Getting ready for the new year

• Going through the most pointless bit of anticlimax ever. Check
• Kidding myself that "This year is going to be the start of amazing things for me." Check
• Watching people getting stupidly drunk and out of their senses. Then vomiting. A lot. Check.
• Being pecked ever so lightly on the cheeks by gorgeous ladies who I don't know, having my hands shaken by guys I don't know and then watching those same girls and guys get it on with each other passionately. Check.
• Seeing smokers quit at midnight and start again at 2am. Seeing alcoholics tremble at not being able to have a drink otherwise they will break their new years' resolution and then watching them get defeated under the intense pressure of putting themselves in an environment where everyone else is drinking. Seeing gamblers telling people that they have lost their cards/wallet and have no money to get drinks because their new years resolution was to stop gambling and so they had a massive fix before they went out and lost all their money. Check. Check. And fucking check.
• Achieving nothing at all. Check.
• Feeling even more lost and empty than ever. Check.

The new year. The same old shit year.

Bullying

I have touched on the subject a lot but never really wrote too much about it in-depth. Seeing as it is "Anti-bullying week" (14th November) and seeing as it feels like it's the time for me to write about it, here we go:-

First of all, I'd just like to point out that I do not want to promote violence and fighting or anything like that.

It is not an easy life when you're being bullied. The feeling of loneliness that may stem from it can almost be too much to cope with.

But if there is anyone out there who is being bullied then don't stand for it. I know it is so much easier said than done but you have to stand up for yourself. If it's verbal, you can always say something back-not something that will anger them as such, but just something that shows what they think doesn't matter to you. If it is physical, there is no point just standing there getting beat up. You might as well try and fight back. Even if there are about 50 of them. If you can get a good smack in just one of their faces, it will make you feel less like shit afterwards. If you go down fighting, they might not bother with you again. If you don't go down fighting, then not only will you be feeling like shit afterwards, but you'll be wishing you had done something. And then they will always come back as they know you're an easy target. Do not make yourself an easy target. Even the stupidest of idiots will realise that if they go to beat someone up and they fight back, that they might themselves have a chance of getting hurt.

I know that there is a hell of a lot of bullying going on and a hell of a lot of people who take it and suffer in silence. They end up suffering in silence for so long that them being afraid and scared becomes part of their life. It becomes who they are. It becomes normal for them to go outside their door and worry that they might bump into one of their bullies. Nobody should live their lives in fear like this. There have been people, children included who have committed suicide due to the fact that they are being bullied. If you have the stomach for it then please read:-

http://www.addicted.com/forums/posts/9156/1/Bullying-makes-too-many-kids-commit-suicide

Apparently 8% of all teenagers try to commit suicide because they are being bullied.

I, myself was bullied for about 4 years of my school life by an army of Pakistanis. At first, I would pretty much be shitting it going to school everyday for about 3 of those years. There were too many of them and they knew I was an easy target because I didn't say or do anything back. I was too sacred. The main entrance of the school would be horded, as would the back entrance of the school . You just had to hope you could somehow could avoid those hordes and sneak past or that they wouldn't be bored that day and would have something to do other then to attack me. Most of the time, this wasn't the case.

Teachers were useless when it came to solving the matter. There were altogether about 100 of these bullies (this is no exaggeration) and there was one of me. It came to a point where I had gotton into a fight with a different one of them once a week at the very least. Once it was 3 times in a week. Each one of those was reported to the Head of Science for some reason. The 3rd time, he said "Mukesh. You again." It was like he was implying that it was somehow my fault. At the time, it didn't seem to register with him that maybe I was the victim. Even actual victims are well known to blame themselves for being bullied. I guess it would be easy to blame just one person rather than 100 animals. They weren't humans. Humans have emotions, but then so do animals. These bastards were something else. I remember after the 3rd fight that week, when I was once again in the office, I was crying. Not because I was aching anywhere but I think that I was just mentally exhausted and was so tired. It killed me that I was in tears while one of the bastards was sat next to me. The twat at the time got a long detention. That is one hour having to stay behind after school. One lousy fucking hour. I remember seeing this particular person repeatedly physically sexually harassing a girl. I am ashamed of myself to this day that I didn't do anything. Again. I was too scared.

I really wouldn't have minded as much if it was 1 on 1. That's fair. If you lose, you can say, well, that was a fair fight. I lost. The better man won. But when it as at least 6 or more on 1, then it does get more like- "Fucking cowards are too scared to fight on their own." This is what they are. Cowards. There were now and again times where I would see one of them on their own. They wouldn't even come near me, nevermind say or do anything. Apart from one time where one of them made out he was going to go after me and I took my bag and my coat off and threw them on the floor and then the coward crossed the road!

It got to the point where when I was going to lesson, I would have to watch out for any of them. People who don't know me that may read this might be like "But why? Why would they do this?" I was Indian, they were Pakistani. No other reason. They were inbred (not me making fun of them, they actually were) and I am not.
A couple of my friends had a theory that they were jealous of me. It still wasn't enough of a reason.

In my 4th year of school, I started getting a bit wiser in the fact that, when I would leave home to go to school, I would always go late. I would skip registration and would go straight to first lesson. The teachers knew that I would refuse to go through the hordes of inbreded cowards and risk danger to myself so my form tutor would always mark me in. I would always be marked down as late though. My attendance was amazing. My punctuality wasn't. I didn't mind about that though as long as I was safe. I was always the first one to class.

I know that it doesn't just happen in schools. After I left school and went to college, there were a few there and I got jumped once on my way home. The police did their usual thing of writing it down in a notebook and then doing sod all about it. I remember the next day I thought to myself that no way was I going to go through college life like I did my school life. So I took a hammer on my way to college for a while. Stupid thing to do and when my mum saw me, she said I could go to jail. I just replied that they were not going to hurt me ever again. Neither of my parents ever understood the horror I was actually going through. Strangely enough I didn't see any of them for a few weeks. There was a real sick part of me that wanted to bump into them whilst I had my hammer. Would I even have it in me to use it??

Then whilst at college I worked part-time in a horrid cake factory that was also full of them. I ended up getting stabbed in the hand with a pallet knife. 2 of them got sacked. Then I ended up leaving that job.

Anyway, bullying can happen anywhere and there are many forms of it. School, college, work and even home. ANYWHERE. Do not stand for it! There are plenty of people to talk to:-

http://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&cp=25&gs_id=2m&xhr=t&q=who+to+talk+to+about+bullying&pf=p&sclient=psy-ab&source=hp&pbx=1&oq=who+to+talk+to+

Also the NSPCC and there are also recovery centres including this in The UK:-

http://www.redballoonlearner.co.uk/about.htm

which are there to help someone that had been bullied in the past and not letting that trauma affect you for the rest of your life.

There are many forms of bullying. Physical, racial, verbal, emotional, sexual. If you feel like you are being subjected to any of this, then put a stop to it. You have to be mentally strong otherwise the bullies will win. Bullies are people who don't give a damn about their victims and how they might be scarring them.

This is a great interview with a victim (who also ended up doing Performing Arts like I did) that I found:-

http://www.chicagonow.com/portrait-of-an-adoption/2011/03/interview-with-a-bullying-victim/

There was a thing I saw in a magazine where victims of bullies years later tracked their bullies down to interview them and ask the bullies why and how they felt about it now etc. I purposely didn't read these interviews as I was afraid that at the end of each one, the bullies would apologise and the victims would accept it. It might seem like the wrong thing to do to not accept apologies if they were given but there would be no way that I would accept any apologies if it was me. But that's just me. Like I said earlier, these particular bastards had no emotions anyway.

Nobody has to go through anything like this anywhere or anytime. There are always going to be cruel cowards everywhere in the world. Nothing is ever going to change that. Even though it didn't work with me, you can talk with people. There are a ton of sites on the internet you can look at. Phone someone. Talk to someone in person. DON'T keep it to yourself. DON'T blame yourself. DON'T  listen to what the bullies tell you to do. DON'T be scared. Even though it is difficult to do this. You can use your own fear against them. Remember that you are the better person. DON'T let the bullies win.

Inspiration #2

I don't know if there is a God or not. If there is then:-

Dear God, please can you stop the wars and killings of people for no reason other than greed and the difference of opinion through religion.

Dear God, even though you have given mankind everything on Earth, we cannot seem to sort our own shit out. The rich remain too rich whilst there are people that have no food whatsoever. Please help them.

Dear God, please give us back Kurt Cobain, Michael Jackson and Elliott Smith. we need them.

In return, we will give you Justin Beiber, Katy Perry and Rhianna. If you would like to send them to the other place then that is fine by me. I have no complaints with that.

Diwali #2

It doesn't feel like it much as it's before the pointlessness of Halloween this year, but Happy Diwali.

