Olympic Games 2012

I had to write a post on this as I thought that the games were frigging amazing.

I'm going to post my favourite/worst moments. Let me know if you agree or not!

Best moment:-

There were a lot of amazing moments-Jessica Ennis winning the Heptathlon, Usain Bolt being Usain Bolt, the world record being broken in the 800m by David Rudiha, Andy Murray winning a gold medal, Michael Phelps winning lots of medals, Mo Farah winning and then winning again, Sir Chris Hoy winning a gold medal and then crying, the womens' beach volleyball. Lots. There were frigging LOTS.

But I am going to give my best moment to Gemma Gibbons in the Judo. She didn't win gold but won a silver but unbelievably getting to the final. She was amazing and also for the fact that I only ever watch Judo when it is The Olympics but never really caring about it until this year. I was glued to the screen and really wanted her to go all the way. Her punching the air when she made the final was awesome. And looking up and mouthing "I love you" to her mother who had passed away through leukaemia was beautiful. 

Worst moment:-

Not that many at all. Someone called Nadzeya Ostapchuk from Belarus-she failed a drug test and had her Shot Put gold medal stripped. The 2 teams from South Korea, 1 from China and 1 from Indonesia in the Badminton who lost their matches on purpose so they might have had easier opponents in the next round was just pathetic to watch.

But the winner is One Direction, Jesse J AND Russell Brand at the closing ceremony. What the hell were they even doing there?

Most controversial moment:-

This was unbelievable. See for yourself how Shin A Lam got robbed in The Fencing semi-final. Keep your eye on the clock when there is one second to go. Copy and paste:-

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ktlincoln/an-olympic-fencer-refuses-to-leave-the-floor-after

Best celebration:-

Amazing celebration from Robert Harting after winning The Mens' Discus event. Copy and paste:-

http://bostinno.com/2012/08/08/video-robert-harting-hulk-celebration-discus-gold-germany/#ss__199315_1_0__ss


Best Football game:-

For any Americans that read this, I am not too sure what "Soccer" is but I do know that Football is Football because it is played with your feet. The best game goes to The American ladies who beat Canada 4-3 in The Womens' semi-final. What a game.

Biggest let down:-

Apart from the horrific One Direction, the awful Russel Brand and the gross Jesse J, also Victoria Pendleton on 2 things, one being disqualified from her first event and secondly after The Olympics finished, saying "I want to try Strictly Come Dancing".

But the winner has to be India on not winning a single gold medal! Darn it! 2 silvers and 4 bronze-well at least that is 6 more medals than Pakistan.

Best picture:-

No, the winner isn't Mo Farah after winning either of his races. Or Usian Bolt after winning either of his races. Or Mo Farah doing a Usain Bolt pose. Or Usain Bolt doing a Mo Farah pose.

It is Sally Pearson after winning the 100m Womens' Hurdles:-

But I have to put in a 2nd. It is the beautiful, graceful Natalya Antyukh from Russia winning the 400m Womens' Hurdles:-

And the bronze medal for the best picture goes to the silver medallist Gemma Gibbons:-

and the last one that I had to put in is of Annalisa Harju from Finland after she and her friends brought tickets online which never arrived:-

Best quotes:-

I couldn't really pick just one. So here are a few:-

"My mother used to tell us in the mornings, 'Carl put on your shoes, Oscar you put on your prosthetic legs...' so I grew up not really thinking I had a disability. I grew up thinking I had different shoes."
- Oscar Pistorius

"I hope that this medal (silver in the Mens' 20 km race walk. Guatemalas' first-ever Olympic medal) inspires the kids at home to put down knives and guns and pick up a pair of trainers instead."
- Erick Barrondo

A presenter to Beth Tweddles' parents after she won a bronze medal on The Uneven Bars-"Just tell me what you've been going through this past week."

"I've been laying a patio."
- Mr Tweddle 

"There were moments when you began to wonder if The Olympics were the only thing we had to hand over to Rio: Could The Brazilians not be coerced into taking Russell Brand off our hands while they were about it?"
- Alexis Petridis (Pop and Rock critic)

"The female body is a masterpiece. Everyone likes to look at the female body, especially in dynamic, athletic sport." - Natalie Cook

"Of course it is an amazing feeling to represent your country and I hope there will be many more occasions to come, because I really love the tune of our national anthem."
- Sandra Raluca Izbasa

"About a year ago I was not sure I would be alive. It's winning just being here, speaking to you guys."
- Petr Koukal

"Sometimes it's just the beer and bikinis that get people to come to watch, but it's the competition that's keeping them there."
- Kerri Walsh Jennings

"We've won The Olympics"
- Katherine Copeland

And that's it. The best (and worst) moments from The Olympic Games 2012. Well done London, well done to all the athletes, organisers and volunteers (my cousin and his wife being 2 of them). It was an amazing Olympic games.






