wrong if they didn't participate. In this case, the most kind person would have to pour a bucket of ice cold water over their head to not feel bad. Or the most kind person would have to give more money to a charity to which they might not have a personal connection with if they didn't want to have a bucket of ice cold water poured over their head.

I was in a pub sat next to a friend when he stared panicking as he had just been "nominated" and claimed that he would now "have to do it."

And that is what it comes down to for me. 

I do love the fact that so much money has gone to charity and such a good cause for a condition that is truly horrible. 

I would like to donate my money to the stroke association. I would like to donate to childrens' charities. I would like to buy food for people who can't afford to. Am I allowed to nominate people to do this? 

It's national water day on the 22nd of March. I am not going to talk about water wastage and how around 768 million people in the world don't have any water. But it's a difficult one because fundraising in itself.

I have yet to donate to the MND. But I will donate to them. As it has raised my awareness too to the awful things that happen for someone who gets this fatal neurodegenerative disease.

Although at the same time and I really don't mean to sound as cold as ice water, but I don't want to feel pressured into giving or doing something that I don't want to do. Ever.