It is usually celebrated on the darkest night of the year (this year the 26th of October), but I am not sure how it works as here, the clocks go back in a few days. But it's also got something to do with the moon too.

It's the start of the new year the next day. It represents victory of good over evil, it supposedly brings good luck to people and it pretty much is a damn good couple of days.

In my own words, I am going to try and write a couple of Diwali stories. I'm not a religious person at all but the stories are pretty fascinating. These are shortened versions.

The first one is the story of Lord Ram defeating the evil demon Ravan.

Ram was the son of King Dasaratha and Queen Kaushalya. The King also had 2 other wives. Queen Kaikeyi whose son was Bharata and Queen Sumitra who had twins -Lakshman and Shatrughn. As Ram was the eldest, he was the rightful heir to the throne of Kosala. When Ram married Sita (He won her hand by being the only one who could string the great bow of Shiva), the daughter of King Janak who was ruler of a kingdom called Videha, King Dasaratha decided as he was getting very old to let Ram take over the throne. However, Bharatas' mother Queen Kaikeyi was manipulated by an evil maid of hers named Manthara and told her that if Ram became the King, he would kill her son Bharat. Some time before, Queen Kaikeyi had saved King Dasarathas' life and in return, he had promised he would grant her 2 wishes, no matter what they were. So Kaikeyi requested that Ram be exiled into the forest for 14 years and that Bharata be made the king. King Dasaratha had no choice and couldn't go back on his word so exiled Ram to the forest. Sita and his younger brother Lakshman went with him. Bharata didn't want to be king as Ram was the rightful heir and tried to persuade Ram to come back from the forest but he had to honour his fathers' word. King Dasaratha passed away with grief.

Bharata didn't sit on the throne once. Instead, he put a pair of slippers which belonged to Ram on the throne until he returned-if he ever did.

Ram, Sita and Lakshman lived in the forest peacefully for years until one day when a female demon named Surpanakha saw Ram and fell in love with him. She wanted to marry him but he said he was already married so then she asked Lakshman, but he was already married too (to Sita's cousin named Urmila). Surpanakha threatened to eat Sita so Lakshman cut off her nose and ears. Surpanakha fled to her brother Ravan who was a demon with 10 heads and 20 arms. Ravan wanted revenge and went off to get Sita with the help of a demon called Marich. Marich went to the forest and turned himself into a golden deer which Sita saw and then she asked Ram if he could catch it for her so she could keep it as a pet. Ram went off in search of the deer and didn't return for ages so Lakshman went to look for him. He made a magic circle around Sita which would protect her from everything as long as she remained inside it.

A while later, Sita saw a Holy man begging for food. The man needed help and Sita stepped out of the circle and as soon as she did, the man showed his true form as Ravan and grabbed Sita and kidnapped her and took her back to his Kingdom-Lanka.

Upon return, the 2 brothers find Sita gone. The animals in the forest tell them she has been kidnapped and show them which way to go. On their journey to Lanka, they come across a Monkey God called Hanuman. Hanuman was disguised as a Brahmin and Ram said to Lakshman when meeting Hanuman that even an enemy with a drawn sword would have been moved. After introducing each other, they become friends. Hanuman who has the power to fly and to shape shift flies off in search of Sita. He eventually finds her in Lanka guarded by a lot of demons. He turns into a cat and tells her that Ram is coming to get her. He offers to fly her back to Ram, but Sita refuses saying that his honour is at stake. Hanuman then goes about starting to destroy Lanka and then lets himself be captured by Indrajit who has the power to turn invisible and is Ravans' son as Hanuman decides that it would be an opportunity to meet Ravan. He warns Ravan that Ram is coming to get him but would be willing to forgive him if he returns Sita safe and unhurt. Ravan wants Hanuman executed. Ravans' demon brother Vibhishana stops this and says it is against the rules to destroy the messenger. Ravan then decides to set Hanumans' tail on fire, at first when Ravans' demons try to set it on fire, Hanuman makes his tail go longer and longer and then allows it to be put on fire and then he escapes and starts to burn down Lanka with his tail. He then extinguishes his tail in the sea and goes back to Ram and tells him of Sitas' whereabouts. Ram and Lakshman march there with an army of bears and monkeys.

Vibhishana who had now been exiled from Lanka was advised by his mother named Kaikesi to join Ram which he did and this helped Ram and Lakshman kill hundreds of Ravans' demons including Kumbhakaran who was a demon who could swallow entire armies. He was killed by Ram and Indrajit was killed by Lakshman. Then Ravan decided he had to go into battle himself and destroyed most of the monkeys and bears and nearly killed Lakshman. The monkeys told Ram that Lakshman could still be saved with certain herbs from the Himalayas which they were nowhere near and Ram thought he was going to lose his brother. But Hanuman saved the day by flying over to the Himalayas. But when he got there, he had no idea which herbs were the right ones that were needed as there were so many different ones. So Hanuman picked up the whole mountain and flew back to Lanka with it! The monkeys all searched for the correct herbs and made a potion for Lakshman to inhale and it slowly revived him.

Ram and Ravan went into battle and it lasted 10 days. Every time Ram cut one of Ravans' heads or arms off, another would grow back in it's place. Eventually, Ram fired a special arrow given to him by the Gods and fired it through Ravans' heart. It was over.

By this time, the 14 years of exile was over and Ram, Sita and Lakshman returned to Kosala where they were celebrated by the entire kingdom as Hanuman got there first and told Bharata the good news and Ram was crowned as king and Sita, the queen.

People celebrate and worship Ram and Sita as Gods and celebrate it to this day. This is one of the stories of good triumphing over evil. Light over Darkness hence the candles, the divyas and the lamps used on Diwali.

If I am still around, there will be another story next year!

Oh and I was part of a play in my first primary school about this story. I played the part of one of Ravans' demons and was on stage for about 5 seconds. As much as I like you Mrs Inglesfield, I was not happy about this. Shame I had to move school before I reached your year. We could've had some interesting conversations I think.

A dark day for Manchester United

Manchester United 1 - Manchester City 6.

I still am sticking by to every word on my last post. Still a long way of the season to go.

But this was the worst day for the club since I was born.

United V City

The game is on 23rd October 2011. Tomorrow!

In the Red corner we have a team that is the most successful team in English football and one of the most successful teams in all of football. Winning countless trophies and in the past 25 years since their current manager Alex Ferguson took over, they have won I think 37 major trophies (I've lost count). They have created trophy winning squads after trophy winning squads with entertaining football and have so much history as a club.

From Sir Matt Busby and his "Busby Babes", to the the Munich air disaster to Sir Matt Busby creating a new team after the Munich air disaster which claimed 23 lives, the team was rebuilt with the likes of Denis law, Bobby Charlton and George Best eventually becoming the first English team to win the European cup.

Although I was probably a Manchester United fan since entering this accursed world, one of my first memories was when I was about 6 years old and it was New years' day and I was watching them play Liverpool who were dominating football in the 80s. This was some of the game. (The wonders of the Internet.) You will have to copy and paste. I remember screaming at the TV shouting for Manchester United after they went 1-0 down. The commentry from 3:45-4:07 is just classic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upbQNvJy2MI

A few years later, til now, they have been winning trophies left right and centre with amazing players that have graced the game. Bryan Robson, Mark Hughes, Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs and my favourite all time player ever, Eric Cantona. These are the kind of players from my generation who were/are just amazing, loyal performers of the game.

In Blue corner, we have a team of pretenders. They have won one trophy (The FA cup-which is Utds' 3rd priority trophy) in 30 years and are now considering themselves as "the best football team in the world" just because they are currently the richest team in the world.

What else about them?? Nothing.

My dad being a City supporter himself sent me to bed one time after I was watching a European game and cheered when this goal went it. Sorry about the music, I didn't upload the video but the goalkeepers' moustache makes up for it. I had to watch the 2nd goal on the news the next day.

Copy and paste if clicking on it doesn't work.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkuzTOsVNZk

I am writing this as people are now saying that the Manchester derby is the biggest in the world. I will get about 4 hours sleep if I am to watch it as I sure will. And just for good measure:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p5CLhXYFbY

Ironically Wayne Rooney was having a really bad game. It was almost as if he was saving all the talent he has just for that one moment. A few weeks before there were rumours that he was going to join city which is why as well as the goal, the celebration was also amazing. Although you can't see it, that part of the pitch was where the city fans were. He ran up to them and turned his back on them. Brilliant.

Let's see what happens tomorrow.

Naked celebrities-STUPID Naked celebrities

Recently, there has been a group of people apparently from America who are hacking into the mobile phones of celebrities such as Jessica Alba and Christina Aguilera. Why are they doing this? Not to listen to their phone conversations or read their text messages. No. They are hacking into their mobile cellular device thingies to see them naked. These celebrities have been taking naked pictures of themselves on their phones to either send to whoever, or to look at themselves. They are now distressed as this group of hackers are going to blackmail these celebrities for lots of money to get their photos back.