  

Get rid of the guns.

A few years ago I was working in a certain retail store. I remember one particular shift when I was absolutely exhausted and it was one of those work places where it was just a few people of the many staff there who carried the store. A LOT of lazy staff who weren't needed would walk about with clipboards or notepads trying their damned hardest to look professional whilst actually not doing anything useful.

Anyway, on that day, I had done a stupid amount of hours already and at the time, I had 2 jobs and was working crazy hours during the whole week I remember that I was at my evening job too later and really wanted to just sleep forever.

A customer came to the counter. The store was busy and I was dead on my feet. The customer had a watch he wanted to return. No box. No receipt. No proof of purchase whatsoever. When I politely, repeatedly, for about 20 minutes told this customer that we couldn't do a refund as he had no proof of purchase, he argued a lot with me demanding for what he said was his. He then threatened to shoot me with "the gun in his pocket" and then went around the store showing apparently what was a gun to the other customers who seemed to get frightened. Did this bozo really actually have a gun? I wasn't sure. I radioed to our security guard who informed me that he "was on his way". The security guard was about 247 years old so him being on his way from wherever he was (outside smoking) would take at least 2 weeks. So I decided to ring the police who probably would have taken just as long anyway. But before I could, the customer advanced towards me. He was a big, brutish oaf with a slightly unbalanced walk due to him being overweight and also had drool coming down from his mouth to his double chin. "You gonna give me back my money or do you want a bullet in your face". Defiant, stubborn, stupid (whatever you want to call it) and me being the completely opposite to big, brutish oaf-like overweight and completely drool-less and double-chinless , it wasn't easy for me to clear my throat and reply "No proof of purchase, no refund. If you're going to shoot me then do it. I've had a long week."

The brute, who now had his hand in his inside pocket which from the look of it, definitely had SOMETHING in it, glared at me for about 30 seconds but it actually seemed like 3 hours. Then he grabbed the box-less, receipt-less watch from the counter and stormed out of the store.

The security guard then decided to spring into action and came out of nowhere demanding to know where this brute was.
"He left 5 minutes ago." I said.
"I would have showed him." said the security guard.
Of course you would have.
 
It was only after the incident happened when some customers from outside the store came rushing in to say that they had seen a man with a gun. The managers after hearing what had happened came out of their hibernation to see if I was OK. Not really sure what they were doing whilst the incident was happening. "He could have shot you", "What if he shot you?" "Did he really have a gun?" were things mostly said to me then. And also I got a "Next time, do whatever he wants." My shift had finished and I just wanted to go home-oh but wait, I had to go to my other job where I got more of the same. I couldn't explain to people that if I wasn't so tired, then I would have been scared. But I was alive then. That was the main thing.

Recently some dickhead shot dead 12 people and wounded 58 others in a mass shooting outside a cinema in Colorado which was showing the new Batman film. He claimed he was "The Joker" but then also said that he "doesn't remember anything and doesn't understand why he is in prison." Strangely, he used to study neuroscience.

Anyway, he spent $15,000 which is about £9500 on guns and ammunition. He bought them online.
How fucked up is it that you can buy GUNS and AMMUNITION online?? I couldn't even believe it when I had heard that. I know you can buy just about ANYTHING online but surely there should be some kind of thing to see what is going to what kind of person it is that is buying??

In a world where a 30 year old like me sometimes gets asked for I.D when I go to buy a bottle of wine, for someone can go online and purchase guns so freely and so easily to kill people is sickening. Didn't the online stores where he bought them for even question what he needed them for? What he needed ALL THAT MUCH of it for?

To cause harm and kill people and nothing else.

Why are guns even available to buy in places like The United States of America? Countless times, some maniac has been on a mass killing spree shooting people in schools, colleges and now at a cinema. Yet all that happens is the same thing that happens every time. The police will say how sorry they are for the families and friends of the victims, The President will talk some BOLLOCKS about how "in times like these people need to come together" and some other crap about "the human spirit triumphing above adversity". Just because people like to hear about that kind of shit.

