So I read on a key ring.
My first name. 6 letters. 2 syllables. Easy.
Not Mooooooookesh, or Manwesh, or even Mark. Yes Mark. I have been called Mark. What the hell??
A few years ago some guy started chatting to me about religion etc. It took a while for me to explain that I wasn't really too religious. I don't follow it too much. I know and like certain aspects of the Hindu religion and some of the stories are great but I am not religious. It also took a while for me to explain the difference between Hinduism and Islam. I felt like he was opening his eyes to a whole new world whilst I was talking.
Anyway he said right at the end how he "liked your lot." After speaking to him, I actually did understand what he meant however I really didn't like the fact that he was stereotyping "my lot." There are over 1 billion Indian people in the world. I am sure that at least a few of them are different to each other. Plus I am actually British anyway. This was really difficult for me to explain to him. I felt like he was closing his eyes to a whole new world whilst I carried on talking to him.
He then went on to tell me how he knew a woman on his street who would sometimes make and bring food to him. This oaf then asked me if I would know this woman. I then explained to him that just because this woman is Indian doesn't mean to say that I would know her. There are hundreds of Indians living in the town I live in. I also told him I was probably more British then he was and that just went completely over his head. So I asked what this woman was called. Her name.
"Shirley".
Now I hate stereotyping. I hate people that stereotype. I like to think each person is an individual and all that. But I had to ask:-
"An Indian woman called Shirley??"
"Oh no, Shirley isn't her real name. I just call her that because I don't know her real name. It is something weird that I've never heard of."
Now the oaf had annoyed me more than ever. But the problem is a LOT of people are like this. And people whose names might be unfamiliar are now tending to accept it.
For example, I know a guy who has the same name that my dad had. Pravin. It is supposed to mean intelligent or clever or something along those lines. But rather than have people calling him Pravin-his REAL name. People call him "Jimmy". Because in his words- "it is easier".
Another example is another Indian who manages an Indian pub. Even though there are more Indians than none Indians who go there the majority of the time, he also uses a fake name. His real name is the same name of a character from The Simpsons. "Apulvar". Or "Apu" for short. However he wants people to call him "Andy". Because in his words-it is "more practical".
Now I am all for easier and more practical things in life. But I really don't think that this is the way to go about it. The problem with these things is that it gets impossible for people to open their minds to other cultures, other possibilities, other ways of lives.
If Shirley delivers the food, Jimmy decorates the flowers and Andy serves the pint in the pub, not only is it too easy, but it is also mundane. I know people are afraid of the unfamiliar and sometimes it is not even a case of feeling threatened, it is just a case of opening your eyes and treating people as individuals. Who they ARE not who in your eyes you think they should be.
As for the people who want to it to be easier and more practical and give everyone a name that isn't theirs. That is the first step to losing your identity.
Don't be afraid of giving a name people might not get, or might find weird or might not understand. It is up to them to get, to like it and to be intrigued by it. To like you for who you are. People should be comfortable in asking about your name if they have never heard it before. People who give fake names should be comfortable in telling people their real names because it is who they are. It is their name!
Also, if people call you a certain name that you're not, that could lead to people having their own perceptions of you that aren't true. Don't let people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.
So rather than calling myself "Mark" or "John" or whatever might be easier and practical:-
My name is Mukesh.
A few years ago some guy started chatting to me about religion etc. It took a while for me to explain that I wasn't really too religious. I don't follow it too much. I know and like certain aspects of the Hindu religion and some of the stories are great but I am not religious. It also took a while for me to explain the difference between Hinduism and Islam. I felt like he was opening his eyes to a whole new world whilst I was talking.
Anyway he said right at the end how he "liked your lot." After speaking to him, I actually did understand what he meant however I really didn't like the fact that he was stereotyping "my lot." There are over 1 billion Indian people in the world. I am sure that at least a few of them are different to each other. Plus I am actually British anyway. This was really difficult for me to explain to him. I felt like he was closing his eyes to a whole new world whilst I carried on talking to him.
He then went on to tell me how he knew a woman on his street who would sometimes make and bring food to him. This oaf then asked me if I would know this woman. I then explained to him that just because this woman is Indian doesn't mean to say that I would know her. There are hundreds of Indians living in the town I live in. I also told him I was probably more British then he was and that just went completely over his head. So I asked what this woman was called. Her name.
"Shirley".
Now I hate stereotyping. I hate people that stereotype. I like to think each person is an individual and all that. But I had to ask:-
"An Indian woman called Shirley??"
"Oh no, Shirley isn't her real name. I just call her that because I don't know her real name. It is something weird that I've never heard of."
Now the oaf had annoyed me more than ever. But the problem is a LOT of people are like this. And people whose names might be unfamiliar are now tending to accept it.
For example, I know a guy who has the same name that my dad had. Pravin. It is supposed to mean intelligent or clever or something along those lines. But rather than have people calling him Pravin-his REAL name. People call him "Jimmy". Because in his words- "it is easier".
Another example is another Indian who manages an Indian pub. Even though there are more Indians than none Indians who go there the majority of the time, he also uses a fake name. His real name is the same name of a character from The Simpsons. "Apulvar". Or "Apu" for short. However he wants people to call him "Andy". Because in his words-it is "more practical".
Now I am all for easier and more practical things in life. But I really don't think that this is the way to go about it. The problem with these things is that it gets impossible for people to open their minds to other cultures, other possibilities, other ways of lives.
If Shirley delivers the food, Jimmy decorates the flowers and Andy serves the pint in the pub, not only is it too easy, but it is also mundane. I know people are afraid of the unfamiliar and sometimes it is not even a case of feeling threatened, it is just a case of opening your eyes and treating people as individuals. Who they ARE not who in your eyes you think they should be.
As for the people who want to it to be easier and more practical and give everyone a name that isn't theirs. That is the first step to losing your identity.
Don't be afraid of giving a name people might not get, or might find weird or might not understand. It is up to them to get, to like it and to be intrigued by it. To like you for who you are. People should be comfortable in asking about your name if they have never heard it before. People who give fake names should be comfortable in telling people their real names because it is who they are. It is their name!
Also, if people call you a certain name that you're not, that could lead to people having their own perceptions of you that aren't true. Don't let people tell you who you are. You have to decide that for yourself.
So rather than calling myself "Mark" or "John" or whatever might be easier and practical:-
My name is Mukesh.
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