A few things spring to mind.

Firstly, who are these hackers? How are they doing this? If they can hack into celebrities' phones, could they hack into government files also and finally confirm to us all that the government are actually hiding aliens?? Could they hack into the presidents' phone just to tell him how lucky he is that he gets paid $400,000 and gets  to work from home?? With free travel, board and security??

Also, these celebrities are pretty much walking around naked anyway, why all of a sudden be scared of some hackers? Unless they are sticking strange things up themselves like chair legs, cactus or toblerone bars, then there really shouldn't be a cause for concern. Who cares?

Last but not least. If these celebrities are that stupid enough to take photos of themselves naked, doing stuff and then get distressed about the whole situation, then I have to make a suggestion to them-if that's OK. I highly doubt that Miss Alba, Miss Aguilera (we are not on first name terms yet) or any of these other stupid bimbos will ever read this, but if they do, in future, to stop any of this happening and to anyone who hasn't had their phone hacked yet:-

DON'T BE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE NAKED PICTURES OF YOURSELVES YOU SILLY BIMBOS.

Fair enough-everyone deserves privacy and should be allowed to do what they want-but if you become famous, then stuff like this is restricted as you're ALWAYS going to have people monitoring you.

Burning pages

I went to a wedding reception last week. Someone who I've known for 13 years. She of course looked beautiful  in her wedding dress, but as happy as I was for her, it was probably one of the most surreal times of my life.

It only seemed like yesterday when we were going in seedy rock clubs and trying to dance to songs that we thought made us look cool. I recognised a good few people at the reception. All with kids, married, overweight etc.

I spoke to the bride-no longer than 2 minutes. It seemed like after 13 years of knowing her, in those 2 minutes I had absolutely no idea who she even was. Will I ever get to know her again?? What happened to all the talks that we had?? All the times we went out?? All the memories?? Where did they even go??

It felt like I had been reading a really long amazing book but after every page I read, the page had set on fire and I would never be able to read it again no matter how good it was-until eventually no matter how hard I tried to remember reading this book, to remember the words from this book, I would eventually forget some pages, some chapters. And some things that make me who I am now. I couldn't help but feel a bit lost.

It was only until a few days later after thinking about it a lot that I felt less empty and that the good thing about it all was that I actually realised that I still hopefully have a lot of my own book still to write and that while it still lasts, I and everybody I know can at least enjoy reading it as much as possible-even if a lot of the pages may get forgotten in time.

No samosas in Somalia.

It's really hard to imagine actually starving to death. Everyone, when they are hungry claims "I'm starving." You're really not. Apparently one-third of the population in Somalia are facing starvation. There is no food, no water as there hasn't been any rain for ages and isn't due any until another 4 months!

Some people ask why people in third world countries like Somalia have children. Many reasons. Lack of birth control which I don't think would be used anyway due to stupid religious beliefs. Some hope that when the children are old enough, they may be able to help earn money in the future and I even think that in some cases, they just want a child to make themselves happy. I don't know if I agree with all of this. I understand that it's just human nature to want sex but to have families with about 8 or 9 children being brought up in poverty isn't good. I really can't see a way out of the situation unless EVERYONE in the world helps. Every single working person can afford to donate just a little bit at least. If you want to help, here is one of many links you can donate to:-


http://www.helpsomaliafoundation.org/

Going back to the title, I read one of the craziest things that I have ever read or heard (I'm not counting stuff said from idiots that I've wrote about in this blog) and I'm putting it alongside with the idiots who thought it was going to be the end of the world. But this might even be stupider than that. In Somalia, they have banned samosas. Why?? Because some leaders in Somalia-a strict Muslim country-said that the samosa with it's triangle shape resembles The Holy Trinity and Christianity.

You decide how bizarre that is. Surely then, they will have to ban EVERYTHING triangular?? Dairylea triangles?? Bicycle seats??

Graphic Novels/Comics #2!!!

Strangley, after I wrote my last post on this subject, just a few hours later I read 2 articles in the morning paper. One of them was about the famine in Somalia which was going to be the subject on my next post -I'll get onto that later- and the other one was about comics! Weird.

The article was about how readers are now reading comics less and less. It said in this day and age, people are watching more and more things online through computers, phones and whatever else there is. So, The DC universe are going to start their stories all over again from the beginning. All the characters will still be the same but in the 21st centuary and more up-to-date. This could be a bit worrying. What if Superman has a love affair with that chunk of lard that they call Katy Perry?? What if WonderWoman goes on Big Brother or the X Factor?? What if Batman gets a facebook????

I thought part of the whole reading of Superhero adventures was because of the nostalgia. If people with Superpowers were bought up in this day and age, then I think that the world might be even more fucked up than it already is.

Graphic Novels/Comics

The first thing I want to say about this topic is that how a stupid tag of "nerd" is associated with anyone that likes Graphic Novels and Comics. This is very wrong.

Graphic Novels and Comics can actually have really great stories, amazing art, can stir the imagination and the creative side of a person with the originality in them. They can be inspiring not just for writers and artists, but for people too. Maybe if a person who lived their whole life through comic books, dressed up as superheroes everyday and then went on to believe that they were actual superheroes could maybe as well as being super-delusional, be classed as a geek as this would be very peculiar behaviour. However, I don't actually personally know anybody like this anyway. I bet anyone who reads this doesn't either.

They are written for people of all ages, some are written for just adults. It's not just all about the Marvel Superheroes like Spider-Man, The X-Men, Captain America and The Fantastic Four or the DC Superheroes like Batman, Superman, WonderWoman and Green Lantern-even though some stories I hae read from these titles are amazing-there are hundereds of independent comics that are just great stories in themselves.

These stories aren't just about Superheroes/Villians flying about blowing things up. The stories can be just like any other-connecting with human emotions like grief and experiencing loss. The battle between good and evil which goes on in everyday life. Apparantly, recently one of The Fantastic Four members got killed. The Human Torch Johnny Storm gets killed. It actually made the national news as did Peter Parker getting killed as Spider-Man in the Ultimate Universe. (The Ultimate Universe is a alternative to the normal Marvel Universe where Peter Parker as Spider-Man is still alive and swinging but in the Ultimate Universe gets killed by The Green Goblin and then someone else becomes Spider-Man. Some guy called Miles Morales who is half-black and half-latino! Apparantly the writers/editors wanted to be "more 21st centuary" and wanted to be culturally diversed and about how our society today is muticultural. I think it's really fucked up and that they could've made someone totally new who is half-black and half latino but know full well that they would have trouble selling whoever that would've been). Can you imagine the readers who follow them every week and have been for years and in some cases even decades feel?

I wanted to buy a book the other day and had no idea what to get and then I realised why not look for a graphic novel as I haven't been to a comic book shop for nearly 2 years now. I used to go once a month and am probably going to start doing that so again.

I bought a couple of my favourite ever graphic novel to a couple of people once who've never read one in their lives and their comments were "Oh man that was amazing" and "I nearly cried halfway through that-brilliant".

So I'm not encouraging people in telling them "Go to the comic book shop now!" I'm telling people to not be shallow and categorize/sterotype anyone that does enjoy reading Graphic Novels/Comics. You don't want to be as narrow minded as half the ridiculous people that I slate on this blog.

Is romance dead?

In an age where internet dating is the most popular way of "meeting" people, where everyone poses for pictures, writes a profile and then picks and chooses who to chat to and then gets to "know someone", it might seem like an easy way to date. But it actually is a whole load of shit. It is not like those horrid adverts that you see where 2 people sing along to the same tune all of a sudden. I don't think that they even do that crap in Bollywood films as much as they used too anymore.

I tried internet dating myself, out of simple curiosity. It is pointless. If you wanted to, you can put one side of yourself to show the other person. They don't see your mannerisms, charm, body language, tone of voice etc all until after you arrange to meet. Strangely, these are the most important factors that I think why you get to like someone in the first place. I have noticed a lot recently that people don't even ask for numbers anymore. It is always "Are you on Facebook?" Someone actually said to me a couple of weeks ago that I was sad because I didn't have a Facebook.

The irony.

I realise that some people may not have the time to meet someone and therefore do resort to the internet. I myself work crazy hours. I constantly get asked by people:-"Mukesh, why don't you have a girlfriend?" Society seems to think that everyone in the world has to be with someone.

Unlike most people I know, I really don't feel the need to have someone. I hear people say things like "Oh my partner makes me feel complete". If you need someone to make you feel complete then you have some kind of problems that you need to address and you also need to rethink things. Whatever it is that makes a person feel complete, it is not another person.