But that shit isn't good enough anymore. Too many people-innocent people-have died but nothing really gets done about it.

What would happen if ALL firearms were banned? Or better still, as well as being banned, stopped being produced in the first place. Oh but then too much money is spent on firearms and money still has to be made so I guess that is out of the question. Money is more important than innocent lives so it seems.

To me, when things like this happen (and they will happen again and again) people who are supposed to be strong and powerful like The President, just end up looking weak and pathetic.

Get rid of the guns. I might have made the choice to be defiant, stubborn and stupid but there are a lot of innocent people out there who don't even get a chance to make a decision before they are killed and it is such a waste of life. Not to mention the pain, suffering and helplessness their family and friends have to go through.

It is not right.

Am I dead?

It might be a strange question to ask.

But I have been thinking for about a month now about how very out of touch with the world and out of touch with people I am.

Unlike a lot of people around me, I don't have a Facebook account. I don't watch shit reality TV (watch this space for a post on that) which is actually most TV these days, I have no idea what is new in music, I didn't even know until a week ago that there are actually 3 Transformers movies. How the hell they made 3 is just beyond me after I somehow managed to get through watching the first one and wrote about it in this blog post:-
http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7817154262617981257#editor/target=post;postID=280470456344617613

It wasn't worth anymore words.

Out of curiosity, last week I looked at the top ten of "The worlds' sexiest women" from a certain magazine (I actually looked at the results online). I didn't even recognise the woman at number 1. I had to read up about her. The questions I then asked myself were-Who? Why? and also How? The answer was the same to all 3 questions-I don't know. For those that read this who don't know who is number one and out of their own curiosity after reading this now want to know, trust me-don't waste your time. Others in the top 10 were disgusting, grotesque women. It shouldn't be called "The worlds' sexiest women" but instead, it should be called:-

"The worlds' most attention seeking hookers who are in the public eye the most and are actual full blown sluts".

Women like Rhianna (who looks like a starved Ethiopian boy-no offence to starved Ethiopian boys or any Ethiopians for that matter-), Katy Perry (who I have never seen the big deal about as she just looks like a huge chunk of lard) and Cheryl Cole (apparently the nations' sweetheart even though she beat up someone in a nightclub toilet).

Anyway, the point being that most of the women in the top 10, I didn't even recognise. Weird. Yet Everyone adores these women. And I don't understand it.

Manchester City winning the premier league title. That is messed up on so many levels. I keep thinking did it really even happen? Yes it did happen. Weird. And so was the way it happened.

My point to all this is that a lot of things are happening which I can't seem to grasp or fathom. I can't seem to make sense of. All that is written above is just my strange way of saying that. Of trying to put it all into words.

EVERYONE around me is going through life. Living life. Having kids, getting married, progressing in their careers, moving home, moving ABROAD. I feel like I am stuck in time. Watching everyone live a life and for some reason, can't seem to move forward. When I try to move forward, I just end up back in the same place. It is really difficult to explain. There is no progress and there doesn't seem to be any purpose either anymore.

I know I have wrote before about how maybe the world has ended and we are already in Hell. But what I didn't talk about enough was that Hell isn't a place with burning coal and being prodded by the devil with a red hot poking device. Just like Heaven isn't a place where everyone is dressed in white and playing the harp. What if hell is just to not live. And heaven is to live? The problem is, I just don't feel alive. Empty. Invisible. Non existent. Pointless.

I recently finished watching the AMAZING TV show that was called "Lost". It was actually the 2nd time round that I had watched it and I am so glad that I did. It is just absolutely incredible. Very thought provoking, amazing characters, brilliant script writing, the religious paradoxes, the exploration of ideas with time travel,  the Egyptian mythology used, the thought that free will and fate are tied together. All amazing. I know some people couldn't handle Lost. I know that there were a lot of people who stopped watching it because they stopped understanding and there were also a lot of people who did watch it all but still didn't understand it. To those people, I would just like to say one word:-

Idiots.

Now if there is anyone who HASN'T seen Lost and wants to watch it then you probably should stop reading now as it will spoil it. I better put it anyway-MAJOR SPOILER ALERT-

So right at the end of Lost, we as the viewers find out that everyone is dead. But that is only right at the end when Jack talks to his father in the sideways universe. The plane still crashed, the bomb had still gone off etc. Everything did happen. What we don't know is that how long each of them had lived for. For example, Hurley became protector of the island when Jack died (on the island) and Hurley could have lived for many many years before somehow connecting with the sideways universe. Libby who was voluntarily in a mental institute because she thought her memories from the island were irrational having not realised that they had actually happened. It was only when she physically touched Hurley who then remembered it all himself and then confirmed to Libby that she wasn't crazy. In the sideways universe, all the characters it seemed needed to find their loved ones before they could move on. On the island, all the characters needed to come to terms with who they are and do what they want before they would die on the island. For example, Charlie kicked his drug habit, Mr Ecko came to terms with his life and didn't confess anything as he thought what he did was right and then he died and right throughout the whole series when Jack just wanted everyone to get Kate off the island. He does it and then  he dies (on the island). In the sideways universe, it was Desmond that got a lot of them together, however some could say that no matter what, they would cross paths because they were MEANT to be together anyway. The consciousness was linked from the island to the sideways universe but then needed the physical touch to be able to remember which made for some beautiful scenes in the final episodes.

Anyway, my point to all this is that what if right now, with not just me, but other people too are in some kind of sideways universe and I am just "living" some life when I should be facing up to myself and getting ready to "move on". What if my own consciousness was linked to somewhere else but I haven't yet realised it. Far fetched and insane? Yes. Should I voluntarily go to a mental institute? Maybe. The only difference to me making that connection and to what happened in Lost is that all the characters in the sideways universe had created something that they had always wanted. Jack had a great relationship with his son, Kate had stopped running as she got caught, Sawyer became a cop and he really wanted all along was justice. Even Sayid was protecting Nadia as all he had ever wanted was for her to be safe but even in the sideways universe he didn't have Nadia as he was MEANT to be with Shannon. They all had lives they had wanted whereas with me, I have NOT got the life I want but can you imagine if there was a subconscious link to something amazing which I just hadn't connected with yet? The same could be said for a lot of us. I am not saying that we have been on a plane and crashed on an island somewhere. But what if there was something out there that I hadn't come in connection with yet that could change my life for the better? Something that is MEANT to happen to me?

It's something to hope for because what else is there?

Recent quotes from famous people

I always read the newspaper as it is good knowing what is going on in the world and recently I have come across a few things that have been said by celebrities that I just had to write a post on. Here are some and my response to them. I thought I would be creative. The blue writings are the quotes I read, the red writings are my thoughts on them:-

Cheryl Cole on why she is here:

"I know now why I was put on this Earth. To be a mother."

So it's not to make shit music and beat up people in nightclub toilets? And in connection to that......

Rhianna on Cheryl Cole:

"Cheryl is hot. I would like to watch her work-preferably cleaning things on the floor."

I take it you have a single or an album coming out soon you stupid pathetic porn star?

Maria Sharapova on life:

"I mean, I'm bored with myself on a daily basis."

Maybe people are bored with you? You were cute when you won Wimbledon at 17 but even then you were an attention seeking brat. "Wah wah wah, look at me everybody, I want to ring my mummy and tell her I won, wah wah wah, ooohh I can't call her on my expensive cell as the signal isn't good, wah wah wah."

Screw you Sharapova. A lot of people would trade places with you even though you are an attention seeking brat.

Roy Hogson on why he didn't take Rio Ferdinand to Euro 2012:

"It's for football reasons."

No, it's because you don't have the balls to say 


"I don't want to take you Rio because John Terry called your brother a racist name and it might affect how you are with him." 


Well done to Roy no balls Hogson. And in connection to THAT:-

John Terry on kneeing an opposing player in the backside:-

"I was just defending myself. I am not the kind of person who does things like that intentionally."

How was that unintentional you idiot? About as "unintentional" as you cheating on your wife-who of course stayed with you-oh and that was while you won "Dad of the year". How sickening. 

Oprah Winfrey on her rich life:-

"Anyone that tells you having your own private jet isn't amazing is lying to you."

You are overrated and shit Oprah. I COULD HOST A BETTER CHAT SHOW.

Megan Fox on her looks:-

"I'm clearly not ugly."

You clearly ARE ugly-not to mention a total idiot.

Victoria Beckham on gay men:-

"I love gay men. Inside me there is a gay man wanting to come out!"