I don't think that I have met a girl in the last 5 years that had made me think "wow, I wanna be with her forever." In fact, it was around 5 years ago that I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't get in touch with a certain someone until I stopped being a loser. I always think that I should be a better person than I am. I suppose it makes it worse with the fact that I have in the past met some amazing girls who I did think the world of. Unfortunately, none of them are in my life anymore, but does this mean that now I have to settle for less? That I should just get together with someone who really doesn't make me feel anything? Not that I compare anyone from the past to someone I might meet now. But unlike me, I do know that a lot of people get together only because they are afraid of being alone. How pathetic. No wonder a lot of relationships end up in the toilet.

When I was in London a few days ago whilst I was on the tube, I saw a girl who was probably one of the most beautiful girls I've seen in recent times. She was stood on the other side of the carriage that I was on. A good few people stood in between us. I stared at her, a slight part of me aware that I was probably drooling, with my eyes popping out of my sockets and I was even trembling a little. She caught my eye and I did indeed think "damn it I've scared her".

But she held my gaze. My friend whispered in my ear "There's a girl over there.."

"I know. She is beautiful."

After about 2 minutes of completely being lost, the train stopped. She had come to her stop whilst I had to stay on. She got off the carriage and walked down the platform whilst I was still inside. I waved at her. She laughed and waved back. One friend agreed with me that it was "the moment of the day" but another just said it was "sad".

No words, no pictures or profiles. No anything. Just a gaze and a wave. But it was enough to make me smile and sometimes that is all I want.

Maybe romance isn't dead just yet.

Mukesh is singing songs

Have a look.

Frigging hell I'm one scary looking dude.

http://www.youtube.com/my_videos?feature=mhee

If that link doesn't work then type into you tube "Mukesh is singing songs" or type in "EchoFalls1982"

One of them will work!

Keep posted to that link as I will be adding a lot more songs on. All the new ones I learn.

Apologies to any fans in advance who may think I have killed a song that they like that I have covered. Sorry! I tried my best.

The Kohinoor Diamond and The British Raj in India

 Not many people know this but in the 16th and 17th centuary, India was the richest country in the world.

Unfortunately, the wealth of the country attracted a lot of idiots, especially from Britian and France in the 18th centuary.

The Kohinoor Diamond was considered to be the richest, most precious jewel ever. Originally it weighed 186 carats. It belonged to various Indian rulers back then. Where is it now? On the Queen of Englands' head. It had been recut down to 108 carats as it was cut to fit on the Queen of Englands' crown.

It has been also known as "Samantik Mani" meaning Prince and Leader among diamonds and "Mountain Of Light" which was the Persian-Arabic name for it. It was said that "He who owns the diamond will own the world, but will also know it's misfortunes. Only God, or a woman can wear it with impunity." 

In the 16 and 1700s, Britian would trade with India for things like spices and tea. They eventually decided that they would take over after the government got involved. The British "invaded" India around the mid 1800s and India was a part of the British Empire by the early 1900s. Some saying that India was "the jewel in the crown" of the British Empire. In 1876, Queen Victoria was declared as the Empress of India. Prior to this, India was made up of small kingdoms and some might say that Britain "unified" India for commerial gain. But others would say that they caused wars between the smaller kingdoms (among them being Hindus, Muslims and Sheiks) so there wouldn't be a huge backlash against them. The latter is obviously the case as India was made independent in 1947. That was when India first requested the diamond back. They tried again 6 years later during the period of the coronation of Queen Elizabeth the second. There was an argument that the diamond wasn't taken in war but was formally presented to the British. Yeah right.


How amazing would it be if The Queen suddenly woke up one day and this conversation happened:-

Queen:    I say Jeeves, one has awoken enlightened

Jeeves:    How so Your Majesty?

Queen:   That diamond on ones' crown-you know, the most precious one of them all.

Jeeves:    Ah Your majesty, I believe you are referring to The Kohinoor Diamond.

Queen:    That is the one. 

Jeeves:    What about it Your Majesty?

Queen:     I think maybe I should do the right thing and return it to where it belongs.

Jeeves:     Back to India? Bravo Your Majesty. Jolly good show.       

Queen:     Do prepare some cucumber sandwiches for the journey.            

Jeeves:     One has to admire this sudden burst of generosity.                         

Queen:     Nonsense Jeeves, one is only doing what one should have done a long time ago.

                                   

Jeeves:     Rather.         

Queen:     Get Coleman to ready the plane.                   

Jeeves:     Of course Your Majesty.

It's all well and good giving back the independence but isn't keeping the riches not just a sign of greed, but a sign of still showing that you still have the power?

Give the Kohinoor diamond back to India.

Inspiration.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. But I do believe that you have to have an open mind to be truly inspired.

I realised something the other day and that was that I haven't written a new song, a completed one with lyrics and melody in about a year and a half. The scary thought that firstly enters my mind is that this was about the same time that I started my old job. Is it coincidental or am I just looking a bit too much into this?

I know that being in the environment that you are in and also who you associate with can make you who you are. Your mood, perception and your whole personality can be affected by these. Is it also a coincidence that when I was in college or when i was working in a record shop and a gig venue, I would constantly be writing all the time? So being in a working environment where in the nicest possible way, most of the people are robots-what do you do? Can you be inspired by robots? I don't think so. But the problem is that no matter who I am around, I ALWAYS give people a chance to get to know them, to try and get to know the person they are inside. Unfortunately that is when you sometimes discover that there is no person inside. This can be quite frightening. Think about it, you think to yourself  "I wonder what they are outside of work?"

And then you discover they are nothing. It is kind of like looking at a totally empty canvass and having no paintbrushes available.

Now like I said, having an open mind is very important in life. But I've discovered in the past 18 months or so that even when people are empty, narrow minded, have no personality, no morals, are robotic and the only visible aspect of their character that you actually see is when they are kissing backsides and that is it. They will ALWAYS be like that. No matter what happens in life, that is all that they will ever be. There could be paintbrushes available-you could give them all the paint brushes in the world but they will always be the same. Sometimes narrow minded people will forever remain just that and it is a horrible thought. That some people are beyond saving and in some cases, don't even deserve to be saved.

A breath of fresh air, an open mind. It sounds so simple. But sometimes it can be so difficult to get.

But for me, not anymore.

Succeed or Fail

You always hear people when they see someone better off then they are say something along the lines of "He's so lucky, he has everything. A beautiful woman, a nice house and car, a great job. I wish I was him".

etc etc etc...

And going back to what I have previously stated before that you have to be some kind of a jerk and an idiot to get ahead in life, to get the things you want. You have to treat girls like shit to get them in the first place.

etc etc etc...

I wanted to state a point in relation to all that and that is that there are some people that no matter how talented and hardworking they are-they have some kind of self destruct thing inside them that stops them from succeeding in life. I think that there are people with just a load of self destruct buttons inside them that they maybe subconsciously press all the time and that they are always doomed to fail or worse. And if they do somehow succeed then it's something that they can't handle Whether they feel like they don't deserve it or it's something else, I don't know but just look at all the famous people who end up going half insane or even worse because of succeeding in whatever it is that they do. It might be because they can't handle the fame or it could be something more deeper than that.

When I was in school, one of the subjects I chose to do was Business Studies. Not that I cared for the actual subject, I only did it because I knew that in some lessons you got to go out during lesson time to do market research. When I left school, my Business Studies tutor Mr Wilson signed my leaving book and wrote "Don't let yourself down. You deserve to succeed".

Sometimes I think that I press self destruct buttons too. Sometimes, I don't believe that it's true and I will become a better person. I really don't honestly know what to believe at the minute but I might find out which way life is going to go in the next few months or so.

How to "chat up" a beautiful rich girl

I read an article in the paper the other day and it was about the beautiful Emma Watson not being "able to find a man". She believed that men were intimidated by her wealth, success etc.

However, the article really made me laugh as it did seem like she didn't understand exactly HOW people should approach her. For example, if I saw her in a bar, assuming there wasn't already 100 guys around her, assuming 100 guys that day hadn't already tried to speak to her using whatever chat up lines they had practised on "lesser" women throughout their whole lives, assuming that she wasn't sick of the fact that 100s of guys that day had failed to measure up to whatever it is that she might actually want, assuming she didn't have 100 bodyguards around, assuming I went up to her after all this and said "Hi, my name is Mukesh"-she would most probably be like "your name is what now?"-"Mukesh. Yes Mukesh. M-u-k-e-s-h. It means love and freedom apparently"-"interesting, well my name is Em..-"I know what your name is, I know who you are. I'd offer to buy you a drink but you seem to have dollars currently oozing out of your ears and nose so you probably don't need me to buy you one. I haven't even seen any of the Harry Potter films as when I tried watching some of the first one I fell asleep but you're one of the most beautiful women in the world and I really want to stroke your face."