You trying to tell us that you have a penis?

The Queen on the utter pointlessness of her Jubilee:-

"The events have been a humbling experience."

I know that you are the head of armed forces and the church of England and all that but in case you haven't noticed Queen, the country is in decline, the celebrations were hypocritical and the whole thing was a joke. People are kidding themselves if they truly deep down inside themselves think that we should celebrate. In my opinion, the only good thing about The Royal family is Pippa Middletons' backside which is strangely kind of poetic.

And there you are. I will probably be writing another part to this so watch this space.

Grooming gangs and stereotyping

I have been going to a newsagents that is near my house for as long as I can remember. It has actually expanded from a newsagents to a mini market now. The family who own this business are Indian-like me. Indian people tend to originate from India which is in Asia.

There is a Chinese fish and chips take away near me. Well actually, there are 4 near where I live, all about 5 minutes walk away. But I go to a particular one as it is really nice. Chinese people tend to originate from China which is in Asia.

About 8 miles form the town in which I live is a town called Rochdale. Recently, it was discovered that there were some absolutely horrific, disgusting grooming of underage girls by a gang who all but one were (the one being from Afghanistan)-Pakistanis. All of them were Muslims. I think there were 9 in that particular group who were abusing, grooming and raping underage girls for about 2 years now. Pakistani people tend to originate from Pakistan which is in Asia.

So if someone shouts "Those Asian bastards should be hung, drawn and quartered!" do the owners of the chippy, the newsagents and myself have a right to be annoyed? Or do we just put our heads down and go about our business KNOWING what they mean? But what do they mean? There are around 46 countries in Asia. I bet that the people that shout this kind of stuff couldn't even name half of them. A major problem was that in the newspapers, the words "Asian men" was said a numerous amount of times and with the ignorance of some people, this just doesn't help matters.

I understand how frustrated people can get when this kind of horrific stuff happens. Especially people who are friends and relatives of the victims. And with justice in this country being so shit, I would want them to be hung, drawn and quartered too. When I saw one of my bullies back in school repeatedly groping a girl and forcing himself on her, I was scared. I was too much of a coward at the time but the frustration in me was immense. In some sick way it was worse because I COULD have dome something. I am not like that now-If I was to see him do that again now, nevermind him being hung, drawn and quartered, I would rip his head off myself. If the victim was someone I knew then I don't even know what I would do.

A couple of years ago I served a customer in a shop I worked at. He said he had just gotten out of jail. When I asked why he had been in jail he said because he tied up and tortured someone who had abused an underage girl for 2 days straight.

The girls who had been abused in Rochdale were all white. It is most probably still going on. Even though that gang have been caught, I guarantee you that there are numerous other gangs all in that area. The police who were investigating these sick crimes actually had the nerve of coming out with "This isn't a cultural issue. Anyone could have been a victim of this gang. They weren't targeted just because they were white."

THAT is what a policeman said. What utter fucking bullshit.

The sick people in the gang were OF COURSE targeting young white girls. If they saw a young Pakistani girl, they would no way do this to her. This Pakistani gang were doing these sick, disgusting crimes because they felt like they had power over innocence. Over whites. Treating them like meat and passing them onto their own brothers/cousins for sex. They don't stop and think about how damaging it is. They also don't stop and think how they would feel if their own daughter was being treated like meat and used for sex by gangs.

The plain obvious facts are that this has been happening for years. That the men are mostly from the British-Pakistani community. That police and some people are afraid to say this because they are afraid of being branded racist. People are too afraid to actually get involved if it came down to actually seeing something that looked slightly dodgy. They would shout and curse about it later of course. But if they saw something that wasn't right-would they actually step in?

The following is a link I found which fits in nicely with what I am writing. Bear in mind that the date of this article is the 5th of January 2011. Over 16 months ago:-

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1344218/Asian-sex-gangs-Culture-silence-allows-grooming-white-girls-fear-racist.html

If you read that, notice how this seems to have been a recurring issue. It has been going on for years. Also notice the word "Asian" in the link. I think that it seems that the word "Asian" is used because if the word "Pakistani" was used then there would be cries of racism. The word "Asian" is safer. Unfortunately, angry mobs don't understand that because you might be Asian, it doesn't make you a bad person. Ironically, these are the same kind of people who go to the chippy to get Chinese food, who go to the Indian mini market for some bread and milk.

I understand that child abuse happens everywhere, all over the world. It is horrific and it needs to be stopped. I think that punishment needs to be really severe. As severe as the actual abuse itself. When you hear about how things like this happen so close to home, it really does hit home.

How to get a girl to like you.

No offence to any females that may read this, but girls are just so strange and weird. I should probably say something along the lines of about 90% of girls that I have come across in my lifetime are strange and weird. Yes, that sounds less offensive.

Also to the regular readers of my blog and to anyone that knows me, you probably already know how this post is going to turn out. Apologies for anyone who may come across this who is really lonely, desperate and think that I may have the secret answers to their lifelong question and think that they might yet be saved. It's not going to happen. Or is it? Nevertheless, you should read on anyway:-

It's a known fact that a lot of girls like "Bad boys". Why? I don't know. There could be a lot of reasons. They like talking about their "relationship problems" to their friends- "Oh my boyfriend is so bad, but I know deep down inside we are meant to be together", "Oh my boyfriend hits me. He beats me so bad but I know that he really loves me", "My boyfriend cheated on me last night. I am so angry but I forgive him", "My boyfriend had sex with me. He cares about me so much but he hasn't called me in 6 weeks", "My boyfriend won't leave his wife/girlfriend for me". Etc.

These are just some of the things that have actually been said to me. If you're a guy that is reading this and you  have heard comments like these from girls, do yourself a favour and stop listening to them. You might think that eventually, the girl that is constantly complaining about her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend, about her husband, about her ex-husband and will eventually see the light and realise that YOU'RE the guy that is right for her. That YOU'RE the guy who will save her. That YOU'RE the guy who is the missing piece in her life-if you think she will realise this-SHE WON'T. You're not there for that. You're there to listen to her pathetic fucking rambling. Like I said, do yourself a favour and stop listening. Stop wasting your time otherwise you will hate yourself for being so stupid.

And as a girl once told me in college "Girls like bad boys because they are exciting". Why she just didn't go on more roller coasters instead of ruining her life I never did understand.

Also, as I have said somewhere on this blog before, I know that there are some girls who feel that they don't deserve happiness. Somewhere, deep down inside themselves, they do think this and they almost subconsciously go for the bad boy because they don't want to be happy. It sounds strange but there are girls out there like that.

So basically 90% of girls (that I have met but probably 90% of all girls ever) like absolute first class idiots. Some of the girls know full well that these guys are absolute first class idiots, some just kid themselves and live in the land of delusion and genuinely believe that they are nice as with the examples of comments said to me that I have used above. So if you are a guy and you are not a first class idiot, then you are already making life difficult for yourself. But for those who are thinking "Yes, you are right, I am now going to act like a first class idiot". Unfortunately, it doesn't work like that. You have to not act like an idiot, you have to BE the idiot. You have to have the nastiness in your blood from the start. Behaving like an idiot will just make you look stupid. But BEING the nasty horrible idiot and boy, then you will get the ladies. Forget opening doors for them, forget pulling a chair from under the table for them to sit down at the restaurant on. Forget the whole "ladies first" and "being a gentleman" shit. This doesn't work. We are not in the 1940s anymore.

Another way to get a girl to like you is to get a girlfriend. For example, if you are after, or have been after a certain girl for a long time and she hasn't taken the slightest bit of notice of you, it is almost guaranteed that if you have a girlfriend (no matter who it is), they will then start to take notice. The very few times in my life when I have actually had a girlfriend, the response from ladies then wanting me was actually overwhelming. Either that or I was just wearing the right aftershave at the time. And it has been that long that I wouldn't even be able to remember what aftershave it was that I was actually using.

I don't know why this is. I don't know if it is the competitiveness in peoples' nature to want someone who is already taken and then feel better when you do get that someone as then that would make that person then "one that won" or is it possible that when someone is already taken, they are just simply more desirable for whatever reason? And for the person who does have someone, is it because when you do have someone, that you automatically have the attitude of not being arsed as you already are taken and then you can do and behave how you choose which makes you irresistible?  Who knows? Fuck knows. But I also have to say that sometimes it is almost as if when people cheat, they feel good about themselves in some sick way.