Not that I would actually say that unless I was feeling mighty bold. Granted, maybe there isn't a person in the world that would have said this to her and there could well be a chance that she hasn't met someone called Mukesh before. But what would she see and want with an average Shmuck like me?? The answer to that is-nothing. I'm not the handsomest of men, I don't really have too much going for me apart from a frigging sparkling personality but I have no money, not a great job, pretty much nothing to measure up to the dizzy heights of being a huge film star and being in the papers/magazines everyday.

Last year when I went to see Norah Jones play where I used to work, I went into the pub after the gig and the landlord there who I've known for several years was happy to let me stay after hours and then a crew member who I also knew told me that Norah would be leaving the building soon if I wanted to meet her. I was like "HELL YES".

It was strange, I went outside with a poster my friend had found in the ladies. There wasn't that many people there and as soon as I went outside someone who was I assume was a roadie of hers said "Yeah? What do you want?" "FRESH AIR" I replied pushing past him. Then I waited a few minutes with him glaring at me really thinking that he was going to shoot me. Then out comes Norah with a bodyguard who I'm pretty sure I could've taken. The first words out of his mouth were "Yeah? What do you want?" This time I didn't even bother with a reply to him. I had replied to one jackass already and didn't want to waste my time with another one not now the lovely Norah was stood in front of me.

The conversation was quite a simple one at first. (Her speaking voice is as lovely as her singing voice). It was a simple "hello" to each other. Then "Great show Norah." "Thanks, you want me to sign that?" Yes please, I found it in the toilet" "eeuuuwwww, you found it in the toilet??" "Well not IN the toilet,but you know-in the toilet" She then laughed (Her laugh is as good as her speaking voice which is as good as her singing voice as mentioned) and she said "alright, cool" signing my poster-whilst may I add-looking into my eyes.

Then the stupid idiot bodyguard took her away "OK, that's enough." What an idiot he was. Anyway, I went back in the pub where the rest of her band were sitting down having a drink. Then Norah walks in, gets a drink and sits with them about 6 feet away from me. Her and her band members were engrossed in conversation so I really didn't want to interrupt. I'd had my moment with her.

Another Time was when I was working a Paul Weller gig and I served Rachel Blanchard who looked as she always does, so stunning. I noticed nobody was serving her so went over and asked what she wanted-vodka lemonade. She tipped me £1. About half an hour later, she returned to the bar. "Same again??" I asked. "You remember? Yes please." She then tipped me £1 again and that was it. Never saw her again.

So it's not a question of why Emma Watson can't find a man, it's more of a question of what the hell is the point in even trying?? It is way too difficult for average shmucks like me not to just get a chance, but to even have a normal conversation. The price of fame dear Emma Watson.

But, if I could just get 15 minutes alone with her-I'm pretty sure I could win her over.

The list

I will still be writing on this blog as well as the following one now:-

http://mukesh-dhimar.blogspot.com/

both make for interesting reading.

The world didn't end

So just over 2 weeks ago, the world didn't end as predicted. I have to say it was actually slightly disappointing.

Although, there was supposed to be a thing where if the world DID end, then there would be about 159 days of hell on earth. I have to say, sometimes when I am in work it actually does feel like the world did end and that I am in hell. Oh well, another 143 days of that to go.

It did make me laugh to read that thousands of people gave away their possesions in an act of goodwill hoping to be part of the 2% of people that the preacher Harold Camping who gave us this prediction said would get into heaven. These people would be "eternally alive" though I am sure that a lot of people would argue that this would be hell in itself. Some people quit their jobs to become "ambassadors" to go driving around to declare to everyone that "The end of the world is nigh"

Now before this prediction was made, I even asked the question itself whether the world was going to end soon but I didn't do anything different and wasn't worried that it might actually happen. It seems like these kind of predictions happen when there are times of uncertainty and when there is a lot of crisis in the world. Though major occurrences have happened, these kind of things seem to happen all the time.

I saw an amazing episode of The Simpsons (strangely, I've only ever seen this episode once) where after watching a film, Homer Simpson believes that the rapture is coming. He then starts to gather books to get more information (one book being "The rapture for dummies") and then goes on TV to spread the word. He quotes a message from the bible. A message saying that before the rapture happens "the stars will fall to the earth". Later, a blimp that is filled with celebrities, has an accident and causes the "stars" on board to fall to the earth. So of course, people believe him and he gets on a bus with them all and goes to Springfield Mesa. Is the rapture going to happen??.....................No. Everyone in town then gets annoyed and go back home, a few taking the mickey out of Homer who goes home himself and then realises that he miscalculated and that the rapture is in 30 minutes. Nobody believes him so he ends up going alone to Springfield Mesa and then the rapture actually does occur. After entering heaven and getting a personal tour, he asks what happened to his family and sees that there is hell on earth and his family are burning. So after having a natter with God who denies Homers' request to save his family, Homer ironically starts to raise hell in heaven. God then decides to make a deal with him and telle him that He will turn back time and put off the rapture. So Homer gets sent back to earth and then you see him rushing to find his favourite place to see if it is still there. It is. He goes into his local tavern and quotes "this is Heaven".

So the world not ending has given me the chance to do a list that I thought of just after my birthday over 2 months ago. I'm hoping to do a list that I wrote of "30 things to do before I am 30" in a bid to improve my life and also to make me feel better about myself. I am going to start another blog that will be me doing the things on the list-like a diary or something along those lines. I will post the link at the end of this post soon when I have started it.

It'll be just my luck that I'll be halfway through the list and then the rapture will occur.

Purifying the soul

When you are young, you have dreams of what you want to be when you grow up. Be it a rock star, an actor, a doctor, an astronaut, a footballer or a plumber (money is supposed to be good in plumbing). But as we grow up, things tend to happen where you just kind of lose your direction and end up doing something that isn't even related to what you wanted to do in the first place. Not to everyone-just most people. Why would this be? Probably because you slowly start realising how difficult it is to achieve those dreams and then that's when life can start getting to you.

There is always someone-at least someone who will always tell you that what you're doing is wrong. In my case, it was most of my family, the careers teacher in school and random strangers that couldn't care less about their own lives nevermind someone elses'.

When I left school, all I wanted to do was play my guitar. I applied for the music course at the closest college there was to me. They rejected me as I was so bad on the guitar-I didn't even know what I was doing when I auditioned, I just thought, "I have a guitar, I'll get through". I ended up doing a BTEC 1st course in which I did Drama, Music and Dance-I couldn't dance to save my life and ended up avoiding as many of those classes as I could. Drama wise, I realised that I happened to be very good at it and later chose it as my main course figuring that I could always play my guitar at home and also hated the theory side of music. I stayed in college for 5 years, knowing that once I left, I would get a "normal" job and didn't want my ambitions of becoming an actor/musician fade. Also, as much as the people doing Performing Arts annoyed me, I still had a little respect for most them in some ways. The fact that they were performing artists-not just regular working stiffs that were just doing any jobs they could get-yet. Even though it is really difficult to get a job these days with the way the current economy is, when you do get a job, it is really easy to get used to it and go from one job to the next, plodding along. They had ambitions like me too and I suppose that is one thing I could connect with at the time-but in every other way, I really disliked most of them. They were all so needlessly loud and annoying. I suppose the majority of Performing Arts students would be wouldn't they??

Anyway, it seems the older most people get, the less enthusiastic about life they also get. You can almost physically see the soul being drained from some people as the days go by. I am going to try and tell you that this shouldn't be the case.

First of all, I don't agree with the saying "Life begins at 40". It really doesn't. It begins the second you were born. You're not in control of it at first of course, but as you grow up, you begin to make decisions in your life. A lot of them will be wrong and this is a good thing as it is all part of a learning experience. The only thing I find people (including myself) doing is making the same mistakes.

Also, I find that people end up getting into relationships. Whether they really like the person or not, it is something to do with their lives. Sometimes people just kid themselves that the person they are with is the one. Forgetting that they haven't even met 99.9 % of the population. There is a whole world out there to explore.

I suppose that every decision you make is related to how you have lived your life, your upbringing and the way you are currently feeling. For example, some people don't know why they are racist. They will just hate others and not know why. But I think that it must be deeper than that and that maybe they had a bad experience or read/heard that somebody else had a bad experience of that particular race/colour/creed and maybe subconsciously they keep that stored for the rest of their lives. Might sound a bit crazy but it could be a possibility but this can all change.

A lot of people seem to spend their lives moaning about how they want to change certain aspect of their lives or moaning about their partners, jobs etc but not many people actually do something about it to change it all. So why moan?

Do things to make your life better. Your life is in your hands, the decisions you make now don't have to be related to the past in any way.

Inspire people. Be inspired yourself.

Sluts, Pimps and Music

It's common knowledge to the people that are close to me that on most days, I really can't stand getting the bus to work. A lot of the times they are dirty and messy and while I can put up with this, it is mostly the people that are on it that annoy the hell out of me. The people who have their ipods, mp3 players and once someone actually bought a full blown stereo on the bus and had it on VERY loud. Bus drivers don't care and as much as I believe in self expression, it is not the way to go with certain music.

I was sat towards the back of the but the other day and a couple of girls were singing along to a song by Jesse J. It's called "Do it like a dude" and some of the lyrics these girls (they were about 14 years of age) were singing were "Rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' money like a pimp, My B I T C H's on my dick like this, Dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty dirty sucker, You think I can't get her like you, you motherfucker."

What on Earth??

It reminded me a few years ago when a pop group called "The black eyed peas" had a song out called "My humps" and I remember then too that 2 girls were singing to this with some of the lyrics being "My humps, my humps (repeated a few times), my lovely lady lumps." These girls were also about 14 years old at the time-if that. Their humps weren't even fully grown as of yet.

I see a countless number of newspapers and magazines with pictures of whores like Rhianna and Katy Perry along with the ones mentioned above as well as others sexualising music and totally degrading the word "music". Everybody, even these musical "artists" know that the record companies are mostly targeting young audiences with pornographic lyrics, images and videos to simply make money. Rhianna made it onto the cover of Vogue magazine. Why?? Because of money. She wrote a song with lyrics saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me". This is coming from a woman who was beat up by her ex boyfriend.

I really wish music was just music and not people whoring themselves.

A lot of the children and very young adults that get drawn into this know very little about sex (or music) as much as they might pretend to know. To some, all they know is that the song is rude and they get their jollies by singing it aloud because they know the words are prohibited. Girls will dress up as their idols whilst still at a very vunerable age and this kind of thing can just be plain dangerous. Girls will act like sex objects and then guys will treat them like sex objects. I have seen girls wear tops that say "Slut" and "Whore" on them. Do they really want to be known as these words??

So who is to blame for all this?? Parents, the music industry, the artists themselves or just society in general?? Kids aren't even kids anymore now. They are growing up too fast with younger and younger people having sex and making babies. Young girls worrying about being overweight and impressing the boys by wearing make up from primary school age. Boys themselves not really caring about anything but bragging about how many girls they have slept with.

Why? What has actually happened?

Congratulations India

The 2nd of April 2011 was probably the greatest sporting day in the history of my life. It was the cricket world cup final (the tournament being held in India), along with a list of premier league matches.

The final was between India and Sri Lanka, both deservedly in the final. On the way, India  beat the world champions Australia in the quarter finals, they then went on to beat arch-enemies Pakistan who I don't think should have even been allowed to enter the competition in the first place after 3 of their players were involved in a huge betting scam a few months ago. But it was brilliant when the captain of Pakistan had tears in his eyes when they lost. Brilliant. Even though the manager of the Pakistan team had said prior to the game "We have come here to play cricket. This is not a war field or anything". Who was he kidding?? It's amazing that people can settle scores through the spirit of competition, but this game was more than just a competition. Ask any Indian.

And then India beat Sri Lanka in an amazing final which could've swung both ways. The semi final and the final each had over billion people watching! There was no 100th century for Sachin Tendulkar. He only made 18 runs before he got caught out, I have never seen absolute silence in a stadium before like that. India were 0 runs for 1 wicket and then 31 for 2 wickets and were chasing a total of 270 and it looked a lost cause. At the same time Manchester United were down at half-time 2-0 to West Ham and that also looked a lost cause. Then in an amazing few hours, everything changed. United ended up winning 4-2 taking one more step closer to a record 19th league title and India won the world cup!

The scenes after the game were unbelievable. Some newspapers even said that "it was the biggest party on the planet". The captain of India, Mahendra Singh Dhoni put himself up in the batting order and scored 91 runs in an amazing innings, Yuvraj Singh got the man of the tournament for some amazing batting, bowling and fielding. The final was supposed to be all about Tendulkar in his home town, winning the world cup in front of his people. Although he didn't play too well, he was carried around the stadium in a lap of honour by his teammates with batsman Virat Kohli summing up the feelings of a billion Indians saying "He's carried the burden of the nation for 21 years so it's about time that we carried him on our shoulders"

What a fitting ending.

Is the end of the world nigh?

Too many things have happened recently where this question has to be asked. A few weeks ago I was actually saying this to people.

After the devastation that had just happened in Japan. A town just completely wiped out by a tsunami. About 10,000 people missing at least, all presumed dead. It came from out of nowhere. The buildings were turned to rubble and were being washed away like nothing. Like is was the deck of a ship. There have been too many natural disasters recently-as well as people constantly fighting each other. It does make you wonder.

In recent times, prior to the tsunami in Japan, there was the cyclone, floods and bush fires in Australia, the earthquake in Haiti, the heatwave in Russia, the floods and mudslides in Brazil, the Sichuan earthquake in China and the earthquake that happened in Pakistan.

All these have happened within the last 2 years.

Along with all these, all the recent rioting that has happened in Egypt, Lebanon and Yemen as well as other places too, the Tunisian revolution included . People are just fighting each other over crazy reasons. Instead of helping the less fortunate, people choose to waste their time and energy fighting. Unfortunately this has always been the case, not just now. But still-people could choose to change. I read somewhere that if everyone who worked in the world gave 10% of their monthly wage to charity then it could wipe out world hunger. Just 10%. It makes it sound so easy to do. Will people ever do it?? Of course they won't.

A lot of people are also saying that it could be the end of the world soon. A lot of people are turning to prayer in the hope that something will happen. So if there is a God-why is he/she letting all this bad stuff happen??

I read an amazing comic book/graphic novel called Fallen Angel. I won't go into the full story of it (I recommend that you should read it from the beginning for yourself), but there was one bit I read which was about God and it said that God wants to die. That humanity was intended to be Gods' crowning achievement and that He was prepared to move on after it's creation. But constant prayers from people on Earth prevent him from being able to do this as they keep on hounding him. So throughout time God keeps on sending natural disasters to Earth in the hope that the people will stop believing in Him and then He can pass.-I bet nobody that hasn't read this comic would have had this take on God. Depending on what you believe-it is either blasphemous or it makes a lot of sense.

I don't know if there is a God or there isn't. I don't know if the end of the world is coming soon or not. What I do know is that to a lot of people, tragedies such like the tsunami in Japan won't matter. People will still go on fighting wars, killing people, logging onto facebook to talk to their "friends" and carry on living their lives with their pathetic priorities when there are less fortunate people out there who are in desperate need of help.

Email address

My new email address is Echo_falls1982@hotmail.co.uk

30* of the stupidest things people have said to me

*Originally, it was going to be 10, but too many people are stupid and ignorant.

The following in no particular order, is a list of 30 of the stupidest things (you probably guessed from the title) that people have said to me. A lot of them have been said to me from different people on more than one occasion and most of them are questions:-

1. Are you going to have an arranged marriage?
2. Isn't it against your religion to eat meat?
3. It's not like I'm racist, I've been out with a coloured guy before.
4. You're Pakistani/Muslim aren't you?
5. Being Indian and Pakistani are the same thing aren't they?
6. Isn't it against your religion to work in a pub?
7. Is your surname poppadom? (My reply to this was "Is your surname 'dirty Ashton slag'?")
8. Does your beard grow like that or do you use a razor?
9. If you got married to a white girl and had kids, what would your kids be?
10. Do you always eat Indian food or do you sometimes eat normal food?
11. You could play as Batman-The Bitter Black Man.
12. Do you celebrate Eid?
13. Hello M-M-..Mark (Someone whose brain capicity was so low that they couldn't take in new words)
14. Why aren't you fasting?
15. Do you speak Indian?
16. You're weird because you don't have a facebook.
17. You're weird because you don't like big brother.
18. You're weird because you don't like Katy Perry.
19. If your name isn't Mustapha, then what is it?
20. Where do you come from?
21. I wouldn't treat you differently just because you're Asian. You're just like all of us.
22. You must like Bollywood films.
23. You're a Goth.
24. How many Gods do you have?
25. Do you believe in Allah?
26. So, do you eat Halal meat?
27. Do your parents let you drink?
28. It must be great being you-you get to eat curry all the time.
29. Why are you here? This is a pub.
30. I love you.

Talking Tennis-Talking Life

The amazing Kim Clijsters won the Australian women's singles final! Since she has come back from retirement, she has gone from strength to strength. She says that this might be her last year on the tour. Having won her first Australian Open, she is looking to win her first French one and it could be her last chance if she does retire (again). I'd like her to stay a couple of years longer and win everything twice. (She's a year younger than me).