Talking of not being arsed, this is actually a great way to get a girl. Say if you liked a girl for ages and she knew full well about it and then all of a sudden you would suddenly become not bothered about her and you stopped drooling over her and glaring at her and wishing she was yours and you stopped losing sleep over her etc-if you stopped all this then saw her after you just didn't care anymore, she would be sure to be something on the lines of like "Why isn't he glaring at me anymore?  Why isn't he drooling? Don't I look good today? Has he gone off me? Why has he gone off me? Have I put on weight?" And so on and so on.

Money. If you have money, you will get girls. It is that simple. I don't mean a full time wage. I mean that you have to be rich. And I know some people might be thinking "But what kind of girls would you be attracting with just money?"

My answer to that is-good ones. I'm not just talking about models, film stars etc. But just good girls in general. If you were rich enough, the girls wouldn't have to work and could just go around all day spending your money on handbags and shoes. Shallow ones yes, but aren't most people shallow to some degree anyway? I know a LOT of people say "I look for personality in a person". But if you're in a bar, a park, on a dating website even or ANYWHERE, you are first attracted to looks NOT personality. You think to yourself "She looks nice, I wouldn't mind getting to know her" and THEN you approach her. Nobody is ever in a bar and says "She has a nice personality" because how would you know without talking to her and if it is someone you don't know, you go to the attractive looking ones, not the ones who are sat on the walls eating cheeseburgers. If one one side of the room, you saw beautiful looking girl sipping a glass of red wine and then on the other side of the room you saw a fat gross girl who looked horrendous eating a cheeseburger, you would of course prefer to want to talk to the nice red wine girl. You'd probably have more of a chance talking to the cheeseburger girl though but if you had preference, you would obviously go for the nicer looking one. Is this classed as shallow?

Anyway, back to the point. To get a girl, you don't have to be good looking-you have to just be rich. You don't have to be nice-but you have to be nasty and you don't have to be bothered about her-you have to not be arsed!

I know that there are some guys out there who aren't rich but have gorgeous girlfriends-they are probably the same type of guys who cheat on them etc. So I guess having one or two of the traits above would do.

Identity Crisis

About 9 years ago, someone who was in my class at college said to me "Mukesh, I think what you need to do is to find yourself. You need to find yourself Mukesh." He then went on to say "I am really good at giving advice". So I asked him. "If I need to find myself, how would I go about doing it?" He replied "I don't know. Maybe go on holiday".

Thanks.

So after a lot of jobs, after meeting a lot of people-some of them amazing, some of them fucking idiots-what now? I am in the same place that I was 9 years ago when I left college. Actually, no I am not in the same place-there are a few things that are different. I am older, I have more knowledge of a lot of things including how horrible and vile people can be (even though I was bullied all the way back in school-I have discovered that there are a lot more different ways to be horrible and vile), also a knowledge that not everyone in the world is bad and that there are a few people in the world who are truly inspiring. That is always good to know. I've had lot of work experience. But apart from all that, I am in the same place. At home. With my parents but worse, in debt and also putting myself under a hell of a lot of pressure to try and do something with my life. Feeling stressed more so then I was 9 years ago. Not good.

I've been a drama student, a shop assistant, a barman, a supervisor, a receptionist, a loner, a gambler, a loser, an underachiever. So the question I find that I am constantly asking myself isn't "What am I going to do now?"

But it's "Who am I?"

65 days earlier when I lost my job, I thought it would give me some kind of opportunity to "find myself" as some idiot once told me to do. Oh but wait, I can't go on holiday as I have no money and my passport is out of date. Are there any other ways I could "find myself"? Currently, I just feel insignificant. Pointless. Someone actually asked me today "What do you do now?" Even though I have said it's not what I do but who I am that is more important, I was still a bit affected, annoyed, not happy when I had to reply "Nothing."

I've never understood the whole concept of "plodding along". People keep saying it. Why would you just want to "plod along" and not be someone in life? How can people be content with this?

I guess that a lot of people these days really don't care about that kind of stuff. As long as they don't miss their awful soaps or their terrible "reality" TV shows then they are happy. What a weird way to live life. I really hope one day soon, TV would just stop existing. For about a year at least. But saying that, recently, I am only happy when I am in a pub. With drink. With friends. Or when I am inspired to play my guitar. I guess it's each to their own. Whatever makes you happy makes you happy. Regardless of how pathetic it might seem.

At the minute, I don't know what I am going to do and I am scared that life will just pass me by and I will soon be dead. I keep thinking about the few moments before death and how disappointed I would feel with myself.

So who am I? I don't know. The search for myself continues.