It was disappointing to see how badly Andy Murray played in the final losing in straight sets and being completely annihilated by Novak Djokovic. Not only was it disappointing (not taking anything away from Djokovic-he played amazingly well) but really weird on the most part as nearly every single point Murray lost, his body language and expressions would be like his whole world had just crashed down. Whereas most other tennis players seem to get over it quickly, he was so negative in that way, that he never looked like he was even in the match and I couldn't help but think that maybe there was a little bit of him that didn't want to win. I know this might not make sense. But sometimes it is in a persons' nature to set themselves up to fail. I remember my Business Studies tutor in high school writing in my leaving book "Do not let yourself down, you deserve to succeed". At the time, I wondered what he meant and thought why would anyone want themselves to fail?? But people do. It is only now that I have started realising this about myself. Literally, NOW. And it feels weird.

I'm not saying Murray failed intentionally. But I am saying that it seemed his lacklustre performance was because he wasn't mentally able to cope with it rather than physically. Before the match he said he would not step on the court thinking about previous failures (he has made the final of a major 3 times now) or go on thinking about the expectations of others. But these did look to affect him. Post match he said wanted to "get away from the court" and for a while "live a normal life".

Strangely enough for me, having a normal life is the last thing I want and maybe I have to overcome my own mental barriers to achieve this.

Idiots with authority part 2

I worked at the Manchester Apollo for just over 6 years. It was a really cool gig venue-not too big and not too small. As it was an evening job and it was mainly seasonal work, I would work at whatever day job I was doing at the time and then work there in the evenings for extra money. A lot of the times when I was out of a day job, I would do day work there. Having 2 jobs really wasn't as tiring as it may sound. Even though there would be many times when I would start my day job at 9am and then not be home until midnight. The thing about the Apollo was that for the first few years, it didn't even seem like a job. As I really like live music, it was brilliant working there and even when there would be artists on that I didn't like, the atmosphere would always be amazing. Because I was there that long and felt really comfortable whilst I was there, it kind of felt like a 2nd home. After about 2 years of working there, I became a supervisor and was in charge my own little bar near the front of the stage. This lasted for about another 3 years-until the introduction of the new bar manager. The Hooker.

I will get to how she got her name "The Hooker" later on.

When I first met The Hooker, I thought she was a bit odd looking. I try not to judge people when I first meet them but a lot of the times I tend to be right in what I think of them. The first thing I thought was that her presence made me feel uncomfortable. This wasn't because I was nervous about having a new manager-I just knew that this person wasn't going to be a good person. Her aura was giving me a lot of bad vibes. Oddly enough, I also felt that unintentionally, everyone also made her feel uncomfortable. This wasn't because she was new-it was almost as if she knew then that she was a bad manager and a bad person. She obviously wouldn't want anyone to know this so for the next few months she would be completely fake. By laughing at peoples' lame jokes, being overly "nice" and sucking up. It would really make me cringe. Now I know this could be classed as a completely natural thing to do as people want to fit in with the crowd. But it was the first step to becoming the evil conniving bitch that she became well known for.

As I was a supervisor at the time, things were ok . But I was the one that was being sucked up to. Anyone that actually knows me would know that I really hate this. I would much rather prefer someone to just....be themselves. Is that too difficult for them?? Anyway, this didn't last too long. Any person who has worked will tell you that being a good manager isn't about making friends, it's about getting the best out of your staff work wise. Eventually it seemed that The Hooker would be doing completely the opposite to this-hence her being a crap manager.

Going back to being intimidated, it seemed like it was most of the staff who had been there a long time that most intimidated The Hooker-me being one of them. Slowly but surely, she used her "feminine" charms to even higher authority and started to get rid of people who had been there a long time. Normal staff who had never really done anything wrong. For example one girl she got rid of because she wanted to go out with her ex boyfriend-no real reason was even given as to why she got rid of her. But it was clearly because she was intimidated by her as she was probably seen as a threat. When she did go out with this guy (he happened to have a bigger nose than Pinocchio on a bad day), she promoted him to a supervisor! Eventually I knew that she wanted to get rid of me and it wasn't going to be easy so she tried to make life at The Apollo as miserable for me as she could so I would leave. She yelled at me once when I started giving breaks to people-even though some of them had worked nearly 6 hours without having one-her boyfriend not being one of them of course. I recall Pinocchio having an extra long break in fact.

We eventually started arguing and having a lot of disagreements. Alcohol and money would go "missing" and she would never take responsibility for this and would always try to blame other people. Also, when my bar was quiet, I would go and wander around seeing if anybody else needed help. She was such a crap manager that I took it upon myself to do this. She didn't like this and one time when I was away from my bar, she decided to take £50 out of the til without telling me. Of course, my staff behind the bar wouldn't bat an eyelid if a manger takes comes to the til and takes money out of it as it could be a cash lift or for change or something. So at the end of the night when I cashed up my til, it was £50 down. Exactly £50 which I thought to be strange. Naturally I searched the other staff members and found nothing on them. Repeatedly asked them what had happened for it to be so much down. They of course didn't know anything and I went up to the office after a lot of stressing out and told The Hooker that it was £50 down. She then started yelling at me and then eventually told me that she took it to teach me a lesson not to leave my bar. I just flipped out and called her "A Fxxking Hooker" and stormed out of the room. The next day I was demoted, put on a different bar and that's when it all started. I would now and again be able to supervise but only if I was good and only if I sucked up to her.

One day I was really ill but came into work anyway. For some reason I got put on a different bar and I cashed the tills up at the end and remember couldn't waiting to get home. The next day, The Hooker told me the tills were £50 down (conveniently exactly £50-sound familiar?) and that I couldn't be supervisor anymore! Funny how when I cashed up, the tills were right, when The Hooker double checked, it was "£50 down." I really despised this woman. Strangley enough, she seemed to be getting uglier as time went by (I remember reading in another Roald Dahl book called The Twits and there is a bit that says "if you have ugly thoughts then you will look ugly) and hairier. Yes, that is what I said. Hairy. She seemed to be growing her own field on her face. She started getting rid of other people-normally the people who were unwilling to kiss her arse and so I knew my time was coming soon. It's weird to think how much time and effort I put into that place only to end up being treated like crap. I really should have left when she started being a bitch and when I didn't enjoy it anymore. But the problem with me is that I am so stubborn and I didn't want to let The Hooker beat me and leave the place. Unfortunately, a lot of the people who I became close with had left or even been fired. I didn't really have many people who would stick up for me. Then came the day when The Hooker got finally got what she wanted.

It was Diwali and during the day I had gone out for a couple of drinks. 6 hours later when I was completely sober, my shift started. I'd mentioned to someone after they asked how my day was that it was Diwali and I had been for a couple of drinks at midday and that I knew we were short staffed today so I still came in when I should have had it off. The Hooker heard this and 15 minutes into when my shift had started accused me of being drunk! Unbelievable. So I got escorted out of the building in a humiliating way. I was suspended for about 3 weeks before being fired. Like I said, I had nobody left who would stick up for me. A few weeks later I got some revenge by writing the following letter, making about 50 copies and sealing them all in Christmas cards and getting someone to take them in the building for me (sorry Christian but I didn't trust anyone else). Before I did this, there were rumours going around that I was going to do something like sabotage the electrics at a gig or hijack the beer delivery. However I am not James Bond. Here is the letter:-

Hmmm, reading stuff. Sometimes it's good to read stuff.


This time, it really IS over. In a good way!!!


Can't really say it's much of a surprise as the bar manager has been trying to get rid of me for ages. It's no secret that we NEVER got along. I wonder why?? A clash of personalities?? (Although she's hardly even got one). Maybe it was an INDIAN thing (we are a strange bunch sometimes and are hard to understand). Or maybe it's because she's jealous because my facial hair is better than hers?? I recently switched from Mach 3 to Fusion. Maybe she could try that?? Or perhaps a Flymo lawnmower would be more appropriate for her??


The whole way the saga turned out has been pretty disgusting, especially after CONSTANT HUMILIATION. The GOOD NEWS is that I don't have to work with any two-faced scummy DINGBATS, or any people who think that they're more than they actually are. (you know who you are you idiots-stop DELUDING yourselves) and most of all, NO MORE HOOKER! WHOOP!


There have been good times (not been any for AGES) and there have been bad times. There have been some pretty messed up times too, one of many examples being the time on the Mars Volta gig when I was put on the rear stalls bar and "money went missing" and then the very next day I was demoted. How fucking convenient. Obviously all just a blatant lie. Sick twisted and disgusting. Unfortunately, lately, there have been too many sick, twisted and disgusting things there. Like favouritism - one rule for some people, another rule for other people and then a whole separate rule for me. NOBODY GETS TREATED THE SAME. In my book, that would be classed as -unprofessional-


I can't even say that I'm going to miss the place. Lately it's been one of many things that's been making me EXTREMELY UNHAPPY. BUT! Now that I'm not there, it's definitely a step in the RIGHT DIRECTION.


I guess this time it really is GOODBYE FOREVER.


Peace, Love and AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooo


Mukesh!

Now apparently, The Hooker managed to get most of the letters but a few got passed around to the staff. I got told that The Hooker was "very upset". I remember my beautiful friend called Jenni who said to me that it was brilliant as "every time she (The hooker) looks in the mirror, she will check for facial hair and think of the letter for the rest of her life."

Idiots with authority part 1

If there is one thing that I have learned during my whole working life, it is not to let-never to let a person who is in a higher role than you to treat you like crap. No matter how much you need the job, no matter how desperate you are for the money, there is no way a person should stay in a job if a manager or supervisor or anyone above them is making them feel worthless. I understand that people do have commitments and children etc, but in this country, the government seems to love giving people money if they don't have a job so things will be fine. If you really don't like a particular person that is of higher authority and you choose to stay in the job, then it will just make you miserable. You will go home each day from work feeling small and it will affect you for the rest of your day. You will become moody and behave in a way you normally wouldn't. The last thing anyone wants to do when they get home from work is to have work on their mind or to have someone from work on their minds who has pissed them off in some way. I know that most people in any job will moan about higher authority. But I am talking about when they make you feel like you want to kick them in their faces or something worse. Some people with authority think that they can take it and shove it down your throat and in some cases the smaller the authority, the bigger the shove can seem to be.



I am going to give just 2 examples of managers that I have dealt with in the past. Just 2 examples for now. Both were "women" and both happened to be beastly, sick, grotesque excuses for human beings.



The first one was when I was working in a cinema about 6 years ago. People at work used to call her Hitler however I thought that was a bit too extreme. My name for her was Trunchbull (the headmistress from the book Matilda, I will never watch the film as the book is one of my favourite books of all time and wouldn't want anything to ruin that) the 2nd. The only way I could describe Trunchbull the 2nd is that she seemed like she had spawned from a wild boar and an ape. When we first opened the cinema, there were about 60 staff members-it went down to 30 as most people left because of her. She would make people feel so small by yelling at them in front of other staff and customers too. I remember her making a few people cry by shouting at them. One time I wasn't due to be in-or so I thought as the had rota changed and nobody had bothered to tell me-she rang me. I explained that I hadn't been told that the rota had changed but I had to come into work anyway. When I did come in, she yelled at me in front of about 20 people, shouting with flecks of saliva spluttering from her big mouth onto my face. I calmly told her not to get so excited and she then proceeded to ban me from watching a film for free (the only perk of the job) for 3 weeks. I had done nothing wrong! Over the next few months there were tons of occasions when this kind of incident took place. I told myself that I wasn't going to be like all the other members of staff and give in, I was going to be strong and fight this beast with all that I had. I was a good worker damn it. One time on the concessions stand on a Saturday evening where there were supposed to be 6 people serving, there were just 2 including me.



It got ridiculously busy for about 2 and a half hours, throughout the time I kept wondering where the hell the rest of the staff were. Masses and masses of people were wanting to be served shouting that they were "going to miss the start of the movie" and "jumbo coke, jumbo coke, jumbo coke" was all I heard for the next 3 days. Eventually after it quietened down, me and my colleague were congratulating each other on a job well done and I leant on the back of the counter completely exhausted and considering myself to be a hero of some sort when Trunchbull the 2nd came to the counter. Thinking she was going to congratulate us for working so hard, she actually yelled at me.... for leaning. "CUSTOMERS DON'T WANT TO SEE SLOUCHING, STOP BEING SO LAZY" My reaction was to yell back, "I HAVE JUST BEEN DOING 3 PEOPLES' WORTH OF WORK FOR CRYING OUT LOUD." Needless to say that this angered the beast and she proceeded to ban me for another week from watching films. I then decided to leave and that I was going to hand my notice in and that somehow, someway I needed to get my own back. The beast had won too many battles, but not the war.



So a couple of weeks later I handed my notice in. I had a casual job in the evenings, but this wasn't going to be enough money for the next few months but I couldn't stay at the cinema anymore. On the last day I still wasn't sure what I was going to do. I wanted to see how she felt when being humiliated and so decided to go on the tannoy system. Make my feelings known about Trunchbull the 2nd to the whole cinema world as well as doing impressions of her (animal noises like a baboon as that is what she sounded like). The microphone was next to the cash office where the beast was in and I was on it for about 90 seconds until she came charging out. I ran. You have to understand how this beast was. Constantly angry and scary and when she came running after me I dread to think what she would have done to me if she caught me. Maybe rip me apart with her teeth?? She chased me outside and then I turned and faced her. We argued for about 15 minutes and I told her what a bad manager and a bad person she was-she then started to have tears coming out of her eyes and for one brief moment, I felt sorry for her and then I remembered the amount of times she made other people cry for no reason and this was for them!  During the following 2 weeks I had people coming up to me in the streets, people I'd never met before telling me what I did was great-I think so too.



Part 2 of my examples of bad managers will be soon.  This "woman" was hairier than me and in some ways , was more evil than The Trunchbull.

Music, Acting, Performance and People

I recently went to a live music venue to watch a band play. An unsigned band.  Manchester has pretty much always been about up and coming acts and it is a great city in the fact that there are so many live venues for artists to perform in any day of the week.

Although lately, the past 3 years or so, as much as I hate saying this, it seems to be that less and less people are actually watching live musicians. In some cases, it is almost as if people are waiting for the live bands to finish before they even want to enter the building and then they will just end up dancing and cavorting to whatever music might be playing. Not that there is anything wrong with dancing and cavorting, but why go to a live music place and then not see the musicians that are playing??

I understand when you go to see signed musicians and how frustrating it can be when you really want a ticket only to find that they have been sold out when you know that there are a lot of touts who buy as many tickets as they can and then sell them on to the real fans for a profit. Having worked at a major gig venue myself, I already know that there is nothing you can do to stop this. It is such a shame. It is like if you finally get signed as a musician and get a massive fan base, it is really difficult to be able to play for them all. And from the fans' point of view, you have to fork out a small fortune to people who do not even care about the music industry to watch a band you like. Although I do like watching live music, these are some things that I really don't like.

One thing that I really hate is when people join bands because they think it's cool. People that have no passion and no soul whatsoever. It is just a thing that really annoys me. If you happen to look cool whilst you are doing your thing then fair enough, but people who actually pick up an instrument and then suddenly think that they are Gods gift to the universe is just pathetic. What makes it worse is that their "groupies" (these are people that just follow certain bands around and basically just need to get a life) also think that whoever they are following are Gods gift too and think that they themselves are cool because they can sing along to the songs when in reality they are all just losers. This can make the performers so arrogant. It isn't good to watch and I find it quite off putting.

Whilst I was in college, I went to the theatre countless times and watched tons of performances. Apart from college shows, I also found that a lot of actors I saw would also generally be really snooty and up themselves. Whether their acting was good or not, they for some reason thought that they were some kind of wonderful breed of people that seemed to know everything. Plus there is so much bitchiness in the acting world. I remember going for a part once and got talking to some guy who lived in Manchester like I do. It took me 2 hours on the train to arrive at the destination for the audition and as this guy drove, he offered me a lift back. Anyway, we did our pieces and mine happened to be a lot better than his. He ended up storming off and I never did get the lift home he offered. Ironically, I didn't even get the part. But then neither did the overweight idiot.

Not to stereotype everyone (I know what it is like to be stereotyped believe me and it just goes to show how idiotic and narrow minded people are), I also found that theatre goers can be quite snooty too. Now I really don't know why this is the case as I cannot understand it. It is a strange thought that people who watch the theatre can be up themselves. I feel like i need to reiterate that I am not talking about everyone who go to the theatre, I am just talking about the majority of people who I have come across whilst in the past going to the theatre.

It gets really weird when I think about going to the theatre now-although I haven't been in ages, as a person who did Drama for 5 years, I still would have an interest in going but do think about what the people on stage would be like and what the audience would be like too. As for going to watch a band, the environment can be really strange. The last one I went to was an indie place where nearly all the guys were wearing ties (they were trying to be cool) and all the girls looked the same (fake tan, hair extensions and general grossness). Most of these people actually came in the building after the bands had finished playing and there was nothing unique about anyone. I also found that I was being given strange looks by a good few people. Why?? I don't know-I think it was because I didn't have a tie on-ironically whilst I was in college, I did go through a stage where I wore ties a lot. I would get weird looks for doing that. So I wear a tie, I get weird looks, I don't wear a tie and I still get weird looks. Pretty much a no win situation.

So what puts me off performing?? Well, it is admittedly nerve racking performing songs that I have written myself, imagine being in an environment where you are performing to a load of idiots in ties and to a load of girls who look like cheap prostitutes?? But i am a bit of a hypocrite as I always go on about how you have to win people over if you are a live musician and not play for whoever would like your type of music-I actually honestly don't even know if anyone would like the songs I play. As for acting-I really do feel that I would now prefer to be on stage as myself rather than someone else. Unfortunately, in the environments that I am currently in-I feel like nobody knows anything about me at all.